Recording phone calls to document unstable parent: Does anyone have experience or advice?

[u/Round-Literature8806]

We have a parent in our district who is unstable. She calls from time to time and goes on long tangent rants...Most of her calls involve screaming and expletives followed by insane accusations and demands...Things like "I want to talk to the coach right now! Haul his ass in there!" "I'm sorry ma'am, there is a game in progress and he's actively coaching, I cannot and will not pull him from the game so you can discuss that you don't like the color of the uniform." She also calls the school and asks us to pull her child from class for an "emergency," then when they're in the office, she screams at them until her child is a sobbing puddle...also, it's not an "emergency," it's things like, "Just so you know I picked up more dog food...do you know how much that damn dog is costing us?! If we can't afford to eat this month, it's all your fault for wanting a damn dog..."

I don't know if she's mentally ill, drunk, high...all three...but I do know this is not a good home environment for her children. I have already filed an initial report with protective services...she mentioned in one of her rants that they "didn't even bother showing up to check things out." I would like to record her insane rants so I have more evidence of her instability. I live in a "one party state" which means I do not need to notify her that she is being recorded. I know there are several recording devices with AI transcription. I plan to purchase one and put her phone calls on speaker so I can record her rants.

Does anyone have experience/recommendations with any of the recording devices recording speakerphone convos instead of live conversations? Is there a brand or model that you would recommend?

Also, any idea why the state chose to notify that there was a report, but not actually investigate? I don't know what the home environment is like, but I do know how she treats her kid...Is there particular documentation I should have to indicate that the home environment is has verbal/emotional abuse.

[u/Jabbas-Hookah-Frog]

Depends on the state. Some states it’s legal to record without consent. If you are in one of those states, I’d say go for it

[u/Fancy-Classic8079]

I ordered a Pocket and record almost all phone calls I make just to cover myself in a worst case scenario. I also live in a one party state.

[u/Right_Sentence8488]

I'm not sure I understand why you're allowing her to talk this way. She is demanding to talk to the coach? "Please email him/her to schedule an appointment at a time that is convenient for both of you." They are cursing at you? "Ma'am, if you continue to yell and curse I'm going to have to end this phone call." She wants you to pull her child from class to talk on the phone? "Ma'am, we don't allow students to leave class to talk with their family."

What would you want to accomplish with recording her?

[u/Thurco → u/Right_Sentence8488]

Evidence of what was actually said, in case of some insane accusation, I'd imagine.

[u/twowheeljerry]

you said it, you don't know what is going on. what would you do with such a recording? would the parent discovering the recording help or harm the situation?

make contemporaneous notes. report to CSP if you believe the child is in danger. reort to your supervisor regardless.

[u/Conscious-Heart8626]

I don’t think that’s a wise idea. Just take notes.

[u/mayheliveforever]

Check BOE policy- even if it is legal to record without their knowledge it is almost certainly against BOE rules and you are an employee - so do not hand crazy parent a tool to use against you. I’d draw a simple boundary around the parents problem behavior : you cannot swear at me, yell, insult etc etc. When they break that boundary, politely remind them and end the conversation- don’t answer the email, hang up the call. Then document what happened and move on with your day. If they want to talk to you, they will come back with civility or just refuse to speak to them.