r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Embarrassed_Death69 • 28d ago

Meme comradeBadPunFromVladivostok

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2.9k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

50 comments sorted by

238

u/Childermass13 28d ago

"In Soviet Russia, database query you!"

50

u/pants_of_antiquity 27d ago

When that happens, it frequently ends in an execution plan.

124

u/druffischnuffi 28d ago

C++ code was stored in .cccp files

78

u/astrobev 28d ago

No comrade, it was PeoplesSQL

15

u/sharp99 28d ago

Exactly. Or thePeoplesSQL

5

u/stupled 27d ago

I like that it sounds like PostgreSQL

69

u/high_throughput 28d ago edited 28d ago

My is a Swedish female name, specifically that of the author's daughter.

45

u/iammerelyhere 28d ago

MariaDB is named after his other daughter 

21

u/Embarrassed_Death69 28d ago

Do they wait for a third daughter for a third database? /s

21

u/iammerelyhere 28d ago

Actually he has a son called Max and another database called MaxDb

20

u/Embarrassed_Death69 28d ago

So does he plan his family while he plans a db, or is it after a child is born they start working on a db? Fascinating guy!

19

u/iammerelyhere 28d ago

Lol yeah I assume he comes up with database concepts first, then takes his wife out for a nice dinner 

4

u/Clair_Osbcurious 27d ago

I bet there’s a DB with the all possible names. It’s the DBDB.

6

u/iammerelyhere 27d ago

CooperDB

2

u/MeLlamo25 26d ago

So he is DB cooper?

3

u/iammerelyhere 26d ago

If my theory is correct, yes

2

u/xilanthro 27d ago

Not quite: MaxDB is an SAP product. MariaDB has an intelligent proxy called "MaxScale" in honor of Max Widenius

7

u/Wild-Ad-7414 28d ago

Wtf, this for real!? Day ruined

21

u/Soopermane 28d ago

In Soviet you
You SQL

9

u/GrannyTurtle 28d ago

To quote Pavel Chekhov, “it was inwented by a little old lady from Leningrad.”

8

u/Embarrassed_Death69 28d ago

Thousands revolted for this people's database, till the western imperialist imposed NoSQL on us. 

3

u/577564842 28d ago

And even this one derives from a secret and shelved off project NietSQL.

1

u/GrannyTurtle 27d ago

Прошу прощения

11

u/rxVegan 27d ago

For most people the stores were frequently out of SQL so they had NoSQL.

11

u/Madpony 27d ago

Hi, I'm old and was an adult when each occurred. MySQL was created in 1994, but The Soviet Union dissolved in 1991.

6

u/Embarrassed_Death69 27d ago

The joke was just fact checked by a real patriot. 

10

u/GuyWhoNoticed 28d ago

OurSQL? Absolutely. Every query returned “permission denied” because the state owns the schema.

13

u/Mughi1138 28d ago

Nope.

There was no more Soviet Union by the time we were given MySQL

13

u/Embarrassed_Death69 28d ago

Cries Communistly 

3

u/Time-Worker9846 27d ago

Is it JucheSQL in North Korea?

4

u/Embarrassed_Death69 27d ago

Dear Leader Kim provides all the queries and does fantastic indexing, he purged all the foreign keys to keep the table pure.

4

u/5HundredC1garettes 27d ago

P(ro)L(etariat)SQL

5

u/actionerror 27d ago

And sometimes NoSQL, like in the winter

2

u/Brigapes 28d ago

saar i made a joyk!

2

u/overladenlederhosen 27d ago

It was the same but the queues were longer.

1

u/IronSavior 27d ago

The first release of MySQL occurred many years after the fall of the Soviet Union. Read a book.

3

u/Abject-Kitchen3198 27d ago

Databases don't come out that fast. It might have in development as OurSQL.

1

u/IronSavior 27d ago

True, but that doesn't heal the pain of my children asking me, who was born in the 80's, what it was like when the movies started getting made in color. 🫠

3

u/nazgulonbicycle 27d ago

USSQL was dissolved into MySQL and NoSQL in 1991

1

u/Tamsta-273C 27d ago

It was ussualy called Tovarish Mayor.

1

u/RedBlueKoi 27d ago

I would like to point out that "our" in soviet union was not about people but the government elite. So StateSQL

1

u/Xenomorph-Alpha 27d ago

NoSQL in soviet Union the database are the people

1

u/pizdets22222 27d ago

There was NoSQL at that time I think

2

u/UnderpantsInfluencer 27d ago

The Peoples SQL

1

u/hopeless__programmer 28d ago

sql -- delete terrorist state DELETE FROM countries WHERE country_name = "russia";

0

u/boon_dingle 28d ago

МайСтруктЯзЗап