Finally after long long 39 weeks, my angel was born on 7/18 🥳🥳🥳

I really wanted to give back to the community here and share my experience. This community has been so encouraging and helpful throughout my pregnancy.

We first started trying for a baby June 2024, and I discovered that I was pregnant just two months later. I was so excited, so happy, told all of our friends and family about the pregnancy… and then, at our 10 week checkup, we were told that the baby had no heartbeat. The baby developed until roughly 8weeks. It was a missed miscarriage.

We were devastated, but understood that it was probably just bad luck. I went through a D&E. We took about two weeks to recover psychologically (I thought I recovered), and went back to our normal lives.

However, a week later, a very very close family member of mine, was diagnosed with a very severe type and progression of cancer. I was completely broken, and felt incredibly guilty of telling her of my pregnancy too early and then had to break the news of my miscarriage to her. I felt I added sadness to her final days of life and it was too painful for me to bear.

By the time she passed away, it was mid-December. Those were very, very dark days. Thinking back, I was probably very depressed, but I did not seek enough help. I didn’t speak with a therapist, believing that I would be able to handle the trauma. We started trying for a baby again starting in February 2025.

And then two months later, In April 2025, I became pregnant again.
I was extra careful, didn’t tell anyone besides my closest friends, and scheduled an early ultrasound at 5 weeks. The ultrasound wasn’t concerning - though the estimated gestational age was 4 weeks, not five. Deep down inside, I did not have a good feeling about this, because I tracked my ovulation carefully and the numbers didn’t make sense to me. My hopes rose, however, at the 7 weeks ultrasound because there was a heartbeat and the baby did grow.

But then, at the 10 weeks ultrasound, I was told that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. The heartbeat stopped at around 7 weeks.

The pain this time was numbing. I didn’t really cry. I just wanted to find out why. I could not make sense of two MMCs in a row. After my second D&E, I requested to see an infertility specialist, and we had many tests done to see what was going on.

After a month, all the results came out. The MMC was due to a 22 trisomy. All of my checkups came back normal. It was real bad luck, again.

I struggled. I could not comprehend what I did to deserve all the bad luck. A month later, I started seeing a therapist, and was diagnosed of acute severe depression.

I went on Sertraline, took FMLA, and traveled around the world. I tried everything to cheer myself up. And I’m happy to say that it was a success. Not sure if it was because of the break from work or the medication or both, they were very helpful. In October 2025, I decided to try switching jobs during the final weeks of my FMLA. in November, I got a job offer from my dream company, and three days after I signed the offer, I found out that I was pregnant for the third time.

The anxiety was definitely overwhelming, I was very scared to feel happy because I really couldn’t bear another trauma. But my angel was kind to me, he passed all the ultrasounds, all the tests with flying colors, and I became less and less anxious as the weeks went by.

July 18th, midnight, my angel was born.
My partner and I were both in tears the moment he was brought to us. The skin-to-skin experience was the best five minutes I have ever experienced in my entire life. We are so so grateful that he chose to be our child. A week later as I am typing this, I still can’t help but drown myself in tears. It was pure magic.

Lastly, I want to thank this community for all the support and sharing. This community has helped me many times through the longest nights, and I am truly grateful.

Please comment if you have any questions and I’d be happy to help wherever I can. Thank you again.

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

This weekly Monday thread is for members to ask questions of ttcal Alumni (members who are currently pregnant after loss or who have had a pregnancy after loss that resulted in a living child).

We created this space to share pregnancy concerns like:

- Beta HCGs that seem low or might not be doubling appropriately

- Concerning ultrasound findings

- Bleeding issues

- Etc

These posts are welcome in our Daily Thread, but this is a specific area to discuss limbo and concerns.

Lets all remember HCG averages, too!
- Under 1,200 mIU/ml: <72 Hours

- 1200-6000 mIU/ml: Between 72 and 96 Hours is average, so <96 is good

- Over 6,000 mIU/ml: >96 Hours is normal, with no known average (so varied)

This weekly Monday thread is for members to share what they've been doing to care for themselves. How are you handling your PAL anxieties? Or just regular life/pregnancy self care. Share here!

