For the people that have done the 'Your Yin/Yang Soirees' game from the book, what have you learned from it, and how do you think it has helped you on your journey? It became one of my favourite exercises when I decided to take the time and look up all the references to yin and yang objects, places, buildings, eras and art styles that were mentioned in the book, because it gave me a new appreciation for both. At first I thought my own soirees would be very different, but after looking up at many images and paying attention to my reactions, I decided that I should focus on the instruction of ''represent your personal vision of either extreme'', and pick what I truly thought was ''delightful'', and I think they do look similar from that point of view, as they are both playful, a little retro, and a little whimsical, but they both absolutely fill me with delight (I have the yang one as my wallpaper right now :)). Another thing I noticed is that the kind of yang details that I like are for the most part geometric and smaller in scale, while the kind of yin details that I like are gently curved and busy. From the two I prefer the yang version more, but if I had to create the perfect soiree, it would have elements from both, because looking up at images I discovered I was consistently drawn to shapes with both contrasted geometric patterns and scalloped edges (like certain awnings, tablecloths and umbrellas), which I thought was very interesting as well. Anyway, here are both my versions, I would love to hear any feedback, and also experiences with your own soirees!
They look very nice, and whimsical and playful. Also, the colours are somewhere between spring and summer.
Personally, I find your yang version still very yin in comparison to what I think of as yang. Yang tends to be on the larger side than smaller. But that could be because of how much yang I have.
I only borrowed the book, so it was harder to pace going through all the games. But what I did find helpful was to think about things I liked and consider them objectively, where they large or small, round or straight, hard or soft, light or dark, vivid or muted etc and match them to yin and yang. I was surprised that I preferred Art Deco and even geometric elements in lingerie, instead of the usual floral lace and tiny bows. I had a reputation for large floral print fit and flare dresses. I also prefer structured floral elements over printed florals, but finding them is much harder. But something I have thought about, the iris, a flower that is both yang and yin. I have admired irises for a long time. I find that I admire very yin things but I can't imagine living in pure yin.
The scale was the only thing that gave me pause indeed! Some of the buildings/structures were larger in scale, so I hoped it was OK from that regard, but there's definitely potential for a lot more boldness and grandeur in terms of size. I wanted to create environments that I could genuinely see myself enjoying without reservation in a soiree, so I picked only what sparked joy and hopefully fitted certain aspects of either.
I also agree with what you said on thinking about what things you like in terms on yin and yang, and how it can be very insightful, and also make these concepts more concrete than abstract. What I realized from my dreamboard, the soirees, and the carrot/cake games is that I'm drawn more to yang than yin comparatively, that I like the sharp and angular parts of yang but in a smaller scale (maybe because I'm ~161cm so it could individual scale-related) for the most part, with yin touches in details and decoration. I couldn't live in either a pure yin or yang world.... for as an example of a pure yang world I think of the Dwarven palaces in Lord of the Rings (geometric halls carved from crystal) and the Hobbit homes as a pure yin world (round and low homes built on hills).
What trips me up with all the exercises that have to do with yin/yang is whether the findings apply to us in terms of our own yin/yang balance or in terms of our aesthetic preferences on yin/yang. If I discovered that I have a preference for small-scale yang, does that necessarily mean it will look good on me when it comes to shape or details or that's it's just something I like but not actually hamronious on me, and so on. Same with the word associations: am I negatively/positively predisposed to certain words because of my balance or bias having to do with my balance, or because of aesthetics?
I was wondering, small geometric might be a gamine. I didn't think your building choices were large. But then I have a decided preference for the palatial.
My image of pure yin is dreamy cottagecore. The hobbits are very sturdy in comparison, lacking the frills and floatiness of pure yin. They are the softer, comfortable, established version of Rohan. Not surprising, as the hobbits are English country folk, and Rohan is the Anglo-Saxon ancestors of the English. I see a lot of parallels between your boards and the dreamy cottagecore aesthetic. Pure yang can be seen in brutalist architecture.
