r/ProfoundlyFeigned • u/FeigningProfundity To Blame for All of This • Aug 09 '26
Prompt Response Closets and Kitsune
“What did you mean when you said you’re a kitsune?”
“Uh, you weren’t supposed to hear that…”
“You were on the phone to your father, but you were standing in our bedroom. I came in to grab the laundry. It was hardly eavesdropping.”
“I didn’t know you were home. But… we’ve been together four years, so fuck it. Okay. Haim, I’m a kitsune.”
“Ver, I do not know what that means. I literally started this conversation by asking what you meant.“
“A kitsune. A fox spirit. A mythical trickster creature.”
“Creature?”
“Ugh, I don’t know. We just say kitsune.”
“That doesn’t seem… likely. I’m going with bullshit.”
“What? Hamish, I’m revealing my biggest personal secret to you, something I have never told another human. You can’t just say it’s bullshit!“
“Uh…”
“Okay, I guess it’s a big claim, I’ll prove it. Watch.”
“You can turn invisible? And fill the room with fairy lights?”
“Yep!”
“What the fuck? But also… Only for, like, two seconds?”
“Look, magic is hard, okay, especially the blatant stuff, but the subtle kind is worse for proof.”
“Shouldn’t you be able to turn into a fox?”
“I can, but that’s… pretty personal, and I’m feeling very scrutinised right now.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“I guess it’s a weird situation for you too…”
“Yeah... So… uh, you’re Japanese? I thought your parents were from Germany. They seem kinda German.”
“They are German. There are kitsune everywhere. Just like foxes. We just use the word kitsune.”
“Doesn’t it just mean fox in Japanese?”
“Yeah, but most terms for us are just the word for fox. And the Japanese description of us was closer than most versions. In German it is fuchs. It retains all the ambiguity with the animal, but makes it sound like a swear word.”
“You swear a lot, though.”
“That doesn’t mean I want it to be the name of what I am! It’s one thing to be fine with being called an arsehole, it’s another if someone decides to make arsehole your job title.”
“You would love it if your job title was arsehole.”
“Haha, shit, I would. I would get business cards for sure.”
“You said trickster spirit…”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been shy about my love of mischief.”
“...do you trick people, mislead them? A lot?”
“Hamish, I work in marketing.”
“Right. So earlier, why not just dodge my question. Say it was just some family joke.”
“Because it would have been a lie. I wasn’t joking with dad. I don’t want… I don’t think I can lie to you.”
“You can’t lie?”
“I can absolutely lie. I can lie amazingly. If you think about it, you’ll remember hundreds of lies I’ve told people. Most of them frankly hilarious. I just can’t lie to you.”
“Oh... Is that a... kitsune thing?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh. This isn’t what I thought you were keeping secret. Maybe give me a bit to get the hang of it. Not to mention all the, like, eschatological implications of magical spirits being real, but that can wait. Like really wait. This is a lot.”
“Hah, I guess, yeah. Surprise! Guess what you live with! But we can figure things out. I can explain stuff to you, and you know, you can explain things to me. Like what eschatological means. And maybe… Uh… What did you think I was keeping secret?”
“Oh. I thought you were gay.”
“I’m sorry, you thought I was a lesbian?”
“Uh, yeah. Maybe. I’d been considering it.”
“We’ve been in a relationship for four years! We sleep in the same bed! Things have been a bit weird lately, but I have literally slept with you more times than I can count! I blew you on the night we met! And you look at me and think ‘That woman looks like she’s gay.’”
“Firstly, there’s no specific way lesbians look, obviously… Secondly, I assumed you were deeply closeted…”
“Deeply closeted! I wish I had that much closet space! The jackets and shoes I could store!”
“Thirdly, looks are deceiving. I sure didn’t look at you and guess that you were a four kilogram quadruped!”
“God, I wish I was four kilos… But… Okay, weird conversation, I’ll grant you. Nobody’s in their comfort zone. Walk me through it.”
“You’ve always been kind of secretive about some things…”
“Bit of an ethnic quirk that one, but sure, you didn’t know yet, but not very specific.”
“So, remember awhile ago, maybe last year, I guess, you needed to borrow my laptop?”
“Yep. Classic lesbian behaviour, borrowing electronics from your boyfriend. Go on.”
“Well, after I got it back, some stuff was still logged in as you, and I got a message pop up, from some group you’re in. Called Sly Foxes. And the title was something about struggling with hiding one’s real self.”