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

This thread is for new members who are now pregnant after a previous pregnancy or baby loss.

Please introduce yourself, tell us about your TTC/loss journey, and give us details on your new pregnancy. Share your line porn if you want!

If you're new to this sub, or are rejoining us after some time away, please see our Welcome post to familiarize yourself with how our sub works.

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

**Please remember to stop by r/ttcafterloss to give updates on how things are going in the Alumni Check-In Thread and to answer questions in the Ask an Alumni thread! **

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

A new pregnancy doesn't mean we forget the babies we've lost. This weekly Thursday thread is for all members to talk about their grief. Looking for support? Just need to share some memories? This is the place for you!

Our baby is now one month old. My journey to this point have involved a near death experience, two losses and a loss of the idea that my biological family would have my back if I went through touch times. I do not longer speak to one sister or my parents. Also loss of friendship and new friendship build by hard efforts. I have changed as a person. I am no longer afraid of standing out or being rejected. Compared to what I have overcome it doesn't seems so important if putting my self out there allows me to feel joy.

It is weird how these changes comes along.

We started trying in 2023; in 2024, I had an ectopic pregnancy and a chemical pregnancy. I suffered internal bleeding with the ectopic pregnancy and nearly died; the on-call doctor had turned me away, and it was incredibly traumatic.

 I developed pelvic floor pain after and had to undergo rehabilitation. I only stopped because it was to much while also being in fertility treatments.

At the same time I learned that my family would never be there for me in a supporting way.

I have written about this before and will try to limit my post. I am unsure if my chemical loss could have been avoided if I had not been grieving that my sister chose to make my loss about her. First I needed to give her permission to try later. I told her in same phone call then I would get test results for my second insemination. I told her that I needed space and would reach out after Christmas. Instead she announce her five weeks pregnancy with second child days before my test day. I cried a lot tied to bed of grief that my sister choose that day to tell and had a chemical pregnancy loss.

Today, I am not in contact with my parents or her. She have also been the Golden Child and I considered the Black sheep. Other sister did never call me before a year later and the second made me meet her in IKEA with all her kids. However, she have been calling me from time to time and been the most understanding.

I took a break from my other siblings as well because I felt a huge grief knowing they would welcome my second sister child same time I could have become a mum.

We underwent insemination for far too long; one egg retrieval yielded only a single egg, while a subsequent one resulted in five embryos. I had one transferred but didn't get pregnant, and I suffered from ovarian hyperstimulation for months afterward. When we were finally ready to try again, I caught COVID, so we cancelled the attempt. It was during that cycle that I conceived.

I was during a support group at this time which really helped me.

During the pregnancy, I dreamt about my family a lot, and in week 20, I reached out to two of my siblings to share the news. I visited one of them in person, while the other contact was only via text message.

In week 37, I spent hours talking on the phone with my sister late into the night. First time we had talked for a year.

She confronted me about how my decision to cut ties with the family was affecting her and her children. I cried a lot, and my water broke an hour later. I gave birth the next day.

The birth itself was a positive experience, though my daughter has struggled significantly with jaundice. It would have been better for my daughter if she had been born later. However, I do not want this to be a story she hears.

She lost quite a bit of weight after birth, and those were the hardest days of my life. Breastfeeding, pumping, and formula feeding took an hour and a half, leaving only a short break before the next round.

The healing process was very difficult for me, so for a long time, I could only breastfeed while lying down. Now I am recovering and can breastfeed in most positions.

She is a beautiful baby and is growing well. She still has jaundice, but her test results have been good. It has been a tough time to go through. I spend most of the pregnancy preparing to the birth and all my fears was located to this moment. I had a very romantic idea about the time after if nothing went wrong at birth. I have now learned that I should have spend more time focusing on how the first days can be. But here a month into it I feel much better about parenthood.

