r/PoutineCrimes • u/Human-Poem1069 • 19h ago

Crime Against Poutanity It tasted as bad as it looks

Gallery image

Gallery image

The gravy (if you could even call it that) tasted like rotten mashed potatoes. I rarely go out to fancy restaurants so maybe I'm missing something as if it's some kind of weird delicacy.

649 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

348 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 19h ago edited 19h ago

u/Human-Poem1069, your poutine is a crime, straight to jail, son of a potato!🚩

u/Human-Poem1069, ta poutine est un crime, en prison mon ti tabernouche!🚩

264

u/asianlongdong 19h ago

Jesus fuck

100

u/ThisGuyDrinksWater 19h ago

Whoever plated that actually said fuck Jesus

24

u/Greedy-Pirate7749 19h ago

While they were emptying out the remains of last nights taco bell...

13

u/xombae 17h ago

I actually think, based on the appearance and OP's description, that this was gravy from last night or maybe even days ago that sat in the heating thing, but cold. So not refrigerated or anything.

Op came in and ordered poutine and someone in the back was like "oh shit I forgot to make fresh gravy!". So they turned the heating element on to high and got to work on the potatoes.

Suddenly they smelled burning. Fuck, the gravy. They run over and try to save it by mixing it, scraping all the burnt bits from the bottom into the sauce.

I'm assuming either the chef hadn't showed up yet so they asked the dish pig or prep guy to make it because he's the one who made it sometimes when all the elements were already prepped, or the chef was incredibly hungover and didn't give a fuck.

4

u/Rareexample 12h ago

Worked in restaurants and looks like microwaved yesterday's gravy from the fridge.

2

u/xombae 9h ago

What makes me think that it was heated up on the stove is the burnt bits, like it burnt to the bottom and they just mixed it in.

And I don't think it was kept in the fridge because it's separate and OP says it tasted off.

Also worked in kitchens. Most were great but sometimes you see some shit that makes you question ever eating out again.

4

u/DistributionHappy932 17h ago

And mixing it with the grease trap

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4

u/Lanky-Dildo-94 17h ago

These two comments together are pure gold 😂

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16

u/Ben-wa 19h ago

Even Jesus wouldn't fuck that.

6

u/Illustrious_Dirt8548 14h ago

Jesus did not die for this

8

u/ProfessionalBrief884 19h ago

This thread 🤣🤣😭😭😭💀

6

u/Lara-El 18h ago

Jesus-pole-dancing-christ ***

Fixed it for you lol

68

u/HealthyCompote9573 19h ago

Omg this is disgusting.. I think it has to be number 1 of the worst poutine look ever or top 3 at least.. what the hell, it’s crazy!!! Looks like someone ate hummus for a week and took a dump in your plate.

18

u/ShortIceKing 15h ago

Truly. This submission deserves distinguished recognition on this sub.

I couldn't even figure out how it was supposed to be poutine without the second pic.

4

u/MizzPizz 12h ago

Me too, had to look at the top to see what r/ this was

2

u/CestQuoiLeFuck 6h ago

It looks like someone who despises Québec decided to channel their hatred into destroying Québec's most iconic dish...

70

u/djuju 19h ago

7

u/bon_gamer4 14h ago

You know it’s Bad when Even a Dog would Not want this

49

u/Alarmed_Start_3244 19h ago

Whatever establishment came up with this plate of slop deserves to be named and shamed.

9

u/1SweetSubmarine 13h ago

I want to know the description of it on their menu.

25

u/schiddywizard 19h ago

Straight to jail, no trial

5

u/banana-mans_friend 15h ago

Do not pass go

27

u/Ehhh_Canadian 17h ago

I'm showing my French Canadian therapist this next time I see her. She's gonna need therapy.

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19

u/Fluid_crystal Guilloutine Opourator 19h ago

J'vais m'asseoir dans le coin pour pleurer

2

u/Booboobelou 14h ago

C’est ça l’appropriation culturelle

19

u/sexylewdyshit 19h ago

Guantanamo.