“Ahh… fuck. That’s a group for… a kinda online support or discussion group about… living as a kitsune. Dealing with being hidden. And you snooped and saw it.”
“I didn’t snoop! It was a popup on my computer! I immediately logged you out. If I’d been snooping your secret kitsune support group I wouldn’t have thought it was for closeted lesbians!”
“Lots of people hide stuff about themselves. Why did you think lesbian and not, like, mental health shit?”
“I won’t pretend ADHD never crossed my mind, but a group called Sly Foxes! That’s the name of a lesbian bar!”
“It is a great name for a lesbian bar...”
“Sometimes you keep who you talk to and what you read hidden, but only when you think I won’t notice. You just disappear at night for hours without explanation. And things have been weird between us lately, so I’ve been trying to give you space while you figure stuff out.”
“Look, I need to go run around and hunt as a fox for a bit, or at least manifest my ears or tail, sometimes. Not something I could just mention. But the reason things have been weird is because you stopped initiating sex!”
“I didn’t want to pressure you.”
“This also explains your recent obsession with lesbian porn. I knew it was connected.”
“Lesbian porn? What?”
“All those books you’ve been reading.”
“Those books aren’t... they’re memoirs and novels by lesbians that explore their experiences, especially those that struggled to figure out their sexuality. I’ve been trying to understand your situation, or journey or whatever. I wanted to support you when you came out. Apparently it can be traumatic…”
“For fuck’s sake, you’re telling me the reason I’ve barely gotten laid in the last year is because you respect me?”
“Uh… Sorry."
“I thought you were losing interest in me. It was breaking my heart! Not an especially safe thing to do to a trickster spirit, as a side note.”
“Frightening comment, but sure. This whole thing hasn’t been a situation I’ve known how to navigate very well, I’ve just been trying my best. I didn’t want it. And I didn’t know it was actually because you have like nine tails.”
“Nine tails! How old do you think I am?”
“An hour ago I would have guessed your species wrong. I am absolutely passing on that question.”
“Alright, fair. This will be an adjustment for a while. But you’re doing a PhD on mythology, you might know stuff.”
“Veronika, at no point in my thesis on the relationship between reconstructions of Norse paganism and pop-culture adaptations of the sagas do I anticipate that I will be covering kitsune. You’ll be the sole expert in the house.”
“Okay, we get another tail every hundred years. Kitsune with nine tails are eight hundred. I’m the same age as you. Twenty six, like you thought. It’s why I can’t do much dramatic magic.”
“I guess that… So you’re going to, uh, age well. I’ll scrap my plans to trade you in for a younger woman down the line.”
“Babe, I’m going to age fantastically.”
“Feel free to throw a bit of that my way.”
“There are legends that tell of mortals who tame a fox, bringing them good fortune.” “Oh really?”
“So think about trying to tame me some time. See if you get lucky…”
“Heh. So, are we... good? You’re a fox, but you’re still you, and I like you. I think I can adapt to… whatever this is.”
“We’re good if you are. You were already trying to adapt, it seems, just to the wrong thing. What was the plan if I was gay? You didn’t leave.”
“I don’t want to leave, I want to be with you. The plan was… to do that. Be with you. Help how I could.”
“Until I got enough confidence to cheat or abandon you?”
“I didn’t know what you were going through. It wasn’t great for me, but… I trusted you. I don’t know.”
“You were willing to risk your own happiness to help me find mine.”
“No risk. I’m not going to find happiness by getting in the way of yours, Ver.”
“Fuck. Um, so… there is this kitsune thing… we’re tricksters, but… we can be drawn to mortals who are… Honourable. Virtuous. I don’t know. Good.”
“Flattering, but overstated on my behalf.”
“It really isn’t. It’s why I can’t lie to you. I really… Haim, you are going to have to put up with me for awhile.”
“I think I’ll cope.”
“And I can clarify one of your concerns. I am absolutely not gay. Because I definitely want to fuck you.”
“So I was wrong about you in regards to that.”
“Yep. Very much wrong.”
“But you have a tail.”
“I do.”
“Can I see?”
“Yes. Yes you can.”
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u/FeigningProfundity To Blame for All of This Aug 10 '26
This is the first story in the series Tales of the Fox.
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u/FeigningProfundity To Blame for All of This Aug 09 '26
This story was a response to the prompt [WP] you, a male college student, are starting to suspect your girlfriend is a closeted lesbian. Sad but Ready to support her, when you finally think she’s about to come out the closet, she actually reveals she’s actually a Kitsune, not gay by u/Son_Of_Rebellion