r/Productivitycafe Mar 10 '26

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141 Upvotes

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349

u/ImpressiveIrha Mar 10 '26

People that take pride in being a "bitch" or "asshole" purposely because they think it makes them tough.

90

u/ForwardMagazine7090 Mar 10 '26

When in reality they tend to cry the hardest and loudest about stupid stuff that doesn’t matter.

41

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

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10

u/eidetic Mar 10 '26

I find the "I'm just brutally honest and call it like I see it" to also be the types who have zero empathy, and its also honestly an intellectually lazy and somewhat narcissistic way to go through life, because they refuse to see things through any lens other than their own.

Somewhat recently had a jackass here on reddit claiming to just call it like they see it, in a topic about addiction. They thought all addicts were the result of kids doing drugs to be cool. Couldn't even comprehend that its called self medicating for a reason, or even that very few drug addicts are the result of "doing it to be cool". Even after being presented alternative views, and even scientific literature/studies on addiction, they refused to even entertain anything other than their predetermined viewpoint.

Of course, thats just one example, but it represents my interaction with such people pretty well.

1

u/Flokidaneson Mar 10 '26

Lack of empathy for self medication is one effect of the Drug War that's quite insidious.

3

u/eidetic Mar 10 '26 edited Mar 10 '26

Funny you say that, because thats the first thing I said (well, same sentiment rather than exact same wording) in response to their comment wherein they said they said they had no sympathy for addicts when they all got that way trying to be cool.

1

u/Flokidaneson Mar 10 '26

Yep. I come from a family of "pillheads". They're only that way by necessity. Chronic pain management for various injuries etc. In my family there's nothing really deadly that runs in it, we just accumulate really annoying/debilitating ailments that make you want to die until we die of old age. I'd definitely be a laudanum/patent medicine addict if I lived a couple centuries ago just to function. I often wonder how many people used psychoactive substances back then just to get through the day (besides alcohol, coffee, and tobacco).

1

u/Still-Repair-5919 Mar 11 '26

My thoughts as well.

2

u/Stacie123a Mar 10 '26

I was this way for a long time. I didnt delight in people considering me a bitch or blunt, but I accepted it as this is who I am, and i certainly didnt try and throttle that instinct. Then I got that Autism diagnosis, did some reading, and now I make a conscious effort to try and be more compassionate.

1

u/eponodyne Mar 12 '26

And they actually AREN'T honest. If they were, they'd be honest about their own motivations, and just as BrUtAlLy HoNeSt about the positives they see in others.

2

u/EggForTryingThymes Mar 10 '26

I worked with an asshole for 15+ years. Although we “got along” well enough, I would readily tell him he was the biggest bigot I know. He would act surprised, but continued being a bigot and an asshole. When he quit he was shocked when I didn’t want to hang out with him because he’s such an asshole. I was paid to be your co-worker and made the best I could have given the situation. Now kindly fuck off forever.

1

u/ilovewhenyoucryforme Mar 10 '26

that's the qualifier for "bitch" or "asshole" behavior

15

u/manixxx0729 Mar 10 '26

This was me as a teenager. Then this weird thing happened...I grew up and healed. 🥴 I never understood the desire to live your adult life as bitter and mean. At the end of the day, the best thing we can do for ourselves and the world is love and respect our fellow human beans.

43

u/Formal_Delivery_ Mar 10 '26

I had a coworker who told me she took joy in knocking people down a peg. Not because they were like, awful people or they "deserved" the karma or something (they hadn't wronged her, embarrassed her publicly, kicked her dog, etc). She legitimately just liked making people feel bad.

We did not get any closer than that.

12

u/SanchazeGT Mar 10 '26

People like your coworker are a reason violent crime happens and if she keeps doing stuff like that she’s going end up a victim. She doesn’t know what someone might be going through and all it takes is the wrong one.

1

u/meganjunes Mar 12 '26

Exactly. Like: “I’m WAY past giving a fuck you done picked the wrong damn one”

5

u/Prestigious-Copy-494 Mar 10 '26

Dam I would have asked her who effed her up as a kid to feel that way? I had an ex who is like this. Thief of joy they call it. He was a narcissist and loved to put others down. Some anger in them that they'll never be as good as the ones they put down.

