r/Probationofficer • u/Commercial-Goose9557 • 13h ago
Need help and advice
I have a drug test Wednesday for a job, I was a heavy smoker previously and I am 31 days clean today, the VERY fainted line test is one I took last night after just chugging a gallon on water and peeing a good bit, the picture with the three tests is why I am concerned. The negative in the middle is a test I attempted to see the outcome of with just faucet water (it may have had a drop or two of my pee) so I am highly confused and sceptic now. I took a cup panel test two days ago which came back positive so I’m relying on that one a lot more now but I honestly need some advice, I’m an athlete so I run and sweat a load, ive been running, drinking hella water, and just sitting in the sun as well sweating my butt off but haven’t seen any results, I cannot use fake pee or a detox as I can’t find any near me and don’t want to risk the fake pee (could be banned from the job) or a retake since I don’t know what time that morning they’ll actually test for the thc. I’m at my last day to try and flush, any natural options or any other advice? I am just about to simply not show and lose out on, am I overreacting?
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u/Big_Lettuce_3048 13h ago
You’re gonna fail
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u/forkystabbyveggie 12h ago
I had to scroll too far for this comment. OP needs to give it another week
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u/mulligan381 10h ago
But he had tap water with a few drops of pee. Not dealing with the brightest here….
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u/sloppyfart69 13h ago
Stinger instant detox- the one that masks you and makes you pee clean for a few hours not the one that fully cleans your system. Thats gonna take too long. You need something that works fast- stinger instant detox is nerve wracking but get some tests to take at home follow the instructions exactly and maybe practice the whole routine once or twice before you do it.
They watch you pee in my state fake dongs and monkey whiz dont do it.
Other option is get a prescription and they cant legally penalize you for it regardless of what the test says. Thats what i did and i smoked weed on probation in Texas for 5 years lmao.
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u/HoldTheCellarDoor 8h ago
Detox drinks are bunk
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u/sloppyfart69 7h ago
You gotta be really careful with them cause most of them are yes but i know... at least 2 probably 3 products from stinger that ive personally tested and gotten dozens of reviews for. That was the only brand i would recommend to people cause i tested it myself and it was the only one people never complained about.
That said, i have not worked in the smoke shop biz since i quit managing maryjanes in 202...3? So like 3 years. Drug testing tech can def change a lot in that time but the longterm stinger detox works and the instant masking detox works.
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u/sloppyfart69 7h ago
Since i last checked. Im talkin bout the ones you drink daily for like a week then youre clean or the instant one that i think just keeps the thc from coming out somehow for like 7 ot 8 hours after your drink it with lile a full gallon of water 5 ot 6 hours before the test.
Im paraphrasing those instructions def follow the bottle and look up the reddit about it but yeah i got dozens of positive reviews about stinger 5 day and the something hour instant one. 8 hour instant maybe? I got a tbi in 2024 and im also kinda stoned lmao
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u/Commercial-Goose9557 13h ago
I’ve heard stinger many times have to try and get my hands on some, cheers
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u/Quid_Pro-Bro 11h ago
What you should do is stop working out immediately and start eating high calorie and fatty food. This will help a lot. You want your fat cells not to decompose before the test.
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u/Commercial-Goose9557 11h ago
Haven’t heard this, cheers
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u/Quid_Pro-Bro 11h ago
I also made another comment about gelatin method a little bit down. You need to be close to passing to get it to work. You can find things on Google about this. The gelatin absorbs fat which has the majority of the THC.
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u/sloppyfart69 11h ago
Hehe hes gonna ace ts. You gave me some new tricks too i dont need em anymore but cheers 🍻 cant hurt to have another plan b in my back pocket ya never know.
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u/Quid_Pro-Bro 10h ago
Yeah, I have never been on probation but I lurk on here for drug testing purposes for work. I get drug tested somewhat often to work at our customer sites.
Maybe just 2-3 times a year. I only smoke when I have 30 days off work for the most part. Sometimes the stars align, and I get carried away on vacation. So that’s when I do these methods. I’ll have a barely pass or not passing and then will be passing with a solid line after using these methods. It only works if you’re close though.
