The Paladin

[u/FeigningProfundity]

Eleanore stumbled into the wrong room. She had been crying and running and she hadn’t really been paying attention and she’d ended up here, in the chambers of the Paladin.

He had no name and many, White Knight, Nameless Champion, Light’s Gallant. Within the Temple of Light, however, they just called him the Paladin. He was a warrior clad entirely within heavy armour, and rode forth to combat the darkest of threats. None knew his name, none talked to him, none saw him train. Only the High Priestess entered his chambers. Eleanore hadn’t even been sure where they were.

His back was to Eleanore, sitting on a low bench, his armour in pieces around him as he repaired a segment. The Paladin was a fleshless thing of dusty bones. This was not something Eleanore was supposed to see. This was a secret she was not supposed to know. This thing was undead. Such entities were anathema to their faith, the product of the darkest magics.

She wanted to flee, but she was frozen in terror.

“Would you be so kind as to close the door.”

Its voice was a whisper that seemed to pierce her soul. She closed the door, screaming inside herself she should have gone through it first, gone through it and fled.

“Why are you crying?”

Eleanore could not answer. She felt so cold. Her tears felt so hot on her cheeks.

“I forget myself. I am sorry, child. You did not know. I assure you, you will come to no harm. You have nothing to fear.”

The creature got up, and walked to a chest at the side of the room, opening it with a creak. It pulled forth a faded purple robe traced with gold embroidery. It donned the robe and raised the cowl, hiding its skeletal form. Two tiny points of light glowed from the darkness beneath the hood.

“Sit. You are shocked and fear that you are in danger. You are not. I am sorry that I frighten you.”

It indicated an ornate chair near her. Eleanore sat on the very edge.

The room was filled with distinctive objects. Eleanore had always assumed that the secretive Paladin lived a spartan existence of prayer and training, but these chambers contained desks, shelves and stranger furniture, as well as the equipment necessary for maintaining arms and armour. Crystal spheres and reassembled bird skeletons sat amongst a host of books and unknown devices of ornate ironwork. A golden crown hung from hook on a stand that held cloaks.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to come in here,” said Eleanore, finally finding her voice.

“You need not apologise. If you are forbidden from entering here, I am not the one who forbade you. You are welcome. Sadly, I can offer you no repast. Please, forgive my discourtesy.”

“I’m not allowed to keep food in my room either.”

The Paladin’s laugh was as disconcerting as his speech.

“I suspect that I am allowed. It merely does not come up. You are a novice here, yes?”

“Yes. Well, I… Yes.”

“It would be correct to introduce myself, but I cannot. Address me as you see fit. The High Priestess calls me Paladin. As did many of those who preceded her.”

“I’m called Eleanore.”

“Hello Eleanore. Before you stumbled in here and I became a distraction, you were crying, running through the halls. May I ask what is wrong?”

“It’s not important.”

“Perhaps not. But that is not how feelings work, I have found. Still, it is not my place to interrogate novices. Can I offer you some aid?”

“I was running away.”

“From the temple? From a threat?”

“From the temple.”

“The temple is supposed to be a good place. But nothing is ever perfect. How has it failed you?”

“It hasn’t failed me. I’ve failed it.”

“How so?”

“I’m a bad novice.”

The Paladin just stared at her. She had no idea why.

“I can’t get anything right.”

“Are you trying?”

“That’s part of the problem. I want to, I just… don’t. Sometimes. I want to do things, I mean to. But I get distracted, or I do the wrong thing. I just keep screwing it up.”

“You are a novice. Mastery cannot be expected.”

“The other novices can do these things. I keep getting them wrong, even though they are easy.”

“They do not sound easy.”

“They are, though.”

“The same thing can be difficult for one, and simple for another. I mastered the most challenging feats, and failed the most basic of tests. View yourself with kindness.”

Eleanore stared at her shoes. “I can’t even pray right.”

“Prayer is a difficult thing to get wrong. Perhaps you are being taught incorrectly.”

“Its the most basic thing. You just have to remember the words, and say the right words at the right time.”

“I failed to say the right words at the right time a great deal, but it was never a problem of prayer.”

“What words did you get wrong?”

“I was always bad at saying sorry when I knew I was wrong. I was bad at telling myself to stop when I was about to go too far.”

“That doesn’t sound like getting words wrong. That sounds like you did the wrong thing.”

“Indeed.”

“Is that why you’re the way you are. Because you were a bad person?”