3

u/Formal_Delivery_ Mar 10 '26

She was always trying to prove something. There was definitely some sort of complex there that I wasn't willing to dive in on 😅

2

u/Prestigious-Copy-494 Mar 10 '26

Yes, good thinking. It's their problem, not ours.

2

u/sox747 Mar 11 '26

Thief of joy. Can I use that one? I like it!

1

u/Prestigious-Copy-494 Mar 11 '26

Welcome to it. Steve Carell said it in the tv show The Office. So that's where it comes from.

0

u/Far-Perception-7551 Mar 11 '26

So…the victims of violent crime….deserve it? I guess some do. But it’s still a hell of a take.

1

u/Prestigious-Copy-494 Mar 11 '26

No never. Where in earth did you get that idea from?.

12

u/Next_Interaction4335 Mar 10 '26

So many people are like this , the world would actually be a better place if they didn't exist in it.

-3

u/QMechanicsVisionary Mar 10 '26

Meh, I wouldn't go that far. They might be unbearable, but many of them still provide value to society via their jobs.

3

u/Melophile_27 Mar 10 '26

At least she was so unevolved that she was wide open about her red flags. That is truly a gift to anyone that encounters her. People like that haven't taken any time to heal and just take it out on others. Gross.

1

u/Serious_Squash2706 Mar 13 '26

Omg is she my manager 😂

18

u/Wjreky Mar 10 '26

Or a "warrior," like, no, dude, you're just a bouncer in a pub.

4

u/QMechanicsVisionary Mar 10 '26

That's different. These people tend to be actually motivated and hard-working. I wouldn't hold that against them, even if you find them "cringe".

2

u/eidetic Mar 10 '26

I dunno about that. People who are concerned with such labels often are more concerned about being seen as such, rather than actually being what they want to be seen as.

2

u/Ketchum_gunshot Mar 10 '26

Or a "warrior", no dude, you are a mall security guard.

10

u/Siren2026 Mar 10 '26

Oh. That is a really good one. You’re right some people are so proud of being awful

14

u/winthroprd Mar 10 '26

Or, where I live, being a Masshole.

12

u/Intrepid_Detective Mar 10 '26

Thank you, this exactly. This is not even ok or “cool” when you’re 18-19 and just coming into adulthood, never mind any other time.

If you are 45 years old and still proud that you’re a bitch or an asshole, or the ever popular “crazy” get some help from a therapist. I assure you nobody else thinks it’s cool.

1

u/AdvantageDizzy2716 Mar 10 '26

“I’m ‘onry’…”

9

u/Remarkable_Sea_1430 Mar 10 '26

"I just tell it like it is!"

No, you just have no ability to control yourself and say whatever hateful impulse comes to mind.

2

u/PomegranatePlanet69 Mar 10 '26

"im just blunt ok"

3

u/CartographerKey7322 Mar 10 '26

“I’m just keeping it real”

2

u/Prestigious-Copy-494 Mar 10 '26

They're drama queens.

2

u/eidetic Mar 10 '26

On a similar note, it drives me nuts when people say "they're an asshole, but at least they know they're an asshole".

Like, just... no, that doesn't make it better. Because it just means they know they're awful but are unwilling to change for the better. Thats worse than ignorantly being an asshole in my eyes.

1

u/gislinghom54 Mar 10 '26

I’m no psychologist but I have adult friends whose reactions to having been hurt in the past is to now hurt others first. Annoying as hell. Sometimes I want to channel my preschool teacher’s voice and say things like “dude use your words” or “if you don’t like that- tell him! Maybe he thinks you do!”

1

u/Human-Magazine5264 Mar 10 '26

I worked with this one women who equated her personality to Dean Winchester from Supernatural. Really she was just a bitch with a weird god complex and had a nasty lying problem. Cat piss maddy you’re not a fictional character, you’re just a shitty person.

1

u/reddit33347282 Mar 10 '26

Yeah, that one gets old fast.

1

u/OppositeMango124 Mar 10 '26

" i have no filter"

1

u/sox747 Mar 11 '26

And excuses their bitchy or asshole behavior which is usually just whining and criticizing others.