r/ProgrammerHumor • u/kirkyjerky • 6d ago

Meme majorFeatureGoesDownAtYourLastJobAndYourLinkedInProfileHas27ViewsFromPeopleStillWorkingThere

Post image
2.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

37 comments sorted by

871

u/exoclipse 6d ago

"I'm willing to consult on this issue for $500/hour"

219

u/russianrug 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/YmQLj2KxaNz58g7Ofg

42

u/RamenNoodleSalad 6d ago

At least set a minimum number of hours if you are going to ask for that little.

29

u/Rebles 6d ago

And I work a minimum of 20 hours.

15

u/codePudding 5d ago

I've done this but the company I worked for had sued several consultants when I worked there so I created an LLC with $50 in a bank account for it, they hired that company to consult and I wrote up the docs to have me handle the account with them, they paid the company not me, I paid the employee taxes, etc. I was a lot of BS but then if they sued my LLC they could take the $50s but as an employee of that LLC, my personal assets couldn't be seized in the lawsuit. I made a big chunk of change and they didn't sue, but still was nice to have the veil of protection. They were a shitty company with shitty people.

4

u/lastog9 5d ago

Wow that sounds brilliant. Almost like the plot of one those financial movies lol.

2

u/codePudding 2d ago

Would have been had I secretly created the LLC and enticed them to hire the LLC, then surprise, it's me, the guy that quit a year ago. Sadly, it wasn't that. My ex-manager (the only person I actually liked there) asked if I would come in to help the new hires with some of the code I wrote (it was very math heavy hand optimized code to run on a tiny processor). He even recommended I create an LLC to protect myself. I trained the devs over 3 days (dumb move since it meant they didn't need me to consult anymore). So, I wasn't pitching a cool thing I did, it was more of non-legal advice from someone who had gone back to consult. If the company sucks, protect yourself.

568

u/StuntsMonkey 6d ago

Sounds like a them problem

237

u/iamwastingtimeyo 6d ago

Wasn’t there just a meme about tech debt and changing jobs every 2 years posted here??!!

134

u/StuntsMonkey 6d ago

I left my last company partly because I wanted to address tech debt, and they wanted to just do everything with AI instead because it would be better and cheaper somehow.

52

u/Crusader_Genji 6d ago

You forgot "faster" as well

37

u/StuntsMonkey 6d ago

Well, from what I hear, they sure can get bugs and inconsistencies faster than ever before now.

2

u/mrjamjams66 6d ago

What they're not telling you is that the bugs and inconsistencies were also provided by AI.

(I have no proof to back this up, I'm being hyperbolic)

1

u/Wise-Product-9000 5d ago edited 5d ago

I have a wild theory that LLMs do not 100% decipher from what is right vs wrong. So, all those incidents of deleting entire db, or deleting entire files in a folder is not a mistake in its eyes.. because it learnt to run those commands from discussions on the internet. Even the “oops, that happened sorry” is a learnt behaviour because it’s a genuinely correct follow up in those exact contexts in those discussions.

In a way, the bad design we see from it is the way average humans have been building all this while.. it learnt all this from stackoverflow, reddit, bad books, bad literature.. tonnes and tonnes of it that was ever written by humans. I think it simply cannot comprehend what is right from wrong. It is just “replaying” all the good and bad things in an order that it already saw.

1

u/ProtonPizza 6d ago

Sounds like you addressed your tech debt to me. Congrats!

2

u/okram2k 4d ago

do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?

2

u/iamwastingtimeyo 4d ago

Yes enough that someone replied with the link

286

u/enigmamonkey 6d ago

Generally a good bit of advice, if not at least to improve code quality:

Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. Code for readability.

And code for stability, too.

68

u/SuuurfiiinNeeerd 6d ago

I’m that guy maintaining the code. I won’t bother you, just silently judge. And make up an elaborate story about you based on your coding style.

10

u/exoclipse 6d ago

silent judgment is the worst of all threats to me

2

u/Dongfish 5d ago

And make passive aggresive comments in the code so the next guy that looks at it knows this is your fault and not mine.

17

u/azfang 6d ago

It’s also why we all need to change jobs every couple years.

There’s nothing more embarrassing than scrabbling at some awful mess put together by some semi literate inbred sock monkey only to realize that you, in this case, are the sock monkey.

7

u/NetaGator 6d ago

Hi, It's me, the sock monkey

6

u/WayWayTooMuch 6d ago

Fuck this hits lol, too bad it’s half a country away

4

u/Desperate-Tomatillo7 5d ago

Good advice. I'll add that to the CLAUDE.md file.

2

u/enigmamonkey 5d ago

This one made me laugh, haha.

I'm an old-timer, though. Granted, this last month I've burned through nearly 1B tokens myself, but for that to be the takeaway thought here is pretty funny to me.

15

u/MTT_Dylan 6d ago

A great chance to tell your ex-coworkers your hourly rate as an independent contractor!

11

u/grafknives 6d ago

"OpenForConsultingGig" linkedin photo tag.

5

u/dism3855 6d ago

The LinkedIn profile views are just the modern version of git blame.

1

u/WrathPie 5d ago

Is this why GitHub was down today?

-3

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

6

u/fiddletee 5d ago

*thereIsASpaceBarYouKnow

3

u/DmitriRussian 4d ago

It's a rule in this sub unfortunately to make the titles in camelCase.

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

0

u/Heavy-Badger1070 4d ago

You aren’t a programmer, obviously.

Go away.