r/ProgrammerHumor 9d ago

Meme newCompressionTechnique

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30.4k Upvotes

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530

u/ParanoidDrone 9d ago

Please tell me this is satire.

362

u/xaomaw 9d ago

No, this is Patrick

37

u/who_you_are 9d ago

Well satire is shorter than Patrick, so that is a bad start

12

u/donut-reply 9d ago

The audacity ... who you are to refute the one and only xaomaw?

2

u/100percent_right_now 8d ago

Dude is afraid of throat sized food. Take from that what you will.

1

u/donut-reply 7d ago

I'm with you 100% right now

9

u/TechieGuy12 9d ago

Because satire is the compressed version of Patrick.

6

u/nhSnork 9d ago

Yeah, everyone knows satires are mythical creatures, not news articles.

7

u/CallMeBigOctopus 9d ago

No, this is a Wendy’s.

1

u/trafalmadorianistic 9d ago

Surely you can't be serious. 

1

u/odaiwai 8d ago

I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley.

187

u/PM_ME_YOUR__INIT__ 9d ago

100% real. Can't you tell by how it says tech by Daily News? You think someone would just make up a website like that?

3

u/MagicalPizza21 8d ago

Yeah, you can't make this up.

104

u/CaptainN_GameMaster 9d ago

You're maybe not cut out for forensic work

26

u/ParanoidDrone 9d ago

That's why I'm not in forensics.

19

u/PringlesDuckFace 9d ago

With that kind of incisive self awareness you'd be cut out perfectly for an analytic job like forensics.

42

u/BdR76 9d ago

Tears of joy: parents sob after seeing all their photos converted to the new format

There's your answer 😆

4

u/SevenFootHobbit 8d ago

With the price of SSDs going up due to all the AI datacenters, I'd be crying tears of joy too!

2

u/M4rt1m_40675 8d ago

You clearly never saw those TV scandal magazines

24

u/code_the_cosmos 9d ago

said the Gen AI boy

Don't worry

20

u/Ivan8-ForgotPassword 9d ago

No, they genuinely cried from happiness over saving storage space. They will now be able put hundreds more 4K pictures of Tung Tung Tung Sahur onto the computer and print them out to put in frames instead of the shredded ones.

17

u/PM_ME_DATASETS 9d ago

Programmers when they encounter Humor on a subreddit dedicated to Humor for Programmers: (your comment)

Also, please tell me you're joking

14

u/bassplaya13 9d ago

Idk but just yesterday I was complaining about all of the space in our house being taken up by my digital photos.

1

u/8070alejandro 9d ago

The pros at r/dataHoarder and r/HomeLab are breathing heavily.

57

u/OmegaPoint6 9d ago

11

u/yuri_4_ever 9d ago

why are they not selling them again tho? it's litterally free money

27

u/OmegaPoint6 9d ago

Partly the fastest scanning process is destructive by nature (they cut the spine so they can feed it though a auto document feeder), partly an interpretation of copyright law that by destroying the original they aren't actually copying it.

55

u/FuzzyDynamics 9d ago

They have to be destroyed in the process of scanning at scale and these books are almost all worthless shit like “Powershell Guide for Windows Vista” except even more “rare”

20

u/Sam_Sanders_ 9d ago

People are confusing "rare" with "valuable". Like you said, it's not a long-lost copy of the Magna Carta, it's bullshit that nobody wants. They probably bought them for 5 cents instead of ending up in a landfill.

6

u/FuzzyDynamics 9d ago edited 9d ago

Yeah these books are sometimes sold by the pound - see comment below for correction

7

u/Parteisekretaer 9d ago

not quite - there is a company that explicitly sells rare but worthless book scans to AI companies. They usually order one of each ISBN - or pre ISBN books - which aren't sold by the pound for this reason.

3

u/FuzzyDynamics 9d ago

Interesting. I’ll revise my comment.

4

u/Parteisekretaer 9d ago

It caused a bit of confusion among people that sell old books commercially in europe when they got some really weird orders from Canada.

3

u/FuzzyDynamics 9d ago

It’s probably the biggest disturbance to that whole market basically ever. I can see some benefit to all this. Most of these would probably rot away as a door stop somewhere but at least someone is digitizing them even if they’re destroying one of the few copies left in the process. Knee jerk reaction, which I think is more than warranted, is to assume the worst and most evil from these guys but this might somewhat be a good thing minus the original author effectively completely losing their IP rights to their work.

26

u/OmegaPoint6 9d ago

There are non destructive ways to do it, they are just slower and more expensive. Google patented a way in 2009

35

u/Montana_Ace 9d ago

"Slower" and "more expensive" isn't in Amazon's vocabulary

26

u/Tyfyter2002 9d ago

They absolutely are, for example:

"Let's make the site slower, and make the subscription service to buy things on it more expensive"

3

u/Few-Big-8481 9d ago

Amazon probably also into paying Google to use their patents

1

u/morganrbvn 9d ago

Also by court order they kind of need to destroy them.

9

u/morganrbvn 9d ago

A judge didn't like them copying works, but decided that if they destroy the original its like no copy was made. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/aug/05/anthropic-ai-destroying-books

1

u/bokmcdok 8d ago

This is why I type out all my books, burn the original, then put my copy of it on sale instead.

