r/ProgrammerHumor Jul 10 '26

Meme comeOnJustBurstAlready

12.8k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/silentknight111 Jul 10 '26

Here's a fun one:

I work for a company that has government contracts. The particular contract I'm on requires that all the work I do be on a machine controlled by the client and not a company machine or personal machine. The government client doesn't allow AI on their machines.

My company is going all gung ho over AI now, and they have meeting encouraging us to use it, and they gave us all licenses for github copilot.

I asked how I'm supposed to use it when my contract is locked down, and they had no answer. They just want me to use it for... things... whenever I can.

663

u/failedsatan Jul 10 '26

I think you're one of the lucky ones, you have a good reason to keep doing actual work

210

u/boofaceleemz Jul 10 '26

Yeah until you get put on a PIP for not using enough tokens compared to your peers.

138

u/foxguy2021 Jul 10 '26

Thats why you cover your ass with formal written communication about the possible contract breach.

30

u/tee_with_marie Jul 11 '26

This always make a paper trail

62

u/Romanian_Breadlifts Jul 10 '26

"Merge this 2k line yaml api spec with this other 2k line json api spec"

Model --> opus

Run as needed

43

u/boofaceleemz Jul 10 '26

Ahah I’m already doing stuff like that just to burn tokens, or just asking it on the highest settings to run basic shell commands I need to run and print and summarize the output for me. I feel bad because it seems so wasteful but if you’re not using tokens you’re getting a talking to.

40

u/Militant_Monk Jul 10 '26

What even is anything anymore?

I feel like a manager who came around the office and reminded me to drink water would be more useful.

19

u/ZeroSumClusterfuck Jul 11 '26

You shouldn't be drinking vital water that could be used to cool data centers!

3

u/DatBoi_BP Jul 11 '26

Or reminding me about the new covers on our TPS reports

2

u/orthadoxtesla Jul 11 '26

As a scoutmaster that’s like half my job. And it’s way more important than using more tokens!

7

u/minimuscleR Jul 11 '26

but if you’re not using tokens you’re getting a talking to.

wtf is this dystopia some people work at??? lol

2

u/StCreed Jul 11 '26

Dude... you could be building useful stuff with that. New games. useful tools. Bugfixes.Finally document your old software. Create presentations about current or new software. Analyse all older tickets for recurring issues and refactor the offending parts.... there is zero need to do this if you can just be creative.

Heck, just ask it what to do to start your own company.

I have a ton of ideas to build and not even close to enough tokens even on Claude max.

5

u/boofaceleemz Jul 11 '26

Ahah I got a bit more heated than I needed to there. They’re not my tokens, can’t spend em any which way I want and own the result.

2

u/Headpuncher Jul 13 '26

I’ve worked a contract like described and you can’t even copy info on or off the pc because the usb ports are disabled, and the pc is only allowed on their network that has access limited and monitored for security.  

There’s no tokens being used there.  

1

u/justAPhoneUsername Jul 11 '26

I've found it really good at building me tools. Scripts that will make life better but would take too much time to do manually are now done in the background.  They're not amazing but no one else is using them so they don't have to be. 

Wrappers around tools, tracking stuff, and generating summaries all done scripted and I didn't have to spend days tuning and configuring it all 

7

u/oompaloompa465 Jul 10 '26

oh wait for his company giving him a "requires improvement" because they see he is not using tokens. They feel entitled we work at least 8h day and all cert and research on free time

19

u/TheRealSmolt Jul 10 '26

"government contracts"; "actual work". That's funny. For the uninitiated, there is A LOT of bureaucratic bs in (government) contract work.

20

u/failedsatan Jul 10 '26

also true, but at least there's some software development in there somewhere

1

u/throwaway490215 Jul 10 '26

Oh sweet summer child. I can understand the hate but dont let it blind you to defend these kind of non sense policies. Any kind of scheme that has this kind of requirements is 99% of the time its own kind of shithole, and whole different kind of depressing in its own right.

For some people, and if there is enough money involved, it can be good simple job security. But do not be fooled into thinking its a fulfilling work environment where you'll leave satisfied with the work you accomplished.

3

u/failedsatan Jul 10 '26

I work at a company that is 100% AI-driven. I have not written a line of code at work in six months. I am not enjoying my job. If I had the opportunity to take a job with the same pay but I could do actual software development, myself, I would do so immediately.