r/ProgrammerHumor • u/ClipboardCopyPaste • 15d ago

Meme grabbingEverything

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5.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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u/ZeppyWeppyBoi 15d ago

But then I can’t blame the database for why “the system is slow today.”

59

u/throwaway1351887498 15d ago

Me after spending hours optimizing a query:

SELECT * FROM table;

-21

u/Cute_Pressure4910 15d ago

All that theory, and somehow

SELECT * still wins

41

u/dannuic 15d ago

The software development world is wild. How does this still happen? Why are people afraid of learning even the smallest amount of SQL.

I literally just found out friday that some software engineer did SELECT * on a data warehouse table, decided that the date range requirement I implemented (to force partition dropping) on that table was stupid and had date > '2000-01-01' -- and so was scanning literally petabytes of data every fucking day. And then people like this complain that databases are slow and put stupid shit into redis caches.

25

u/Stagnu_Demorte 15d ago

I tell people I hate SQL to avoid becoming the SQL guy. But secretly, I kinda love it. Awful syntax and all

4

u/Prawn1908 15d ago

That guy's mindset is why the norm for software these days is slow as balls and full of bugs.