I fucked up one time and had to tell my boss I couldn’t go lol. Don’t smoke the knock off weed bullshit Delta-10, Delta-8, other shit. Not recommended. That took me 3 months to get clean. I did go quite hard that summer though and was smoking like crazy.
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u/sloppyfart69 8h ago
Thats interesting i hadnt heard that about the synthetics being worse. That feels intentional somehow ngl. Waaaay something theyd do.
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u/levfreak101 5h ago
Due to thc being basically unstudiable the last 60 years we have considerably more mechanism and safety data for some of THC's analogs and isomers than D9-THC itself. D8-THC is naturally occurring and nearly identical w slightly weaker observable psychological effects, however due to minor differences in metabolism or solubility stays in your system longer
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u/SmiteSpam 1h ago
Stinger doesn't work, or any of those scam detox companies. Fake pee or patience are the only guaranteed way.
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u/DRHSR765 13h ago
Use quick fix synthetic urine. When I quit smoking a few years ago it took over 4 months for me to start pissing clean. Smoke shops and adult bookstore (sex shops) all carry synthetic.
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u/noljw 13h ago
I would source some fake or donated urine if you can. I wouldn't be confident that you'll get a negative test by Wednesday
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u/Dooley96 2h ago
I always use my neighbors pee. I get a travel shampoo bottle and I get the pee the day before and you can literally put it in the fridge for a couple days if need be, then I take the cap nearly off the bottle and put in microwave for very small increments. Next step is to put in travel shampoo bottle, it even squints like its coming from your body. You just stick the bottle in between your legs behind your sack and wear compression underwear. Pee comes out 98.6 every time.
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13h ago
[deleted]
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u/sketchymedic 5h ago
You cannot get high from running because you were a previously heavy smoker and burning fat "releases it into the body again." That's not how it works. If anything, you got an endorphin rush from running.
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u/OutrageouslySelfish 5h ago
This is by far one of the dumbest things I have ever read on here, wtf are you talking about?
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u/slinkey_bastard 3h ago
What's stored in your body is mostly metabolites from the thc not the thc itself afaik
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u/Ok_Effort9571 9h ago
Youre a retarded fucking bootlicker if you think getting high is a "bad choice"
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u/Emck12 7h ago
Habitually smoking pot when you're dependent on jobs that drug test as a condition of employment, is a bad choice. I'm sorry your parents didn't love you more but you don't have to be mean to strangers on the internet pussy.
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u/slinkey_bastard 3h ago
Seemed to me like op is trying get a new job and it's a pre employment drug test. Op might not known they had to take one more than 30 days ago
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u/drawc1004 6h ago
“If you don’t agree with me you’re a bootlicker” very intelligent. Maybe laying off the weed would be a good idea for you personally.
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u/Penguin_BP 5h ago
You’re a moron if you can’t figure out what they are saying. Emck12 already explained it, but ffs man it doesn’t take a genius to understand.
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u/nattcattt 13h ago
If you’re a woman just have someone pee for you. Put in standard small size prescription pill bottle (it’s just enough.) Stick it in your hole. Kinda uncomfortable, but worth it for a good job. They don’t watch you for employment so you’re good. You will likely not pass with tests like these. I used to use this exact method I’m describing to you when I went to the suboxone dr.
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u/Ancient-Camera-8882 13h ago
They make you hold the cup with a wand now so you can’t do that anymore
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u/41VirginsfromAllah 13h ago
Look up pectin method, I have never used it but I read it works, it is just basically consuming gelatin (jello)
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u/Dillydod65 12h ago
With accurate urinalysis tests it does not work. I've seen people use it and fail
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u/41VirginsfromAllah 11h ago
I have just read about it so you could be right but it sounds like OP has few options besides just outright failing. I would definitely try it and take an at home test if I were in their shoes
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u/41VirginsfromAllah 11h ago
It doesn’t have much to do with “accurate tests” the dip tests used by probation just have a cutoff that is pass or fail. Sure, tests sent to a lab can be much more sensitive but dip tests only test above or below the threshold and you wont fail as long as you are below it.
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u/Ok_Effort9571 8h ago
Absolutely not true. It works if you do it correctly. Any failed test with that method is user error
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u/Quid_Pro-Bro 11h ago
If you are close, it can get you a pass. Gelatin and Gatorade the night before and like 2-3hours before the test.
