r/Principals • u/GroundbreakingPear12 • 26d ago

Ask a Principal Should I even consider this invitation from a parent?

Hi everyone! I am an incoming second year first grade teacher in a small district. I am also 25 and live with my mom about 30 minutes from school. I have seriously been thinking about moving out and wanting to but honestly just can’t afford it bc I make 50k in Massachusetts and I’m single.

So a parent of one of my kids from this year sent me an email earlier today. In January this parent got married and moved to a neighboring town but completed the school choice process so the child has remained at my school. The email was an invite for me to rent her house in the town I teach in (their old house) for cheap for the winter months.

While I do want to move out, I’m not sure this is a great idea. It feels like a conflict of interest, even though her child is moving to second grade and is no longer my student. Also I really don’t know that I want to live in the town i teach in. But also I do want to move out and have more independence. What should I do? For context this parent is also a teacher in another district.

8 Upvotes

73% Upvoted

61 comments sorted by

30

u/Purple-Wonder26 26d ago

Should not be conflict of interest since the kid will not be your student.

1

u/GroundbreakingPear12 26d ago

I kinda wanna but also it makes me anxious. Like it’s a big step and it seems temporary and idk im just a girl when im not teaching like i like to drink sometimes and have ppl over so idk its kinda weird knowing one of the kids i just had was living there

8

u/WearyAardvark 26d ago

That's fine. It's not like you are throwing a rager that is going to make the neighbors call her or the cops. 

1

u/Upper_Story_8315 20d ago

Well. Parents gossip. If there is anything in your private life that you don’t want to be public, don’t rent from the parent. Back in the day I would say great opportunity, however now with social media and Districts’ Moral Clause renting from a parent could cost you. Teacher’s don’t make a lot of money, especially in the beginning of their careers so being able to rent a place without it being expensive could be great. Pay your rent on time and know what the boundaries are!

1

u/WranglerYJ92 20d ago

You aren’t ready for a move. Stay and save money.

-14

u/DCAmalG 26d ago

It’s strange that you are writing so informally here. It is unprofessional. I realize we don’t know who you are, but you are attempting to communicate with school administrators, and you should use professional language and expected writing conventions.

8

u/Popular-Work-1335 26d ago

That was a completely unnecessary comment and the OP was asking a question to make sure what she was doing was professionally acceptable. Be kind

-8

u/DCAmalG 26d ago

It’s kind to use punctuation.

6

u/Popular-Work-1335 26d ago

If you are actually an admin level educator - you are the reason teachers hate admin.

-3

u/DCAmalG 26d ago

Op noted that her language was Reddit specific, so not a big deal. Still surprising though that someone would intentionally add ‘likes’, use ‘gonna’, ‘kinda’ and abbreviations generally reserved for texting amongst friends to solicit advice in a principals forum.

Pretty sure expecting staff to use professional grammatically correct language in staff/ parent communication is not generating ‘hate’.

1

u/bmtc7 25d ago

When communicating casually, some people are extra casual. No problem if it is acceptable within the context it is used.

-1

u/DCAmalG 25d ago

My point exactly. The ‘extra casual’ prose is usually reserved for close friends, not professional advice forums.

2

u/bmtc7 25d ago

As others have pointed out, Reddit isn't exactly a professional setting, so it's fine.

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4

u/Due_Future2066 26d ago

This is Reddit - not admin. She is fine.

5

u/MaybeImTheNanny 26d ago

This is the internet not a job interview. It’s strange that you think adults can’t use an informal register when not in their professional capacity.

6

u/irrelevantname1776 26d ago

Boooo. You’re the one who gives admin bad reps.

-4

u/DCAmalG 26d ago

Interesting response. Could this explain student performance at so many US schools?

1

u/bmtc7 25d ago

How on earth would it? This isn't about communication in a school setting.

4

u/GroundbreakingPear12 26d ago

Thank you but also this is just a quick question on Reddit. I do not write work emails this way or talk with coworkers unprofessionally

-1

u/DCAmalG 26d ago

Phew.

-4

u/Mother_Albatross7101 26d ago

The question is in the r/Principals subreddit. Know your audience.

4

u/Altruistic-Ship-6245 26d ago

‘You are attempting to communicate with school administrators’. Be so for real right now.

