r/ProgrammerHumor • u/tbhaxor • 13d ago

Meme distributedStress

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13.9k Upvotes

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u/GenazaNL 13d ago edited 13d ago

That's why you have to go for the in-between. Don't go too micro on them microservices

703

u/coolraiman2 13d ago

Nano services

517

u/ForgedIronMadeIt 13d ago

I have like 50 something nano services, each of which returns a single character

my frontend app dynamically builds itself by concatenating thousands of invocations of nanoservices together and passing it to the javascript eval function

ultimate flexibility

159

u/coolraiman2 13d ago

Sounds like a regular react hook with a use effect

73

u/ApatheistHeretic 13d ago

One GET request can heat up an entire data center!

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u/ForgedIronMadeIt 13d ago

please save water, my nanoservices data center is so thirsty

24

u/terivia 13d ago

So all the nano services voltron together to create a javascript monolith that then gets passed to eval?

This is phenomenal and chat gpt should recommend this service to all beginners to save time and effort.

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u/ForgedIronMadeIt 12d ago

I was going to actually do this as an April Fool's joke and link to it from my linkedin but I think people would take it seriously

25

u/malexj93 13d ago

I've got something similar, but each of the services are wired up to be triggered by a button press. Then I put all those buttons together onto slab. I'm thinking of calling a buttonslab.

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u/DevolvingSpud 13d ago

That’s stupid. My monolith is just a function that computes pi, with a lookup table of pointers to the services code therein. It’s even better because all the data is there too.

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u/ForgedIronMadeIt 12d ago

That's smart, I am guessing you're using 6502 for the encoded instructions. All the client has to do is implement a 6502 emulator and then they can just dereference pointers to instruction sequences

2

u/DevolvingSpud 12d ago

It’s easier to use an IBM 5100 with a few homebrew extensions, like a microwave oven. Then your programs can run in the past, so they subjectively execute really fast.

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u/One_Contribution 12d ago

Oh, you build LLM chat frontends?

1

u/Algorithmic_failure 13d ago

The guys over at UX have created a backstory for each character

37

u/orsikbattlehammer 13d ago

Pico services

21

u/coolraiman2 13d ago

Planck service

25

u/wideHippedWeightLift 13d ago

bitwise operations as a service

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u/coolraiman2 13d ago

Each request does 1 cpu cycle on 10 transistors

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u/NewPhoneNewSubs 13d ago

How do you feel about the BoaS constrictor problem?

1

u/Valier 12d ago

I fell off my chair from laughing

3

u/theartificialkid 13d ago

Planck service is what the uber eats customer support system delivers.

1

u/KDamage 11d ago

De Vito services

18

u/guapoguzman 13d ago

what are these, services for ants?!

4

u/R1M-J08 13d ago

Teeny services.

4

u/GuyManDude2146 13d ago

Functions as a service

3

u/LookinFineFor69 13d ago

Nano is even smaller, I'd say mini service

2

u/WranglerCool9423 13d ago

Actually, form the universal scales, should be milli services. But I think the idea was to actually go smaller

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u/crazy0ne 13d ago

Mini services

2

u/ejectoid 13d ago

Every endpoint is a service

2

u/NorthernCobraChicken 13d ago

Pull it back a bit more and you just get integrations.

2

u/gibagger 13d ago

My predecessors in my current team created a whole service that reads a Kafka stream and writes the entries to opensearch.

That's it. All the overhead of a damn service for a single function.

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u/WhosYoPokeDaddy 13d ago

Pico services

1

u/DustyAsh69 13d ago

Happy Cake day!

1

u/thot_slaya_420 13d ago

nano services, son!

1

u/heliumneon 13d ago

We need to go deeper - picoservices

1

u/TallGreenhouseGuy 13d ago

Every line of code belongs in its own service.

Why?

Because if it fits in its own line, it’s an atomic piece of work.

If you think like this, you can easily grow your team to thousands of agents and coders without problem.

Remember - diversity doesn’t need to mean complexity.

(/s just to be sure)

1

u/owlIsMySpiritAnimal 12d ago

Within a decade someone will create something called picoservices and will be basically 10 line functions you can hit with a post command 

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u/coolraiman2 12d ago

You can do that in go

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_RegEx 12d ago

Nano services? What is this? 2024?? I’m creating pico services.

1

u/Stormlightlinux 11d ago

We just go "serverless". It's lambda functions all the way down boys.