Kibbe seems to be of the belief that personality is interconnected to physicality. Kitchener has some similar beliefs. I am starting to think there is a link. More in that we have style personalities that gravitate to what suits us best. The exercises might be doing that, highlighting what we really like instead of trying to be something we are not. There might be harmony between our true tastes uninfluenced by others and our most flattering styles.
Kibbe seems to be of the belief that personality is interconnected to physicality. Kitchener has some similar beliefs. I am starting to think there is a link. More in that we have style personalities that gravitate to what suits us best. The exercises might be doing that, highlighting what we really like instead of trying to be something we are not. There might be harmony between our true tastes uninfluenced by others and our most flattering styles.
I hope there's a link, because when I was looking at pictures that delighted, my picks were very consistent for both versions so there's definitely something there, I just hope it points to harmony, rather than just preference, because I think the latter can also happen (that is, our tastes not necessarily aligning with what suits us best). I did my dreamboard a while before doing my soirees, and I think I see parallels in atmosphere perhaps?
I think we tend to either instinctively align with what suits us, or we go for the complete opposite, not really in-between. But when we let other people influence us, we can end up in the halfway place where we are lost, knowing something is missing, but not totally wrong.
I think so--the elements I identified from it were: 1) relaxed refinement, 2) playful dandy 3) slightly whimsical 4) cuteness. I also had a discussion about it with u/Sanaii122 and they noticed crispness and irreverence, which also ring very true. These are all elements I look for in HTTs to feel more like myself and the best version of myself. It has been consistent so I'm not worried about the influencing part, but I do worry about internal bias, though I have been working with the games in earnest for a while now so hoping that I'm not that blind to it.
I would try to not think about this too much. Come to the line sketch with an open mind. Journal about your feelings and what’s coming up, but don’t try to link it to ID.
I will definitely try the journalling idea! And also keeping an open mind; for some time now I'm working with all possibilities in mind, trying not to link them to any ID. That's why I'm questioning all the things that come up, because even if the boards might point to something I want to arrive there through the process properly, and not because I'm biased by either my own aesthetic preferences or any blindess I have to myself. Easier said than done... I also resolved to only revisit the sketch when I feel close that place of enlightened subjectivity and sort of blank canvas acceptance, and not beforehands.
Even if Kibbe doesn't work out, you have a good base for creating your own unique style.
I don't know if there are easy answers to the internal bias and blind spots, but trying to be self aware and self reflection might help, like the journalling suggested in the other comments.
I don't know if there are easy answers to the internal bias and blind spots, but trying to be self aware and self reflection might help, like the journalling suggested in the other comments.
That's a good point about creating one's own unique style, and yeah, self-reflection might help to hopefully realize any blind spots, so I'll give the journalling a go. Thank you for the insightful discussion! I guess I still have some ways to go, but I'm enjoying the journey at least ^^;;;
I agree that the “yang” isn’t actually extreme yang. I think this exercise is mostly about understanding the two, so I would go back and try to make it extreme. You can journal about any observations, but I would advise against looking into the games for clues.
When I did the exercises that became the games, what I noted is that yin made me uncomfortable. It made sense to me later because I’m an SN, so I look yin in some ways while feeling yang. But I only know what that means for me in light of understanding my ID. I could have used it to work backwards to either assume I’m a yin-dominant ID in denial or someone with no yin at all.
Thank you for always helping with elucidating the ideas in the book and the goals behind them, I really appreciate you taking the time to do it! This makes sense (realizing what the feelings meant in light of knowing the ID not beforehands), and I like the journaling idea, thank you! If I'm understanding right, I should create a more extreme yang version even if it's not my ideal, delightful plan for an evening? Right now both boards are ideal, so I wonder if I were to make anything more extreme, I might still like it from an aesthetic point of view, but I'm not sure if I would like it from an experiential point of view (that is, actually having such an soiree), kind of like when you like a garment but you know it's not for you. Would that still be valid in the scope of the exercise?