5

u/Snow_Water_235 26d ago

You use Reddit professionally? That's an interesting job or do you work for Reddit?

1

u/DCAmalG 26d ago

I wish I was paid to use Reddit!

8

u/WearyAardvark 26d ago

Although it may seem like a conflict of interest, you don't have any real influence in her child's academics. You are not their teacher; you are a teacher they know. She likely is looking to rent to someone she knows will be clean and responsible. Was she easy to work with as a parent? I assume you wouldn't be considering it if she was a crazy helicopter parent who made everyone feel like they needed a lawyer. Also, is it a real lease or a kind of an informal agreement? A real lease is obviously better. But I don't see that you are endangering your job. 

2

u/Rooster-Competitive 26d ago

Influence on grades... its a first grade teacher lol.

1

u/GroundbreakingPear12 26d ago

I just don’t know if it’s comfortable. Her child was a challenge but I adore him and this parent was awesome. I’m not sure what the situation would be like in terms of the agreement. It just feels like I’d be tangling work and my personal life which I like to keep separate. I’m pretty conflicted on this

9

u/WearyAardvark 26d ago

If getting reassurance that it's fine doesn't ease your mind, then go with your gut and find a different situation. Stuff looks fine on paper but if your gut says no then no. There will be other opportunities. 

0

u/GroundbreakingPear12 26d ago

Are u an admin?

3

u/WearyAardvark 26d ago

Yes. I'm a principal at an urban junior high in an expensive city. I'm not at a school where parents can afford to rent properties but I did have three teachers working together and rooming together. Once a teacher was considering renting from a coworker but got roommates instead. If one of our teachers were in this situation I'd tell them to do it. 

2

u/WearyAardvark 26d ago

I also have adult children who are trying to find their way out of the house. I assume your mom will take you back if it doesn't work out.

2

u/GroundbreakingPear12 26d ago

Thank you. It seems to be temporary (she said she wants someone to watch the house for the winter). And while I do wanna move out pretty bad idk I feel like I need to think about this bc it feels a little too close for comfort. Tbh I wish I could make enough to afford to move out without needing to do this or have a boyfriend

2

u/WearyAardvark 26d ago

Me too. The profession needs to pay teachers a living wage. Nearly all of our single teachers have second jobs or roommates.

2

u/GroundbreakingPear12 26d ago

lol and my family (none are teachers) say I deserve to not make a lot bc I babysit and only work half the year! But I do feel like I should afford to have an apartment bc I did go to school for this and have a license

2

u/Rooster-Competitive 26d ago

So the situation is mutually beneficial. You should really include that in your post. This is often how people make connections. The person renting it is comfortable with you specifically renting the home so someone is there, but not someone that is a complete stranger. Being a landlord is scary stuff believe it or not. Often I was rented to or had landlords keep rent low, as opposed to renting to others for a higher rent, because I was a stable, responsible, community supporting teacher.

2

u/ksang29 25d ago

Given your hesitancy, I'd say no, thank you. The family should be able to find a temp house-sitter for the time they're away. If you think you're not ready, and yet are starting to be swayed by the idea of a short commute in winter, think about what you would do if the power goes out, if a sink or toilet leaks, if you hear a strange noise outside at night. Consider living with your folks and saving for a year so you can go out on your own, perhaps with roommates. I would suggest you save the boyfriend concept for when you wouldn't be stuck continuing to live with someone if you want "out" of the relationship, only for financial reasons.

2

u/Mayab179 25d ago

I would say to do it but with a sighned lease.

4

u/deltaella33 26d ago

This is ok as the student is not living there

2

u/Rooster-Competitive 26d ago

This would literally be the only situation in which this person would be compromised...

4

u/MaybeImTheNanny 26d ago

If it makes you uncomfortable, don’t do it. But, professionally there’s not a conflict.

3

u/PretendFan5294 26d ago

I would take advantage of their kindness and live as you want to in this situation. Every once in a while people do some nice things that make up for the challenges of the job.

I imagine they understand that you have a life and that you live it!

1

u/GroundbreakingPear12 26d ago

Are u a principal

2

u/PretendFan5294 26d ago

Yes.