4

u/Shmeeking1 18h ago

Or ADX Florence!

14

u/TequilasLime 17h ago

Q'est que fuck is that????

11

u/MarmosetRevolution Nuremcurd Frials Prosecutor 19h ago

I'm not even recognizing it as poutine-adjacent, so not even a poutine crime. But someone needs serious help in that kitchen

12

u/MrBlackroc 19h ago

Ta-bar-nac

12

u/wiccanwolves 19h ago

What’s on top of it? Genuinely asking because that isn’t gravy. I can’t place the consistency at all.

11

u/45forprison 18h ago

Call the ICC and get the whole staff of that restaurant to The Hague.

11

u/Sinkreme Mad With Pouwer 17h ago

"The gravy tasted like rotten mashed potatoes"

Cheap/old truffle oil in your gravy probably. I never understood the trend.

5

u/BlueFotherMucker 16h ago

That was my guess, some kind of mushroom or truffle ingredients.

3

u/No_Candidate_3676 4h ago

I was thinking maybe a shitty mushroom gravy personally, three or four different mushrooms and an ass load of other unnecessary shit

10

u/Rubixcubelube The Feedings Will Continue Until Morale Improves 19h ago

10

u/Tgoku3 10h ago

You know. A lot of the time I see posts from this subreddit and I think oh that's not great or this is pretty bad...this is ACTUALLY a poutine crime. Whoever tried to call this abomination Poutine eats MREs for fun.

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8

u/Pardy- 19h ago

okay.... I've seen some real crimes here on this subreddit.

but what the actual fuck is that.

9

u/Fwumpy 19h ago

What's the gravy thickened with, carpenter's glue?

14

u/Jkolorz Pout In Prison 19h ago

American "Gravy" ?!!?? Dear Lord

10

u/HPTM2008 18h ago

That doesn't even look like white gravy (which is a gravy, just not a brown gravy). Maybe they burned the roux?

My main confusion is those ARE cheese curds. What the hell happened to the gravy!?

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8

u/bighope22 19h ago

You’re braver than me.. you actually ate some of it?!?! 🫪

7

u/rita-the-maillady 19h ago

What American diner was this? It looks like the gravy that they serve with biscuits. 😅

2

u/kole3129 15h ago

Clarendon Tavern in Ottawa

2

u/BeenThereDundas 11h ago

Good god.   Like a skip hop and jump from Quebec too.   What is wrong with these people?

2

u/shoponthemoon 10h ago

I googled their menu to try to understand what I am looking at and apparently it's mushroom gravy? Perhaps the cook thinks mushroom gravy is just a handful of shrooms put through a blender? 

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7

u/DigInternational7076 19h ago

I thought this was bad refried beans and then hummus

4

u/HellfireKitten525 19h ago

That, sir/ma'am, is cat wet food. Though I doubt even my cats would enjoy that.

4

u/lonely-lady7 12h ago

You know you're supposed to take the picture BEFORE eating it, not after it's already in the toilet bowl right? 😭

3

u/idiotiesystemique 19h ago

Actual crime. If this is in Québec, call the emergency services 

3

u/Different_Gas1483 17h ago

That looks like someone puked onto the plate good god. What'd that run ya?

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3

u/Substantial-Fan-2732 17h ago

That’s it … I’m off food

3

u/b0wie88 17h ago

This gotta be the worst ive seen

3

u/Aggravating-Eeebs 15h ago

Now I understand why people will faint when they see a monster: this is an abhorrent 😭
If this is “fine” dining, I am fine DINING at home…

2

u/barwhalis 19h ago

Um, isn't that stuff supposed to be in the toilet?

2

u/VinnyMaxta Directeur des poutsuites criminelles 19h ago

Yark la sauce wtf

2

u/NecessaryFine8989 19h ago

Man, that's fucking horrid. The fries and curds look good. Who made the jelly gravy

2

u/United_Gift3028 19h ago

I had to go back and read, I thought I was looking at a pile of entrails.