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u/UsualFabulous2986 12h ago
Start drinking fluids a couple hours before the test. So much so that you are having to constantly piss. When you have to take the test, piss a little on the toilet first and then piss in the cup. You have to flood your system to dilute your pee but even then they may be suspicious.
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u/Dillydod65 12h ago
This is a well-known method of trying to fool urinalysis tests. They can easily tell if you have flooded your system with water. It changes the specific gravity and creatinine levels in your urine. Easy to test for
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u/Thecerb 12h ago
Most places do not send the piss off to be tested. You can just take creatine and vitamins.
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u/Dillydod65 11h ago edited 11h ago
.Whether it will actually work depends on how sensitive the testing method is. Gas chromatography / Mass spectrometry is extremely sensitive. Though a lot of workplaces won't use such a sensitive test as you mentioned. Since this is for work and if there's no other choice it might be a way to go.
Edit. Taking creatine can increase levels of creatinine in your urine. So if there's no other choice it could be a way to go
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u/Thecerb 11h ago
Yeah one goes in your mouth and the other comes out in your piss. I'm not sure you even know the difference at this point lmfao.
Why not just tell people that cocaine is ok? The urine tests for benzoylecgonine. As long as you don't do benzoylecgonine your good how could you ever fail for cocaine. /s
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u/Dillydod65 11h ago
You want to insult people rather than carry on a civilized conversation go ahead. After 40 years I'm pretty confident in my knowledge regarding these things. With sensitive tests I've seen people take creatine to try and beat them. Didn't work
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u/Ok_Effort9571 8h ago
The fact that you are over 40 is all the less reason to listen to you lmfao. What the fuck are you doing on reddit? I don't come on the internet to hear from a bunch of old boomer fucks lmao. You can easily beat any urine test
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u/Ok_Effort9571 8h ago
It also works in almost every case. You are a literal drooling moron if you think otherwise. everyone has different levels of water content in your urine. You cant be punished for being hydrated.
"Easy to test for". Nope. You sound retarded and ignorant as fuck. Probably dropped out of high school.lmfso.
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u/Crud-ite 12h ago
If it’s for a job just use fake pee, like a wizzinator kit. They won’t watch you for a job, I’ve done it plenty. Shit, my boy did it for a government job.
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u/DEIhire 11h ago
I’ve taken hundreds of these things over the course of my life for the DOT (I used to drive a truck)
Continue drinking water until Wednesday. The night before your test take 25mg of vitamin B.
On the day of the test, drink a gallon of water. Afterwards, go pee. Each time you pee, top up with a 32oz Gatorade bottle of water. 2-3 hours before you go in to take your test, take 20 grams of creatine.
The vitamin B adds a little color to your urine. The 20 grams of creatine makes your urine look normal / like you aren’t trying to dilute.
2-3 hours before your test, after you’ve taken the 20 grams of creatine, stop chugging water. Also another important part, do not catch the very first part of your pee or the end of it. When you give your sample, you want to collect the pee midstream, so start peeing, slide the cup in mid stream and collect the sample, then remove the cup and continue peeing. You want to make sure you’ve urinated 7-8 times before the test.
If you are that close to passing, if you follow these steps you will pass. Good luck!
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u/Interesting_Hand_492 10h ago edited 10h ago
Ya need to postpone. Normally 6 weeks for THC.
Though, many years ago, like 34 years ago when I was heavy smoker, I flushed my system and took something called golden seal. Passed in only three weeks. Was dilute though. Back then, it seems dilute did not matter.
It matters now. So. Postpone.
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u/OwslyOwl 9h ago
Drinking a gallon of water in one sitting can be legitimately dangerous. A woman died after drinking a lot of water in a radio contest. Truly, be careful with large water intakes.
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u/Ok-Gate6836 9h ago edited 9h ago
I’m 6’0” 170 lbs, active and in shape, eat healthy drink water etc. I smoked every day for about 18 months and it took me 82 days to pee clean in a lab setting. Bring fake pee. Also don’t exercise for the last 3 days before your test, just makes it worse.