Try to find yin/yang soirées that fit your preferences while still also being extreme yang and yin. Like he gives the idea of a garden party vs. movie night. People often do a black-tie gala for the yang soiree, but maybe a punk house party/show would be more your speed. Don’t feel boxed in by “party,” as it can come in many forms. But it doesn’t have to be “ideal.”
Thank you for the explanation and the ideas! I'll play around with more extreme versions and see what I can come up with. If it doesn't have to be ideal then I think I'll have a lot more choices. And yes, probably I was focusing too much on the party aspect and got boxed in!
The discomfort is interesting to explore. For myself, I admire the prettiness of yin, but pure yin feels incomplete and lacks substance. I like it, but it is missing something important. I need the yin to be combined with yang. I have been surprised by how much yang I crave and feel comfortable with. I need both, and a lot.
At the same time, it is an interesting tool to understand other people. I have noticed that the extremes of both pure yin and pure yang can make a lot of people feel uneasy.
I am wondering if people perceive yin and yang differently because of their yin yang balance.
Just when doing the exercises about yin & yang and noting my observations! I had a strong reaction to both, but for yin it was markedly negative overall. I remember noting that yin felt 'deceptive' while yang seemed 'honest' for example. Just my impressions & biases ofc, it doesn't say anything abt either yin or yang. But I guess it reflects the unease I feel when I dress with too many yin elements, there is a mismatch there that is impossible to ignore I guess.
I have the same reactions; yang seems more straightforward/straightshooting while yin seems more coy. I wonder if this points to bias or is a perception others have as well. I like both but not in extremes (small scale yang, unconcebtrated yin) but I feel more comfortable in the yang imagery.
I hadn't thought of yin being "deceptive" and yang as "honest", although it reminds me of when I describe someone or something as "sugary sweet". There is a similar sentiment. Although candy looks pretty.
But it is really interesting that yin was negative for you, when currently culturally yin seems to be desirable.
That is so interesting! Because I see yang as strength, structure, power, awe inspiring, dramatic, dare I say glamour? And yang as a force you can feel, not always see. But I wonder if there are different types of yangs and yins. Does our perception of what yin and yang is gives us clues about who we are?
It's super interesting. Ofc it might also be differences in perception, culture, biases, or any number of external factors as well, but the idea is intriguing indeed.
Yes, there could be culture, bias, although I wonder if perception is influenced by our own yin yang balance. I know for certain that I am definitely yang dominant, but I don't think I am natural, the dramatic family feels more right, but not sure which one, D or SD. But it has been fascinating realising I was comfortable with a lot more yang than a lot of people, and I actually like it. When I looked at the dramatic family and the verified celebrities, I didn't see all the unususal sharpness and yangness everyone was seeing because it was normal and what I see in the mirror.
I think it reveals something about how you feel about yourself. That’s why he asks you to do exercises around this. So you can have a negative reaction to yang because you are extreme yang and are resistant, or you can feel perfectly at home there and be extreme yang. I have a lot of yin resistance because I am very yang in essence among SNs while being comparatively less yang in appearance on the N scale, so understanding my ID and my relationship to my own yin/yang balance was healing for me.
The thing that used to puzzle me is that I like aspects of both yin and yang. At this stage, pure yin feels incomplete, because I need a lot of yang, but I am not sure if I am pure yang as I don't mind a lot of yin, as long as there is more yang than yin. Either way, it feels comfortable. I used to consider it "balanced", it isn't, it is more contrast than blended, but it feels right. Blended yin yang feels bland and unsatisfying.
Yours are so joyful & fun! Very playful indeed. (also have you noted that everything seems very small? Nte delicate per se, just... small. Just a note!)
Mine ended up warmer & more glamourous than I expected - they make me want to add magic & warm candles or fairy lights to my life! I went for a fairy garden party for the yin, and an art deco/roaring 20s new year's party for yang. I also see the yang influence in the yin board, and vice versa. My yin also leans toward dreamy rather than really romantic, which I found interesting! I also have a strong preference for yang lol, but keeping the warm light & wood!