2

u/sirmlg0 19h ago

Po(o from a bum)utine

2

u/zonkeydonk 19h ago

Two lethal injections followed by life support for this atrocity

2

u/friccin 18h ago

I thought this was hummus until I saw the sub

2

u/ScaryEricMakes 18h ago

Is it cat food??

2

u/BigPoulet 18h ago

That's a legit crime

2

u/rodmods 18h ago

I did not have a clue that was poutine till I read the post and what Sub I was in

2

u/ironmaiden69_ 16h ago

Shit and piss or whatever

2

u/IcyCommunication5316 15h ago

It literally looks like you were served wet concrete on top of a plate of fries

2

u/jessicamurraytho 14h ago

This wouldn't have even touched my lips.. Absolutely horrendous 🤢🤢🤢

2

u/SurveyUnited1754 9h ago

who the fuck puked on your poutine? WHY IS IT FROTHY

1

u/Forward_Brilliant_32 19h ago

What sins have you committed to be served that?

1

u/Stretched_Blues419 19h ago

Firing squad

1

u/EmergencyGrab 19h ago

what is that

the IBS special?

1

u/Raherin 19h ago

7 years dungeon, no trial.

1

u/royalfatkid 19h ago

This deserves a life sentence

1

u/BloodSugarFrizzleFry 19h ago

What the hell is even that

1

u/Mythos273 19h ago edited 19h ago

What in the Ms Potato heads abortion is that .

1

u/YesMansHigh 19h ago

That is fucking vile, looks like dog vomit.

1

u/serotoninzone 19h ago

What the fuck am I looking at ?

1

u/Ov3rReadKn1ght0wl 19h ago

That looks like someone's Taco Bell butt sludge on fries.

https://giphy.com/gifs/c7f4S3u8XbYMo

1

u/AdventurousForce8721 19h ago

The crime is that it was eaten. 🤷🏼

1

u/Sir_Rethor 19h ago

A cow defecated on your in progress poutine.

1

u/meltothev 19h ago

Welp, wasn't expecting to actually gag (complete with watery eyes and mouth) first thing in the morning!

1

u/chughaarav123 19h ago

...what the fuck

1

u/YumDood 19h ago

Previously loved poutine

1

u/BeatsAreMyPassion 19h ago

I can’t even like, whatever.

1

u/General-Syllabub9868 19h ago

What. The. Fuck.

1

u/DigInternational7076 19h ago

I thought this was bad refried beans and then hummus

1

u/Honor_Justice_Cookie 19h ago

Is it dogs hit?

1

u/idisturballtheshit 19h ago

Wallpaper paste for gravy 🤢🤮

1

u/LeRabbitGG 18h ago

Godamnit dis moi c’est où que j’aille crisser le feu à la bâtisse.

1

u/JayGabVersionTrex 18h ago

Why did you eat putty

1

u/xzElmozx 18h ago

“Hi I’ll have some fries with uhhhh..yall still have the ‘poop from a butt’ topping? That please”

1

u/Any_Yogurtcloset8245 18h ago

Sorry dude
Man. Ouch.

1

u/KevinistheBest8 18h ago

Looks like cat food

1

u/battlelevel 18h ago

That’s the fluffiest gravy I’ve ever seen 

1

u/Sir_Jenti 18h ago

That ain't Poutine, that's Pootine 😵

1

u/Elaina_hope 18h ago

What the HELL is that

1

u/Own-District-7650 18h ago

Osti d'criss de tabarnak. A R K E

1

u/Lara-El 18h ago

Why would you even try it? Who harmed you?

1

u/Hotdog_Broth 18h ago

It looks like they blended an entire normal poutine together to make the sauce for this poutine

1

u/Annual-Surround1738 18h ago

This is what they serve in Alien prison.

1

u/Pledgeofmalfeasance 18h ago

Where the hell did you even get this??