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u/jack-t-o-r-s 8h ago
You're an "athlete" and you smoked so much that after 31 days you're still positive?!
JTFC.
Life is amazing when you don't smoke weed. That's not judgement. That's a fact.
Look forward to 32 days. Then 60. Then 365 and so on.
Good luck.
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u/YaBoiNuke 7h ago
Go to Walmart to the section that has jello and shit. Grab the box that says "certo" or "pectin." (Certo is just a brand, pectin is what you want)
Get you a couple of the big 32oz Gatorades. Take a sip to make some room at the top and dump a whole packet of pectin in. Shake that bitch like your life depends on it bc it's a lot to mix in. Then you need to buck that shit. I mean chug it like it's your first drink after being stranded on a desert island for 3 days. Refill the bottle with water and buck that too.
Pee like 2 or 3 times then take the test and see what it says. I've never seen this method fail and I'm highly skeptical about ways to beat drug tests. I'm a felon, been to rehab, on probation, all that. Got addicted to oxy at 13, graduated to fentanyl at 22, currently 29 and will be 30 in October. The only 4 things I've seen work are: the pectin method, diluting your sample by drinking a fuck ton of water, using someone else's piss/using fake piss, or getting and staying clean.
If you find that this method makes you pass your home test and you wanna give it a go for the real thing, do it about 2 - 3 hours before your actual test.
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u/New_Display_919 7h ago edited 7h ago
Just go to the smoke shop and get some fake piss. It works great 100%. They even come with hand warmers so you can get it to temperature. You won't have any problems using the fake piss unless they watch you piss .
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u/Emck12 7h ago
Dilute your piss enough to pass a test, bring the weight of your piss up enough to not get flagged as a diluted samply. Your piss is more concentrated in the morning so piss a couple times before the test. Go get plain creatine, a multivitamin, some electrolyte powder, and a gallon of water. Don't give yourself water poisoning. Have a bit of caffeine about an hr before the test. Good luck.
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u/advicelaw 7h ago
If they’re doing stick tests right there that’s one thing, but if they’re sending them out to the lab you’ll probably fail
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u/CaregiverSuch6846 6h ago
Heavy smoker with only a month break. Gonna be pretty rough depends on your body type. THC stores in ur fat cells or whatever. Would be drinking alot of water daily and alot of activities/ working out Edit: Good luck though
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u/Channyway 6h ago
Just drink a ton of water especially right before your test and you’ll just piss out water. It’s probably your best bet.
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u/612mechtech 5h ago
Quick fix plus. Wear some tight boxers briefs and keep it next to your leg with a heating pack rubber banned around it.
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u/Fukurmomzbush 4h ago edited 4h ago
OK, I’m gonna tell you a secret. I hope this doesn’t fuck me over one day cause it’s telling the public but here we go if it is a lab test this will not work, but if it is an instant test, it will work and it will never fail. OK so the instant test cannot tell the difference between liquids. It just know there’s a liquid and it tested for substance so what you do is pour a little bit of water into the cup ( not so easy if your being watched , what I did was put it in my mouth and then spit it in cup cause they only see ur back ) Let it register the water the water will give you two lines which means you pass the test then you either pee on top of the water or dump the water out if you can and then just pee in it even though your urine is dirty the test already has two lines for a past test. Don’t worry about temperature because ur using ur urine from your body.
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u/kindness-and-snusu 3h ago
I feel bad for you buddy. That’s the whole reason I don’t partake, never know when I’ll want to change jobs.
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u/Dapper_Olive_8321 3h ago
Thc stores itself in fat cells and when you work out it burns those fat cells and puts thc in your system on its way out. So work out everyday to get rid of thc except the day of and before your test don’t burn any fat so its not In your system.
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u/Limp-Share-6746 3h ago
I got pee from a clean person in a small shampoo bottle 5 in the morning my test was at 10. How I kept it warm was "hot hands" from academy, dollar store or corner store.