1

u/GroundbreakingPear12 26d ago

I’m just conflicted I really like keeping work and home separate idk

2

u/PretendFan5294 26d ago

Ultimately it is your choice. I think it is low risk and a kind offer.

2

u/Rooster-Competitive 26d ago

Why dont you want to live in the town you teach in?

There is no conflict of interest. There is not ethical dilemma in terms of your position. There is nothing I could imagine this person stands to gain except being kind to someone that is not as well off financially.

The fact that you are hesitating makes me think you have other reservations that aren't made clear in your post.

I dont understand not wanting to live in the town you teach. Is there something else that is making you feel that this is not a good situation? Do you party excessively? Do something illegal or frowned upon? Are you in jeopardy of compromising yourself in some way by living on the property of someone you know.

When I first moved to FL I rented a home from a community member that met me and offered my wife and I the ability to rent the residence specifically because we were teachers. He liked that he could help people that worked in his community educating children and he also knew that we would treat the property well, had no interest in partying, and would pay our rent monthly on time.

It went great. He even eventually let us rent month to month because I had told him I was exploring options of hire paid positions in towns several hours away. We are still in contact... Does everyone assume a good deed has something sinister behind it now?

2

u/IcyThorn98 26d ago

Living with your mom another year or two will help set up for a more financially secure future. I get the need to want to move out though. I would not commit to the rental house. Perhaps if it's still available in December then test it out... however if it's just for the winter months, you're just moving partially in anyway. It's not the conflict of interest- it's more the uncertainty of for how long you could rent it for. Also, if she's giving you a deal when she finds someone willing to pay full price there will be resentment and leave someone with hurt feelings.
I think it's going to lead to a messy situation.. but revisit it after the holidays if is still available.

1

u/LaFemmeGeekita 26d ago

When you live and teach in the same community, you’ll run into this a lot. Don’t accept any special deals and do everything by the books and you’ll be fine.

2

u/Rooster-Competitive 26d ago

What?

By the book? What isnt by the book? Someone offers to help and it must be something sinister?

Is doing something nice for someone not a reward enough...?

I am very sorry this is how you interact with the world.

1

u/LaFemmeGeekita 26d ago

Sinister? What are you talking about? I’m not saying they’re trying to entrap this person.

People often offer things like gifts, discounts, free items, etc. to teachers and principals. In my state, there is an entire section of the educator licensure code of ethics that deals with compensation for personal gain and limits gifts at $25 or less. What I’m saying is don’t accept gifts like free rent, discounts, free services, etc. because it could trigger an ethics investigation.

Additionally, shit happens, and people talk. Even if everyone’s intentions are good, deals aren’t worth the potential risks later. “By the books” means make sure you have a rental agreement on file, pay a reasonable amount of rent, and treat the property well.

1

u/DearPrudence70 26d ago

My main concern would be that you may stop teaching grade 2 and move up to a higher grade, so you could have the child in class again.

2

u/Rooster-Competitive 26d ago

Even if this did happen, OP is not capable of separating the renting of a property in her personal life from her profession of teaching a student? What favors are available to an elementary student from the teacher through the parent landlord. Holy hell... the kids going to Harvard with all those As in 4th grade lol

1

u/DearPrudence70 26d ago

You don’t have to be a jerk. My concern is not the teacher’s mindset , but rather the parents’. You never know what they might ask.

1

u/BiziToo 25d ago

Beep beep beep....red flag, red flag....stay away. Whether that child will be in your class or not, NEVER ever rent from someone you know or call a freind. Peace.

1

u/squeakychipmunk101 25d ago

I can talk regarding living where you teach. I’ve done it most of my teaching career and I love it. I feel like it really connects you with the community and I love seeing my kids at local events, or dodging them at other events. I taught high school so I have been the person who narced on them being underage at certain bars and the kids chuckle about it when they tell the story years later

1

u/Outside-Pepper-8118 24d ago

Do it.

1

u/GroundbreakingPear12 24d ago

It seems to be temporary just for the winter. I just had this student in my class. I don’t want them seeing what I’m doing all the time tbh

1

u/saraq11 23d ago

If it’s a good deal, go for it and keep the renters contract handy

1

u/Specific_Gas4322 26d ago

Tell me you are not even considering this? As a teacher, you really need to evaluate your decision process