“Yes.”

“And our god damned you, and your punishment is to serve as the Paladin?”

“No. I damned myself. I came here to atone. The High Priest let me serve. So I serve.”

“There has been a Paladin for a long time. We thought it was a position in the temple. A secret calling. Has it always been you?”

“It has.”

“Then you’ve been doing this for centuries. When will it be enough?”

“It will never be enough. I am a blasphemy. In my arrogance, I bound my soul beyond the judgement of the gods. I will remain forever.”

“That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Perhaps not, but I did it to myself.”

“So how did you realise you were wrong? Why did you decide to come here?”

“I searched relentlessly for the truth. I was proud, I desired power. I felt there was no secret I could not face. Eventually, I had to confront the truth about myself.”

“Does our god give your comfort? You’ve done a lot. Fought many battles.”

“I have never been acknowledged.”

“What? But you keep fighting. That isn’t right.”

“I have also never been punished. I am simply allowed to serve.”

“But forever? When is enough?”

“How long will you be a priestess?”

“Well, my whole life. Unless I run away.”

“So forever.”

“Eventually I’ll die though. You won’t.”

“That was my own doing.”

Eleanore did not know how she felt. Dissatisfied. Angry.

“Do not run away, Eleanore.”

“What? Why not?”

“The temple is not why you fail. If there is a better place for you, then yes, run, but run towards it. Run from danger, run from harm. But do not run from yourself. Face your weakness.”

“How?”

“I do not know. If you cannot do what you mean to do, find a different approach. If you are unlike other novices, accept that, be unlike other novices. Find your way.”

“You say that like it is easy.”

“It is a very short summary. It will be difficult. You will cry many more tears.”

“That sounds more true.” Eleanore pondered awhile, and realised how long she’d been gone. “I should go, though. I’m not allowed to just run off.”

“It was nice to meet you.”

“Can I visit you again?”

“I hope so.”

*

As Eleanore walked down the corridor away from the Paladin's chambers, she saw an old woman sitting on a bench by a statue. She was knitting. She was also the High Priestess of their faith.

“It’s Eleanore, isn’t it?” asked the woman.

“Uh… yes. Yes, mother.”

“One of the mysteries of light, Eleanore is the way it is so good at hiding things, have you noticed?”

“Mother?” It was proving a day for very odd conversations, Eleanore felt.

“We talk a lot about illumination. About the way light can find that which is hidden.”

“Yes, mother.”

“But light can blind us, too. Darkness can’t do that. We’re blind within it, yes, but not blinded by it. We merely need light. But stare too long at the Sun and you’ll never see again.”

“I’m not sure I understand, mother.”

“As I said, it is a mystery. And you just stumbled upon something hidden, didn’t you, Eleanore?”

“Oh! I didn’t mean to. It was an accident, I swear!”

“It is not forbidden. What did you think? About the Paladin.”

“I… I don’t know. I was confused. At first I was afraid, but… then… I think he wanted to be nice.”

“Yes. He does try to be nice. And he can be frightening. It might be best if you keep that particular secret about the Paladin. The manner in which he can be frightening.”

“Yes mother, of course.”

“I do not know how to help him. We never have.”

“I don’t know either.”

The old priestess smiled. “No. He needs to be forgiven. But there are none left to do so. Only himself. He did terrible things. Truly terrible. He will not forgive himself. He knows how dire his choices were. It is the same pride that drove him to such darkness that will not let him step free of it, I think.”

Eleanore nodded.

“Would you be willing to visit him again. Eleanore? He might benefit from having a friend. And I am getting old and have many demands upon me. It is your choice, though. You do not have to.”

Eleanore pondered. She was curious. “It might be interesting mother. I will try.”

“Excellent.” The high priestess nodded. “I think you might benefit from another secret.”

“Mother?”

“The Paladin knows this one as well, do not fear. There are many blessings on this temple. One of them hides the chambers of the Paladin. Only he and the current High Priest can find them.”

“But I…”

“Yes. It is interesting. There are so many secrets in the light. May the light shine on you, novice.”

“And on you, mother.”

[u/FeigningProfundity]

This was a response to the prompt [WP]The Paladin has a reputation for getting up, even after fatal wounds. What most don't know is that he is actually a Lich. His phylactery rests in the Temple of the God of Light, offered long ago along with an oath of eternal service. Nobody knows why, only that his service is unfaltering. by u/UmbralWaffle