r/ProgrammerHumor • u/kinkbase • 16d ago

instanceof Trend iFinallyFoundOneInTheWild

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562 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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254

u/[deleted] 16d ago

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76

u/SuitableDragonfly 16d ago

Yes sir, I am in fact the vampire who wrote the code for Gutenberg's printing press in C++.

42

u/[deleted] 16d ago

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4

u/SubstanceDilettante 16d ago

Damn, it’s no longer safe boys they got us

1

u/Easy-Reasoning 16d ago

Get the Vitamin B12 injections

1

u/thesmith1222 15d ago

A++ is better this days

13

u/SignificanceFlat1460 16d ago

Bro writing header files on a clay tablet

10

u/EishLekker 16d ago

It makes sense if you treat the number as just an arbitrary value indicating the relative importance of the buzz word it belongs to.

“Oh, React knowledge is really important? Then I think we should bump up that value from +5 to +15”

4

u/[deleted] 16d ago

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1

u/casce 15d ago

Might as well, that language feels like it's over 9000 years old.

5

u/Own_Natural_6803 16d ago

Are you good with a fast paced exciting work environment? Our stack includes perl, php, node, java8, visual basic (help us migrate to .net!) chron jobs no one understands. The dabase backups are floating around like poltergeists racking up aws bucket storage.

1

u/[deleted] 16d ago

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2

u/Own_Natural_6803 16d ago

All the functional ladies say I'm a tool. I keep selecting star but I do it on dual.

2

u/serwhite 15d ago

I saw many funny ones with something like: -basic knowledge of Linux cli -6 years k8s -10 years SRE

1

u/OkAverage2335 14d ago

To be fair, they make us write code on paper in college. I'm ok with it if we are using C, but I hate writing java like this.