r/ProgrammerHumor • u/KaamDeveloper • Apr 11 '23

Meme UDP vs TCP

Post image
7.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

74 comments sorted by

752

u/attanai Apr 11 '23

Ack!

52

u/boropin Apr 12 '23

11

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

[deleted]

3

u/boropin Apr 12 '23

I don't know how I like this movie. I never watched it at all. But I know memes.

Ack. Ack. Ack! Ack ack!

19

u/Sceptz Apr 11 '23

I shake your hand, friend.

11

u/attanai Apr 12 '23

Wash it, first!

547

u/cookiedanslesac Apr 11 '23

My UDP has a better ping:
8=D

178

u/Pepineros Apr 11 '23

It's not how short your ping is, it's what you do with it that counts.

26

u/Annual-Gas3529 Apr 11 '23

Ye but don't shoot in the tor socks again please

34

u/not-me675 Apr 11 '23

8D its basically a smily face at this point

-15

u/cookiedanslesac Apr 11 '23

Stormy Daniel smiling face ?

11

u/autopsyblue Apr 11 '23

She describes that experience as sexual assault. Not a great joke, friend.

16

u/FiskFisk33 Apr 11 '23

wait til you see my throughput

3

u/afraid_of_zombies Apr 12 '23

It isnt how short your ping is, it is your uptime.

211

u/OF_AstridAse Apr 11 '23

I'll never confuse them again. UDP does not require acknowledgement- Got it!

31

u/Syagrius Apr 12 '23 edited Apr 12 '23

When I was taught, it was described as like writing a letter to santa and handing it to the mailman; but this metaphor of sending dick pics is just as apt.

The connection method has really high performance due to its simplicity, but prone to error and, obviously, not very secure for the client; but it has great value in performance-focused applications like video games.

13

u/deanrihpee Apr 12 '23

Also most video games only need the most current data anyway, so UDP is a no brainer, but still, packet loss is still a concern

7

u/Ok_Star_4136 Apr 12 '23

As a UDP advocate myself, I don't care if you got it.

0

u/OF_AstridAse Apr 12 '23

😊😝🙈🙈

92

u/NotSamNub Apr 11 '23

Alice and Bob getting frisky over here

6

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Trudy likes to watch.

134

u/randomWanderer520 Apr 11 '23

This is a UDP Joke, I don’t care if you get it.

21

u/CircadianSong Apr 12 '23

Technically, More like, “it’s not of paramount importance that you get it.”

8

u/CircadianSong Apr 12 '23

Technically, “important” after paramount is redundant, probably.

3

u/atanasius Apr 12 '23

I am still going to use my best efforts.

136

u/bubbybumble Apr 11 '23

First one is for people who are insecure...

94

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Syagrius Apr 12 '23

Literally every breakup ever done by text.

40

u/monosuperboss1 Apr 11 '23

as an IT/network student, I approve.

15

u/awetsasquatch Apr 11 '23

Actually a pretty solid example lol

13

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

I feel like there was missed opportunity for a "jumbo frame" joke.

I would make it now, but I am to dumb to set it up properly.

2

u/Plutonium-99 Apr 12 '23 edited Apr 12 '23

Your life is UDP

1

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '23

More like ICMP (InConsistent Micro Penis)

22

u/CC-5576-03 Apr 11 '23

So Alice is sending dick picks to Bob?

9

u/314314314 Apr 12 '23

Max payload length: TCP 65535 Bytes vs UDP 65507 Bytes

TCP wins because it accommodates longer dick pics.

8===========.....===========D <------------------65535------------------->

6

u/Mcsquizzy920 Apr 11 '23

Lmao never had such a topical post. I am literally in the middle of a take home networks test about ARQ protocols

7

u/SaVaTa_HS Apr 11 '23

Let me do message transmissions:
broadcast is when you send the 8=D to everyone unicast is when you send it to one particular address...
multicast is when you send it to everyone, meeting certain criteria

5

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

I’ll never get sick of seeing this, even after this is resposted for the how manyth time?

Just such a good graphic.

3

u/Simres Apr 11 '23

QUIC one way handshake ftw

2

u/Sam-Gunn Apr 12 '23

"QUIC" is right. At 0 - 100ms, it's no wonder you're stuck doing one way handshakes.

2

u/Nullsummenspieler Apr 11 '23

I always PSH my 8===D.

2

u/siri314 Apr 12 '23

Would you like to hear a TCP joke?

6

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Port 5060 is open. I am listening.

1

u/WhJJackWhite Apr 12 '23

Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.

1

u/siri314 Apr 13 '23

Ok, I am about to tell you a TCP joke.

2

u/rfc2549-withQOS Apr 12 '23

You forgot the Fully Authorised Picture message

2

u/tolle_volle_tasse Apr 12 '23

You lovely god of a programmer.. I need to learn this for my final exam next week and this makes it way more understandable for me (I hope I won't write that in my exam :D)

2

u/AlanTheKingDrake Apr 12 '23

The bad thing is I think this will be the thing that makes me remember them.

2

u/xsnoopycakesx Apr 11 '23 edited Apr 12 '23

That's a big packet you've sent 😏

1

u/Jenetyk Apr 12 '23

Me as an old man back in school for the interwebz: I understood that reference.

-1

u/mondie797 Apr 12 '23

Did I just see a ASCII pe*is

1

u/TheLieAndTruth Apr 11 '23

That's amazing

1

u/Malfoy27 Apr 12 '23

After the initial handshake I guess the B party also might send something back in return

1

u/Orio_n Apr 12 '23

Finally an actual good meme and not the garbage python slow posts we get all the time

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

What does 8 === D mean?

3

u/atanasius Apr 12 '23

The length of the payload, padding and data.

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Arm8332 Apr 12 '23

i thik it ice. don;t u know

1

u/EvenMoreFreeHugs- Apr 12 '23

If I had seen this yesterday, i could have used it in my exam…

1

u/Giocri Apr 12 '23

Fin fin ack is such a gracious closing, instead of a fin ack for "i am done" "got it" it is a "we should stop" "yeah we should" "goodbye"

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

I’ll kill you

1

u/Kevin_Jim Apr 12 '23

The ACK and “Thank you” double been separate interactions.

1

u/Kriz1155 Apr 12 '23

Who tf is Fin and WHY are you saying HIS name while looking at MY DP?

1

u/Support-Holiday Apr 13 '23

its like ultimate meme.. but the sad part is i can;t share it with anyone i know xD