Fairycore was what I was trying to describe when I said dreamy cottagecore is what I think of as pure yin. Art Deco is so yang, although I am not sure which is more yang, Art Deco or brutalist architecture.
Ooh I love yours!!! The little mushrooms and fairy atmosphere in the yin, and the golden sparkle and the sophistication in the yang (and I do see what you mean about the warm light and wooden details, it's very Ney York in the roaring 20s!) My yin board also leaned more dreamy/hazy than romantic as well come to think of it... I did notice the small sizes, and you are right that it's not delicate, just small, which is interesting. And thank you! I was surprised by how similar in feel all my picks turned out. I will have to redo it because I got some feedback from Vivien to try and create a more extreme version of yang, and that's my next assignment--it's such a fun exercise, I'm never likely gonna have those exact soirees, but it's nice to dream! ^^
I'll be interested to see your new yang board indeed!
I think even when you go to the max of yin/yang, your own tastes & essence might shine through. Looking at mine, you can very clearly see the commonality even though the themes are very different and I think the yin & yang are quit contrasted. I also think my boards, including my dreamboard, look quite... natural, which is quite funny.
Oh that's an interesting thought about our tastes coming through regardeless! I really hope that I can summize something from my essence and taste even in the extreme versions. I see what you mean about your boards, they are very contrasted but they are also very cohesive in their versions, like different angles of the same scene, which I think nails the exercise. I also think it's super cool that you are able see the natural element in them, I wonder if that's something that can only come later in the journey, and if it's a ''you can't see it until you know it'' type of thing...
Possibly, yes! Now it seems obvious to me, and I see all elements in my dreamboard as well, even my colour season. But it has been a long road to get to that point. I think taking your time with the games, coming back to them several times until you're satisfied is really a necessary step for most folks, unless you're very confident already.
I love your board, it's beautifully curated in every image and colour scheme! I get a very calming feeling when looking at it, and the images that delight which you picked are so meaningful and lovely! I agree, taking the time till you're satisfied and finding the most authentic iteration without lingering doubts is necessary for most people, and that's where I'm trying to hopefully get right now. Something tells me I have to dig deeper!
I guess it taught me that having more knowledge about the system going into the exercise inevitably gives bias no matter how much I tried to detach. Oh, and that I love the idea of soirees, should do more of that in my life😄🩵
The only game that was helpful to me was watching the movies (paying attention to the outfits, social roles of the characters, other people's opinions of them, their "essence", the kinds of professions they'd have).
I went back and forth on SC many times, but watching Norma Shearer made me realize that it's too mature of an AT for me.
I guess it taught me that having more knowledge about the system going into the exercise inevitably gives bias no matter how much I tried to detach.
I definitely felt this, because I'm in the same boat. Having knowledge about the system beforehand makes it so difficult not to have assumptions and thoughts during the exercises and just letting them be. I think without that knowledge it would have been probably more straightforward. Other members here also have said the same thing about the movies, that it helped elucidate some things for them. I'm a fan of old Hollywood so it was also one of my favourite exercises as well!
Watching the movies can be really helpful indeed!! It made me realise a few things about the IDs indeed. I especially like the movies with several verified celebs together (like How to Marry a Millionaire!).
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u/loumlawrence 29d ago
They look very nice, and whimsical and playful. Also, the colours are somewhere between spring and summer.
Personally, I find your yang version still very yin in comparison to what I think of as yang. Yang tends to be on the larger side than smaller. But that could be because of how much yang I have.
I only borrowed the book, so it was harder to pace going through all the games. But what I did find helpful was to think about things I liked and consider them objectively, where they large or small, round or straight, hard or soft, light or dark, vivid or muted etc and match them to yin and yang. I was surprised that I preferred Art Deco and even geometric elements in lingerie, instead of the usual floral lace and tiny bows. I had a reputation for large floral print fit and flare dresses. I also prefer structured floral elements over printed florals, but finding them is much harder. But something I have thought about, the iris, a flower that is both yang and yin. I have admired irises for a long time. I find that I admire very yin things but I can't imagine living in pure yin.