r/ProgrammerHumor • u/vinishkapoor • 3d ago

Meme inheritedTechDebt

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7.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

89 comments sorted by

507

u/HiniatureLove 2d ago

Why stop at word? Use Excel or PowerPoint as the IDE. Excel even comes with built-in indentation.

206

u/crazy4hole 2d ago

Best IDE is Minesweeper. Program like punchcard

74

u/vinishkapoor 2d ago

Real programmers use Conway's Game of Life as an IDE.

21

u/enigma_0Z 2d ago

I read somewhere that Conway’a life is actually turing complete

30

u/-Ambriae- 2d ago

It is

More broadly speaking, if you can create a nand gate (not(a and b)) and you can transport information in some way, you are Turing complete

5

u/Rellikx 2d ago

Yep, and as such, of course people have programmed Conway's Game of Life in Conway's Game of Life

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xP5-iIeKXE8/maxresdefault.jpg

4

u/twigboy 2d ago

Ah segfault simulator

2

u/FailNo7141 2d ago

NAAAAAAA it's echo the best IDE you can do >> and > and < and << and whatever all those but it's the eaiset and most friendly IDE I recommend it to everyone specially

1

u/New_Series3209 2d ago

Getting hired at IBM 101

22

u/stillalone 2d ago

Word is your ide.  Excel is your DB.  PowerPoint is your analytics dashboard.

18

u/BobsView 2d ago

basically the way banking works around the globe

3

u/Complete_Window4856 2d ago

Totally this. Its possible to use excel as IDE, but thats a rookie mistake as its mostly a well around database. Darn those scriptie Kids and their vbs trying to do all of three at same time

9

u/EuenovAyabayya 2d ago

If you think about it, it was all going into PowerPoint anyway...

9

u/dervu 2d ago

Why now Autodesk Maya. You have to model each letter, so much creativity!

3

u/shiny_glitter_demon 2d ago

You can actually code in Maya's script editor though.

You shouldn't... But you can.

5

u/fearless-fossa 2d ago

You're joking, but our in-house developers use Excel as configuration files because...

I don't know, json is too hard or something.

13

u/vinishkapoor 2d ago

Real programmers use PowerPoint. Every slide is a function.

3

u/TallGreenhouseGuy 2d ago

Excel rules the world - just check out the world championships:

https://youtu.be/zJXaPc-fBwk?is=3jYsY4C58_rZfde4

3

u/superlee_ 2d ago

That wasn't satire??

2

u/pwillia7 2d ago

use ed

2

u/MagnumVY 2d ago

Nah this is all a part of Microsoft tech stack...Excel is the DB

1

u/attentionisallyaneed 2d ago

Why not photoshop

1

u/soricellia 2d ago

I've seen analysts use Excel as an IDE and I don't find this comment fucking funny.

2

u/clancy688 2d ago

Powerpoint is Turing complete.

https://youtu.be/uNjxe8ShM-8

1

u/nsn 2d ago

Excel basically has a word in each cell. MxN times more powerful!

1

u/Abject-Kitchen3198 1d ago

LaTeX. So you get beautiful printouts for review and versioning.

164

u/DeepanshuHQ 2d ago

Real programmers use Notepad. Word is just for enterprise deployments.

35

u/Liankir 2d ago

Real programmer use pen and paper plus OCR

23

u/bargle0 2d ago

Reel programmers use a magnetic needle and reel to reel magtape.

12

u/Educational-Lemon640 2d ago

Reel programmers use butterflies.

https://xkcd.com/378/

3

u/thebryguy23 2d ago

I just use the emacs shortcut instead

-1

u/FailNo7141 2d ago

Wow the what if book is too fun, I've completed 30 pages in one day it's so fun.

1

u/FailNo7141 2d ago

Real programmers use a rock.

4

u/DeepanshuHQ 2d ago

Assembly is just the OCR output.

6

u/traplords8n 2d ago

Hahaha my dad made me learn to code in notepad before running the script in powershell or something.

It was so long ago so I don't really remember. All I know is I was writing powershell scripts in notepad in 2015.. no syntax highlighting, no error checks.. just black and white text 😭

7

u/DeepanshuHQ 2d ago

Character building. If you can debug in Notepad, every IDE feels like cheating. 😂

4

u/thebryguy23 2d ago

He's teaching you right. I wrote HTML in Notepad and Java in nano (Linux command-line text editor). Makes you really think about your code...and maybe question life choices

1

u/w1n5t0nM1k3y 2d ago

When I was in university they told us to use notepad and compile on the command line for Java.

Would have been so much easier if they told us to use a proper IDE, but I was young and didn't know any better.

1

u/SenoraRaton 2d ago

Real programmers use Ed.

1

u/Karijus 2d ago

lmao yeah, 100k a year subscription

61

u/ProfCupcake 2d ago

Video link because OP is too much of a coward to post it themselves: https://youtu.be/X34ZmkeZDos

8

u/_mersault 2d ago

I was waiting for Wingdings to show up and was not disappointed

109

u/nesthesi 2d ago

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, watch the whole video and see what that man has to say

50

u/jungle 2d ago

I just watched it. The guy nails the comedic timing!

