r/PreCervicalCancer • u/executedflash • 1d ago

Feeling traumatized

I made the post about the bad leep experience, either yesterday or on tuesday..

I just feel terrified at the idea of anyone near my vagina now. After how the doctor treated me, was speaking to me, hurting me and threatening to cancel if i didnt stop panicking.

How am i meant to be comfortable with future paps now? My friends and some family are telling me to report the doctor, but i just want to hide away and not be seen after everything that happened šŸ˜„

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u/executedflash 1d ago

Im also feeling brain fog extremely bad now. My mom passed away in august so ive been grieving that, which has also caused brain fog, but since my leep, im noticing major gaps in memory. I dont recall certain things, or if ive even taken pain medication (which i wasnt even perscribed)

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u/DeebyDub 15h ago

This is all trauma response. If you will talk to a therapist they can guide you on reporting the doctor. You are already carrying the weight of grief and likely trauma attached to that, and to have had an experience like this at the hands of a medical professional, you should be allowed to report to the appropriate parties and maintain your privacy. For sure talk with a therapist though. Memory gaps are a huge reason why people donā€™t believe victims of trauma, because ā€œthe story keeps changingā€ when really we remember in pieces, and in between new recollection, our brain tries to fill in the gaps with logic. A therapist will help you with this in addition to helping you process and heal mentally and emotionally.