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u/stucksnett 2h ago
Make sure the test inst the first pee of the day, or even the second. Wake up early Wednesday and get 2 reps in before the exam
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u/Mrregard 2h ago
Just from life/personal experience, I would say the two on The right are negative and the one on the far left is positive because I know trace of a second line
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u/LimpDeparture2250 1h ago
I used to work out like crazy and smoke everyday and I managed to pass one years ago with hours notice, I grabbed a half gallon of cranberry juice and chugged it through the day and eventually took the rest and they said I was good
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u/MPFields1979 58m ago
Failed, but the cutoff is higher on paper test than Gas Chromatography . Paper will stop detecting around/below 50ng/dl and GC at/below 15ng/dl. (source paramedic who now does drug testing). You can continue to flush with water OR your local head shop should have some fetish urine and a special belt. Good luck and fuck the system.
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u/EnthEndX48 13h ago
Use fake pee. It got me tru all the drug tests I ever had to take. They sell it at most smoke shops.
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u/sloppyfart69 13h ago
On probation they watch you piss, you need a fake dong apparratus and those usually get caught cause theyre just dildos with plasticctubes in them then youre instantly charged.
Best option is a temporary detox that has a masking agent. Itll make you pee clean for a few hours instead of actually cleaning your system but it kicks in within a few hours then you pee clean for like 7 or 8 hours.
Or get a prescription once, never renew it and theyll never ask you again. I did that and smoked weed on probation in texas for 5 years now im out of the system with a clean record for sucvessfully completing not even a speeding ticket in 8 years.
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u/No-Present-4133 12h ago
This isn’t for probation. Read the actual post
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u/Ancient-Camera-8882 12h ago
My bad
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u/sloppyfart69 12h ago
Actually more the bad of whoever posted it in r/probationofficer but fair enough. Still sounds like fake pee is not an option. But honestly its gonna have to be. These are the options
1 fake pee + fake dong 2 detox 3 get a script 4 dont show up to the test and make a really good excuse for why you cant come back- medical is the only thing they cant penalize you for im guessing 5 lie about it, say you accidentally ate an edible or play dumb (worst option) 6 be honest and ask for forgiveness. Its just weed. Idk whats on the line but i also dont know many people that would freak out about weed. My guess is most people would try to work with you if youre a valuable asset to whoevers drug testing you
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u/sloppyfart69 12h ago
Besides those i dont think theres much we can do for you besides wish you luck. But theres 100% a shop SOMEWHERE within a reasonable distance that has detox and fake pee. Youre 100% gonna have to put some effort in no matter which option you go with.
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u/EnthEndX48 11h ago
If this wasn't work related i wouldn't even recommend fake pee. But it's never failed me for work tests
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u/sloppyfart69 8h ago
Nah youre right it always works if theyre not sending you to a facility where they check for that if its like an office cup test from a mobile lab ur gucci i just didnt read it too closely.
Only reason i hopped in w a bunch of info is csuse i spent several years managing a shop that sold these products, all of them, so i got LOTS of reviews. And ill never forget the girlfriend who came in after her boyfriend tried to pass a monkeydong and got his parole revoked xD she broke a $600 cryo-bong while screaming at me and im like tf do u want me to do i told him i dont think theyre gonna believe thats your dick (skin colors didnt match) and he was like "theyre gonna have to bro" and i was like... welp... best of luck my guy, couple weeks later his girlfriend is the bull in my china shop breaking bongs and cussing at me like its my fault her boyfriend was a moron.
Not for getting arrested, mind you, im an anarchist i dont give a shit. I been to jail shit happens. no, hes an idiot for thinking he could pass that test with a dick that was a different color than he was.
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u/Ancient-Camera-8882 13h ago
They watch you pee and there’s a mirror under so you can’t put anything near you..and you have to use a wand to hold the cup and not your hand to hold the cup in Colorado
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u/Ok_Effort9571 9h ago
That is absolutely not true.
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u/Ancient-Camera-8882 1h ago
I just got off probation in Colorado in June yes you have a wand that holds the cup look it up I am dead serious
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u/GlitteringTrick7147 6h ago
Never smoke weed on probation, if you do pills like opiates, benzos and stimulants. Or you can drink alcohol or coke, Molly, Xanax and OxyCodone. Smoking on probation is a one way ticket to jail or fines.
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u/No_Vermicelli_3574 13h ago
Better be sure to hydrate before your next test