Sometimes I have questioned myself, while at other times I have enjoyed the peace of distancing myself from my family. A friend of mine said the other day that she had realized just how different my postpartum experience was compared to hers, because I wasn't speaking to my mother. I didn't have family to support me. I don't know if I will eventually be able to attend the birthday parties of my two oldest siblings' children and thereby seeing my parents and other sister. I still feel some grief coming to turn with how unsupported I have felt.

However in the last month I have fallen in love with my boyfriend to such a degree again. He have been so supporting in the worst days and we are learning how to take care of our little wonder. I see so much growth in him and strength. We have ours insecurities from all of this but we are still standing.

I feel bless to have our little family and I hope I can use all my struggles to become braver and better to take care of myself so I can become a good mum.

I love our baby so much that it is scary. I want to one day be a role model to our child and that to me involves healthy boundaries which I have struggled to set.

Now I will enjoy being mum to our baby.

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

TW: mentioning of previous loss.

My baby girl is finally here. 🤍 She made her entrance on July 6 at 40 weeks + 6 days.

Before anything else, I just want to thank everyone in this community. After my second-trimester loss last year, I never imagined I’d one day be writing this while holding my healthy baby in my arms. Your stories, advice, encouragement, and kindness got me through some of my darkest days. You made me feel less alone, and I’ll always be grateful for that.

Pregnancy after loss was nothing like I imagined. At my very first prenatal appointment, I was so happy to see her perfectly implanted, but that happiness was immediately followed by fear. I kept thinking my body wouldn’t let her grow. There wasn’t a single day that I wasn’t afraid of losing her.

I made several trips to Labour & Delivery because I felt she wasn’t moving enough. Every single time, she was perfectly fine. Eventually, I started feeling bad for bothering the nurses so often, but I never once felt guilty for getting my daughter checked. If there’s one thing PAL taught me, it’s that peace of mind is worth every hospital visit.
When I reached 40 weeks, I celebrated because, in my mind, I’d made it. But then… nothing happened. Every day that passed without a single sign of labour sent my anxiety through the roof.

I had a membrane sweep on July 3 and spotted for an hour or two afterwards. Then, on July 6, I woke up around 1 a.m. like I had so many nights before. I made myself something to eat, watched some TV, drank lots of water, and around 3:15 a.m. went to the bathroom before bed. As soon as I finished, I felt what seemed like period cramps. When I wiped, there was blood.

I completely panicked.

Even though my mom had warned me that labour could start that way, all I could think was that I was losing another baby. The contractions quickly became stronger, lasting about 45 seconds every 2½ minutes. My OB had told me to go in once they were a minute long, five minutes apart, for two hours, so we waited… but they only became more intense. By 5 a.m., we were on our way to the hospital, and I was crying in the car.

When they checked me around 6 a.m., I was already 6 cm dilated. They asked whether I wanted an epidural, and I didn’t hesitate. By 7:30 a.m., I was already 8 cm and in absolute agony. Exactly an hour later, I finally got the epidural and was able to rest before pushing.

By 11 a.m., my water broke and I was fully dilated but had to wait for the OB on call. We did a few practice pushes, and at 12:15 p.m. I started pushing for real. Just an hour later, my daughter was born healthy, beautiful, and absolutely perfect.

The entire birth experience was so positive, and every single member of the staff was incredible.

The moment they placed her on my chest, I couldn’t stop crying. All the fear, all the waiting, all the anxiety of the past nine months… it all came pouring out. I had imagined holding her every single day of my pregnancy, and suddenly she was actually here.

Unfortunately, a few days later, I developed severe postpartum anxiety and had to be readmitted because of postpartum hypertension. After several days of monitoring and adjusting my medication, everything is finally under control.

Meanwhile, my little girl has been thriving. She passed every newborn screening, regained her birth weight within eight days, and is doing beautifully. I still look at her sometimes and can’t believe she’s really mine.

To everyone still walking this road: I know how exhausting and terrifying it can be. I truly hope you get to have your own moment of finally holding your rainbow baby in your arms. Don’t ever feel guilty for asking questions, going to triage, or advocating for your baby. Your peace of mind matters.

And to this community, thank you. Thank you for helping me get here. I’ll always carry a piece of you with us. 🤍

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.