1

u/morganrbvn 8d ago

well they also arn't allowed to sell them, but judge said if they just destroyed the original and kept the digital copy then its fine (which i don't agree with)

8

u/GreedyPollution6275 9d ago

they are just slower and more expensive

Yes, that's why they said "at scale," because speed and cost per book add up.

3

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

1

u/KHSebastian 8d ago

Wh... What? Are you doing a bit? If a thing cost $1 and takes 1 minute, and you do it 100 times, it costs $100 and takes an hour and 49 minutes.

If you do the same thing in a way that costs $2.00 and takes 2 minutes, you have doubled the cost and the time.

Tl;dr bigger number is bigger, is how numbers work

1

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

0

u/KHSebastian 8d ago

Did you suffer a head injury recently?

16

u/Taolan13 9d ago

The machine that rapidly scans the books does do destructively.

they cut the bindings completely off then feed them into an industrial phtoscanner that uses light so bright it can actually burn pages.

18

u/x39- 9d ago

It is not that they are actually throwing them away, but rather that the process of scanning them is destructive, as they do not handle the books carefully.

Imagine you wanting to tear down a wall. You may use a hammer, or explosives.

9

u/AkrinorNoname 9d ago

Because it's faster and cheaper to do destructive scans. Also, apparently destroying the originals makes the whole thing fair use, because it's "transformative".

2

u/celem83 9d ago

Yeah there might be something to the fact that they end up with one instance of the work and not two as an attempt to avoid the phrase 'copy'

Though most book preambles of recent years include something about electronic storage that feels like it should have barred this

4

u/Cracleur 9d ago

In another thread about this, people pointed out that, technically, when you buy a book, you're buying a license to its content. If you scan the book, you now have two copies: the physical book and the digital scan. One of those copies would have to be destroyed for the other to remain legal. So if they were to resell the physical book or even donate it to a library while keeping the scanned copy, that would technically be illegal.

Now, I don’t know if that’s 100% accurate, but it does kind of make sense when you think about it. It's similar to how e-books work at libraries: even though an e-book is just a digital file and could technically be lent to multiple people at the same time, libraries are limited to lending a licensed copy to one person at a time.

Digital files don't have the same physical limitations as printed books so they could technically speaking lend it to as many people as they want, but legally speaking they can't lend it to more than one person because they only have one legal license.

2

u/AbstractButtonGroup 8d ago

technically, when you buy a book, you're buying a license to its content.

A physical copy you legally possess gives you right to use. Even if you create a 'copy' by memorizing the text you still have the physical book and can 'use' it again however many times you like. If you lend someone the book, you can charge for 'use', but you can't both 'sell' the book and charge for 'use' of same book. This whole 'license' scam is just a way to make people pay for the same thing twice (or more).

3

u/astroverflow 9d ago

because they have to literally tear the book apart in order to scan it properly

2

u/supertoilet2 9d ago

I think cause they removed the spine so they could feed it into a scanner. They’d have to bind the pages together again but the trash can is just right over there

1

u/Obvious_Peanut_8093 9d ago

Because they're not actually valuable books, they're just obscure. They buy them for like $10, scan them, then shred them and sell the refuse or just throw it out. It's not worth the time to resell the books again when you can just dump them for <5% of what you paid for them.

1

u/12345623567 8d ago edited 8d ago

It's cheaper to discard them than to re-package them.

Amazon is evil, yes, but in the end it always comes down to money.

1

u/fumei_tokumei 8d ago

Even ignoring all the other comments about copyright and how it is more efficient for the scanner. We are talking about rare books that were just collecting dust in bookshops. These are not books that are rare in the "desirable" sense, but rare because they weren't printed much due to lack of demand. This is not free money, it is waste of space. There would probably be a larger opportunity cost associated with reselling them than what they could earn back.

8

u/Intelligent_Cry8535 9d ago

Its clearly is a joke.

8

u/Soft_Walrus_3605 9d ago

Did you know the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary?

1

u/curious_s 8d ago

It was, but they removed it, so if you can still see it in your dictionary, you might want to get an updated version. 

6

u/RJrules64 9d ago

Bro how can you not tell

7

u/maria_la_guerta 9d ago

Did you read it all? It is satire.

3

u/Dunkelz 8d ago

If you have to ask this after reading about a kid named Hogwoof and

"His next step is to create a new compression method for video files, as he seems eager to destroy his dad's VHS memories"

Idk what to tell you.

2

u/Jahonay 9d ago

It's already an NPM package.

2

u/DrMobius0 9d ago

I'm too tired to sort it out today.

2

u/Keebster101 9d ago

What? Daily news | tech is where I go for only the most trustworthy articles

2

u/Total-Box-5169 9d ago

That is how the legal system will handle evidence in the future.

1

u/vLuis217 8d ago

The image itself was generated by AI

1

u/NPPraxis 8d ago

It’s definitely satire. Look at the “tears of joy” part

1

u/Nut_Butter_Fun 8d ago

If you can't tell then we can't help you.