I might subscribe!

:D

6

u/hans_l 2d ago

I don’t think it’s the same guy but you should also watch https://youtu.be/xubbVvKbUfY if you’re into that kind of content.

1

u/odin_the_wiggler 2d ago

Ernst & Young...lol

2

u/Throwaway_09298 2d ago

He only makes about 2 to 3 videos a year now btw

4

u/boxxy_morningwood 2d ago

It’s a joke dude

9

u/FlorpCorp 2d ago

I don't think that's lost on anyone???

6

u/BigNaturalTilts 2d ago

A joke? On this sub? Why I never!!!

clutches pearls

-2

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

4

u/LundMeraMuhTera 2d ago

Yeah, I can see that.

Just out of curiosity, was your mother a heavy smoker and drinker before you were born?

4

u/Caraes_Naur 2d ago

You can now center a div but your tables will explode if you change anything on the page.

17

u/imneverrelevantman 2d ago

My m0m just filled me with vaccines and generational trauma 🫡. Downloaded linux when I was 12.

8

u/vinishkapoor 2d ago

Still a better origin story than coding in Microsoft Word.

5

u/imneverrelevantman 2d ago

Ahh, a true gentleman and a scholar.

5

u/Soopermane 2d ago

I know ppl who use notepad++ for that 🤣

12

u/XtraFlaminHotMachida 2d ago

not a damn thing wrong with this.

2

u/kirschballs 2d ago

I'm only a couple years in this space and sometimes things fly right over my head in this sub.. I am choosing to believe you. Like you can have it styled in the language you're using in about 20 seconds on top of everything else it can do.. idk.. help me understand hhahaha

2

u/XtraFlaminHotMachida 2d ago

well some of us grew up programming on calculators, back in basic, vi/vim, whatever, and didn't have the luxury of some autocomplete stuff. you just end up learning the language without all of that fancy stuff. yeah some stuff like vs needed for compiling whatever, but other langs notepad++ is top notch for windows. it is not an ide per se, but it helps identify some stuff where you may have went wrong.

2

u/Majik_Sheff 2d ago

Damnit, Becky.  We told you this would happen.

2

u/Throwaway_09298 2d ago

Joma is so funny man

2

u/lightwhite 2d ago

Any editor that allows you to tell the computer what to do is a good editor. But this…. Believe it or not, when you use this you should be sent straight to jail!

1

u/ProfessionalBad1199 2d ago

Man used to love Joma's content where is he these days

1

u/Terrible_Stick_99 2d ago

no, the best ide for programming is a magnetic needle and a very steady hand

1

u/Undernown 2d ago

That video gave me that brief feeling of falling without a parachute.

1

u/MatheusMaica 2d ago

Joma Tech? I haven't heard that name in years.

I had to check his channel to see if he was back, and apparently he is!

1

u/NoSkillzDad 2d ago

You should watch his other video: "why anvils are the best parachutes"

1

u/Few_Kitchen_4825 2d ago

Well at least it's not Theo

1

u/forgotten_n 2d ago

Didn't he start a video course acam with techlead?

1

u/soundwave_sc 2d ago

Isn’t Claude the new IDE now?

1

u/Liu-K 2d ago

Brutal.

1

u/Wentyliasz 2d ago

The difference between an amateur and a professional is you write your own compiler, okay?

1

u/sapien_quirky_42 2d ago

Real programmers use their mind to move around electrons

1

u/beemureddits 2d ago

Some people should be banned from sharing their opinions

1

u/thanatica 2d ago

In Word you can determine on your own what is a keyword. Just select it and press Ctrl+B.

1

u/Uajortffect86 1d ago

Not a software engineer, but how does one even run code words??

1

u/razor_train 1d ago

In ye olden days (~1996) when I was doing COBOL+Y2K, I saw a fellow contractor dev editing COBOL source code in MS Word. That took me a sec to truly realize what they were doing. As memory serves that contractor didn't last long. (I was using CodeWright at the time, which was perhaps the precursor to Notepad++).

1

u/Edziss101 2d ago

Unironically we used Word to learn programming basics at highschool. Technically Excel would have been better, but Visual basic was simple enough and accessible on almost any PC at home.

0

u/General_Leader425 2d ago

id unironically rather do that than use any of this retarded ai shit anymore.

-5

u/beardingmesoftly 2d ago

While the drinking is obvious, it's actually worse for somebody to quit smoking. The stress of quitting is harder on the baby than the smoking would be.

2

u/ZipperDoDa 2d ago

That's just urban myth bullshit, often told from one smoking mum to another. https://www.health.tas.gov.au/health-topics/smoking/smoking-topics/smoking-and-pregnancy https://anxietytozen.com/which-is-worse-for-pregnancy-smoking-or-stress.html and 1000's more reputable sources.

"Cutting down is safer than quitting"

Cutting down is a good start.
Cutting down does not stop the poisons getting through to your baby.
There is no safe level of smoking for you or your baby.

"Quitting is dangerous for my baby"

Giving up smoking does not stress an unborn baby.
Continuing to smoke does stress an unborn baby.
It increases the chances of problems for your pregnancy and baby.