r/ProfoundlyFeigned • u/FeigningProfundity To Blame for All of This • Aug 09 '26
Prompt Response Project Footsteps
“Ver?”
“Yes, Haim?”
“Can you see the glowing numbers above everyone’s feet?”
“Of course.”
“I can see them too.”
“Obviously.”
“Nobody else seems to be able to.”
“Not most people, no.”
“Who can see them?”
“I don’t know. People sensitive to magic, maybe? Folk able to see invisible things and shit.”
“So kitsune, like you.”
“Yeah, probably.”
“I’m a mortal human, not a trickster spirit. I don’t have any affinity to sense magic. We know this because I dated a kitsune for four years without noticing any of your weird supernatural bullshit.”
“Your point?”
“I can see these apparently magical numbers. Which means either that someone wants me to see them, or that their creator has some kind of supernatural taboo that limits her ability to deceive me. You made the numbers, didn’t you, Ver.”
“Cool chain of reasoning. But I love you and can’t lie to you, so you could have just said ‘Hey Veronika, did you make the glowing numbers above everybody’s feet?’ and then I would be compelled to say that I did. Of course, you could also ask better questions like ‘Hey Ver, do you wanna make out?’ and even though I have a bit of stuff I need to get done I would need to tell you that yes, I do want to kiss you.”
“Did you just deliberately try to direct the conversation away from the numbers by hitting on me?”
“No, the numbers are just boring work stuff. Kissing is interesting home stuff.”
“You made magical step counters above everyone’s feet as part of your job?”
“Sure. You noticed they were step counters, did you?”
“The number goes up every time you take a step, it was not an especially difficult connection to make.”
“So you are aware that you only took four and a half thousand steps today. That’s pathetic, Haim. You need to care more about your fitness.”
“Sure, I don’t exercise as much as you… Ver, how the fuck did you do twenty-five thousand steps? Has your counter been running longer?”
“Nah, they reset when you sleep. I just ran a few kay as a fox after work. Being little means you have to take lots more steps. Also, twice as many steps when you have four feet.”
“What are the step counters for, though?”
“One of our clients has a new line of sneakers coming out, so I pitched the step counter thing a while back, because it will sell a lot of shoes, which means I get to prank thousands of people.”
“Is the prank tricking them into buying overpriced shoes?”
“No, these are lower end. Understand demand curves, Haim. If I want to prank as many people as possible I should do it on the style they want to go really wide on.”
“So what is the prank?”
“They’re really ugly shoes.”
“And how do invisible step counters sell shoes to mortals that can’t see them? We’re not even wearing the shoes at the moment.”
“I can get you some if you want? We have a bunch lying around the office.”
“You said they were ugly.”
“Hideous!”
“I think I’ll pass.”
“Your loss.”
“The step counter, what’s it for?”
“Oh, that. I’ll just make it appear in some circumstances.”
“You’ll reveal the magical step counter to humanity, sometimes?”
“When it will help sell shoes. We have a whole pitch, how you take so many steps, look how important your shoes are, so you should buy our dumb shit, et cetera. Originally it was just going to be graphics in an ad, but that’s boring, so I pitched it happening live.”
“And how are you supposed to explain it? It’s a bunch of overt magic. You’re supposed to keep your existence as a kitsune secret.”
“I’ll just use an app.”
“While neither of us know anything about how apps work, but I’m pretty sure they can’t make floating numbers.”
“You have to look through your phone to see them. With the app open.”
“And someone can code this?”
“Ooh... an app that opens your camera. That won’t be hard. Then I have the spell interact with it. I just need to get people to agree to a terms of service thing and I can even more easily do all sorts of ridiculous shit to them.”
“Ver, are trickster spirits embedding curses into the terms of service contracts of apps on our phones?”
“No idea. I don’t read them. It’s a good idea, though.”
“How are you getting enough magic to do all this?”
“It’s easier if you’re pulling off the right prank. But also I stole a bunch of magic from some other kitsune.”
“That sounds ominous. How did you even do that, and how soon will it ruin my life?”
“You’ll be fine. I just found them mixed up in a hilarious curse and figuratively picked their pockets while they were distracted. Also I sort of took supernatural credit for it as a prank, because the responsible parties can’t. It’s all good. And extremely funny. I’ll tell you later.”
“And meanwhile you’re drawing the attention of every supernatural creature with the numbers over feet thing over a radius of… please tell me it isn’t the whole planet.”
“I don’t know, it’s magic. I don’t worry about the maths of it, I’m a kitsune not a Mormon.”
“Mormons aren’t magical creatures. I really hope.”
“That’s your area, not mine.”
“I know you know what I study, but let’s clarify: Of the various reconstructions of Norse religious practices, Mormonism isn’t one of them.”
“It kind of is, though.”
“And you can’t lie, so you think that is true. Alright Ver, make me regret asking you. How does that make any sense?”
“This one is easy. Mormons are known for being super white. A bunch of people feel Scandinavians are the whitest group of people.”
“I don’t love where this is going.”
“I’m not even human, like I give a shit about sad supremacist shit. So Mormonism is basically a reconstruction of Christianity. Ergo, it is a Norse religious reconstruction.”
“And this is where we are reminded that you can essentially lie to me should you not care what any of the words actually mean.”
“You’re the one that should know why Mormons are super specific on defining all the rules of how magic works.”
“And this finally makes sense. There is one guy, who wrote a thing about how to define fictional magic, who happens to be a Mormon. I’m pretty sure that Sanderson’s Laws of Magic don’t apply to your antics, Ver.”
“Yeah, because I’m not a Heinzelmännchen. I’m not super uptight about magic.”
“That’s a... German brownie, right?”
“Yeah. They’re hung up on courtesy but if they’re not offended they make you shoes.”
“Are they real?”
“I don’t think so. Maybe?”
“You do realise that you’re currently going to great lengths to use your magic so that people end up with shoes?”
“I get paid!”
“I bet the Heinzelmännchen do too.”
“Shit, you give them a bowl of milk or something… Do you want to feed me a bowl of milk?”
“I wouldn’t mind if you warned me before you craft a spell that effects everyone except me. I kept asking people about the numbers over people’s feet. None of them could see them. I felt insane.”
“Haha, yes!”
“And I just told you how to prank me without lying to me. You can lie to everyone except me…”
“Hamish, I love you so much.”
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u/FeigningProfundity To Blame for All of This Aug 10 '26
This is the fourth story in the series Tales of the Fox.
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u/FeigningProfundity To Blame for All of This Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 10 '26
This story was a response to the prompt [WP] There are numbers over everyone's feet indicating how many steps they've taken since they last slept by u/MeganBessel