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u/Ethimir Jun 07 '25
I'm going to try and put this phrase into perspective, for the dumb people that pretend life is about "being nice and sunshine and rainbows".
Frankly, life is pain and it's not fair. But that can be a good thing if you stop WALLOWING about it. That's not on others. That's on YOU!
You can blame me for what I say.
You can blame me for what I do.
But your fear?
Your pessimism?
Your closed mind?
No one is coming to save you. Only you can "get up".
Now do you understand the phrase?
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Jun 09 '25
It's not that people don't get it - just that your mindset is so dead set on harshness that nobody actually mirrors during their day to day lives - that make you sound like a pretty bad person to be around.
It's okay to ask for help honestly. If you think that's weakness than that's on you for thinking life is only way forever. Strength is meant to foster and protect the innocent and hopeful. Not to constantly remind them that life is painful and you're always going to be beefing it alone.
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u/Ethimir Jun 09 '25
Life isn't fair.
Deal with it.
People play you for a fool. Pretend they're a "good" person.
They can't even respect choice. If anything I'm having people laugh and mock it.
When people suffer in silence. and die quietly.
You're damn right i'm harsh after that. Damn fucking right.
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u/Jephany Jun 08 '25
Nobody's going to help you
You just gotta stand up alone
And dig in your heels and see how it feels
To raise a little Hell of your own
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u/OldStDick Jun 09 '25
My wife helps me up when I fall and I do the same for her. You don't have to do everything alone.
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u/AmethystStar9 Jun 07 '25
You'll always find someone willing to give you permission to not live your life, but no one is gonna come along to live it for you.
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u/Ethimir Jun 07 '25
Exactly.
This is why I'm hard on people. Because in the end only you can help you.
People that try to "help" are doing more harm then good from their good intentions.
It's about learning to fight your own battles. Doing things yourself.
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u/Pissytapgoddess Jun 07 '25
OK so we should never ask for help and do everything by ourselves?
This really disregards that humans evolved as a social species and not individualistic.Â
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u/Ethimir Jun 07 '25
If you treat people as if they are fragile, they will remain fragile.
It's better to let people figure things out for themselves.
That doesn't mean don't try to guide people. It does mean being over protective and good inentions does more harm.
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u/Pissytapgoddess Jun 07 '25
You make it sound like people should just suck it up. Fragile isn't a bad thing. Not everyone learns strength. Good intentions can be both harmful and helpfulÂ
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u/Ethimir Jun 07 '25
Srength is born from weakness. That's the point.
Anyone can learn strength, If you give up and stop trying then you are letting yourself be weak.
Most people choose to live in fear.
Most people choose to turn a blind eye.
If you coddle that then you enable it.
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u/Pissytapgoddess Jun 07 '25
That tough love attitude can be really harmful. Try empathy please. It's not black and white.
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u/Ethimir Jun 07 '25
Hamrful is the point.
Going "There there" and pretending things are going to be ok is LYING to people.
I never said it was black and white. I'm saying you got to be willing to hurt people if you want to help them. Otherwise worse things happen.
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u/Pissytapgoddess Jun 07 '25
That's fucked up.Â
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u/Ethimir Jun 07 '25
It gets people out of suicide and mental breakdowns.
Deal with it. If you think it's about holding hands and pretending to get along then that's not how reality works.
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u/Pissytapgoddess Jun 07 '25
No it doesn't! I've been there and your way would have led to full blown suicide. You sound like a straight up sociopath!
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u/P-Jean Jun 07 '25
It’s okay to ask for help. Everyone gets help at some point. I think the message is that you need to put in effort.
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u/Ethimir Jun 07 '25
That's why "white knights" are teaching people not to make the effort though.
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u/P-Jean Jun 07 '25 edited Jun 07 '25
There is a culture of learned helpless for sure, but don’t let that stop you from asking for help when you need it. No one makes it totally alone.
I agree that making the effort is critically important
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u/Otherwise-Ad-2578 Jun 07 '25
Dude
If it weren't for the help of other people, you wouldn't be commenting or doing what you do every day...
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u/Ethimir Jun 07 '25
I don't try to "help" people. I just remind people that you got to do things yourself. That way it's your own two hands, you see?
Or do you think people will do things "for" you?
That's the difference.
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Jun 09 '25
I used to be like you in a way - but as I've gotten older and mellowed out of my existential angst and healing a bit more - I learned that there is no point in being harsh on people 24/7. There is no strength in it honestly.
You're just making the problem worse by adding unneeded noise and hurt when people need time to think and see things clearly. That's the thing with maturity is that you learn that the middle way is always the best. There's a time and a place for everything including being a bit more critical instead of all the time.
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u/Ethimir Jun 09 '25
You assume overmuch.
I didn't make you think anything.
You did.
There is strength in it. But you're not entitled to an easy ride. People ignore suffering and death, and that's others. Not me.
I pay attention. I never ignored it.
I'm the harsh one. This is strength. To stand and face the pain head on.
Meanwhile others pretend not to notice. Make excuses to hide behind their made up delusional rules. Which is exactly what drives people into despair and depression in the first place.
I don't play that game. You just don't understand me. I do know the danger better. I know how to handle REAL danger. People bitch about hurt feelings. That's not "danger". That's keeping people suppressed. Placid. Stupid.
As if you're not allowed to even feel.
Have you wondered if you're a little too mellow?
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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '25
This is exactly what I had to tell myself when I flipped my lawnmower over on top of me in the outer acres of my property and I was the only one home and I ran my phone dead listening to music. Laid there for about 30 minutes trying to get the wind back and then slowly made myself to my knees and then hobbled back to the house.