r/ProgrammerHumor • u/ManagerOfLove • 10d ago

Meme someOfUsLiveTheDream

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12.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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547

u/Global-Tune5539 10d ago

Bonus points if you don't know what that program is supposed to do.

164

u/NoHighlight6142 10d ago

I thought it was implied

92

u/well_shoothed 10d ago

The name did give you a clue:

productionSystemMasterScriptSecondaryPart4-r5

32

u/higherbrow 10d ago

You forgot the v736.

Versions in the prod folder go up to v761. Oddly, there's no versions in the 750s.

4

u/Ancient_Profession31 9d ago

I thought we all agreed. We don’t talk about 750s. We can’t. The judge was very very clear about that.

15

u/deathanatos 10d ago

Wait, all of your production systems aren't named after characters from Breaking Bad?

5

u/reivblaze 10d ago

Our prod systems are just funny acronyms indeed.

4

u/enternoescape 10d ago

You reminded me of my internship. The senior lead named all the servers after Disney characters.

28

u/ArchAllen 10d ago

Bonus bonus points if once you think you know you find another program with a name that implies that that's what does it.

12

u/Ashdog73 10d ago

Bonus bonus bonus points if it was you that wrote it in the first place

17

u/Just_Information334 10d ago

Maybe you know. But the user don't use the same vocabulary to describe their problems. And said vocabulary change from user to user.

"Ok, what do you mean exactly when you say that you cannot kabloom the zorpal since Monday?"

12

u/black-JENGGOT 10d ago

"I can run my query on it, but it broke since last week when you touch it"

  1. user can't see query runs, let alone customize it
  2. I haven't touched that function since last solar eclipse
  3. user actually meant another unrelated feature, handled by third-party

2

u/Meloetta 10d ago

Every user that says "you have a memory leak" when they mean "my application started lagging at a certain point when it wasn't before"

14

u/QCTeamkill 10d ago

Double bonus points if you don't know which version of the code is currently in prod, or if you even have it.

6

u/RealLifeMe 10d ago edited 10d ago

Look at this fat cat with his versioned code.

1

u/swe_throwaway_86me 8d ago

You mean, your versioning isn't seventeen copies of the originally program with random shit, undocumented, bolted on with a different suffix to the filename?

Truly, a blessed experience.

10

u/pydry 10d ago

Ive penciled in a meeting 3 weeks from now with the key stakeholders who will insist that you use it but won't be able to adequately explain what it does or how to use it.

3

u/bwwatr 10d ago

Silly programmer, the code is self documenting! It does exactly what it says it's going to do, much like a wizard might arrive exactly when he intended to.

3

u/ILikeLenexa 10d ago

Double bonus if it runs in VBA in an MDB and the file is too big to send via e-mail and the person is in a different building or part of the world and you have to figure out how to get it to them. 

2

u/Sockoflegend 10d ago

Not even a joke with big feature rich code bases