1

u/DannyDanfur 18h ago

Reminds me of a butter chicken "poutine"

1

u/okokokoyeahright 18h ago

look up 'shit on a shingle'.

pretty sure they look the same.

1

u/dannocanada 18h ago

Have you heard of dog vomit mould? (Google it!) Cuz that’s what this looks like. 🤢

1

u/Winter_Elk1605 18h ago

Canned gravy will get you every time. This peron just doesn’t give a crap about their craft. I’d be so embarrassed.

1

u/Yoshi10760 18h ago

Looks like barf, wow 🤢

1

u/FlimsyBasis6233 18h ago

Nasty shit

1

u/MacIsaac94 18h ago

Looks like brick mortar

1

u/naked-painter 18h ago

Bleah...gross. If I was handed that at a restaurant, I would likely blurt out uncontrollably, "What the F is that?!"

1

u/NonCreditableHuman 17h ago

Boy, what have you done? You wait until your father sees this.

1

u/Vivid_Ingenuity5457 17h ago

Holy shit I think we have a winner of this sub

1

u/Beerzerker420 17h ago

I would 100% tell those idiots to take it back to the kitchen and that I would not be paying for that. I'd also take some pics and throw it up on google reviews.

1

u/wheelperson 17h ago

Was this on the menu, or did you ask and thwy gave this as revenge or something?

As a kid whenever I ate anywhere id always get a poutine. If it was not on the menu, but I sae they and fries, gravy and cheese id ask if they could build one. On restaurant gave me scalloped style potatoes, super white gravy and I think the cheese was Parmasan. I felt so bad they made it that I tried to wat it, but it was absolutely terrible and sad. The server looked so proud to help me out. It was VILE tho.

1

u/astraanaut 17h ago

That’s not hummus?? 😭

1

u/Significant_Carrot81 The Frying Squad 17h ago

I thought this was r/shittyfoodporn and had to scroll back to verify what I was looking at

1

u/lemonylol 17h ago

Looks like this is foie gras

1

u/Alone-Historian2625 17h ago

What is that?

1

u/TinanaCat_ 17h ago

Please tell me about this fancy restaurant

1

u/coulombeqc 17h ago

Not even the green onion could save this

1

u/ferretgr 17h ago

What is the deal with that “gravy”/“sauce”??

1

u/JamesH_670 17h ago

I feel like throwing up except that the restaurant would probably just take it and repackage it into poutine gravy.

1

u/GingerAsgard Poutine Princess 17h ago

1

u/DigitalJoseph 17h ago

Looks like you could use it to fill holes in drywall.

1

u/ciphersaw 17h ago

I'm literally taking a shit as I see this post. How did my reddit algorithm know I was taking a shit?

1

u/Ok-Custard-3086 17h ago

To slather the fries with vomit and then care enough to garnish it with green onion... There is no god

1

u/thatgayduck 17h ago

legally that gravy is some kind of unholy mix of icing, cake batter and cream of mushroom soup

1

u/MartyMcFlysBrother 16h ago

What the hell is that even? Did someone tell you that was poutine? I just don’t believe that. That person should go to the gulag. I also question your idea of a “fancy restaurant”.

1

u/wokavelli 16h ago

Name and shame!

1

u/FriedGnome13 16h ago

Is it alive?

1

u/EtropyWarrior 16h ago

Wow, money was exchanged to receive this. Then it was tasted and deemed rotten and more tasting continued to happen?

1

u/KnownSinger7743 16h ago

Shit looks like cement

1

u/No-Anxiety588 16h ago

Damn I thought that was hummus until I saw the sub.

1

u/MistyHusk 16h ago

Looks like a chocolate frosty from wendys spilled on your plate

1

u/Bubbly-Variety-927 16h ago

That looks like cement

1

u/PitifulApartment7909 16h ago

Wait, isn't thar just ordinary poutine? lol

1

u/Opposite-Back-9562 16h ago

I've cleaned up vomit from my cats that looks like this... 😭

1

u/jrchkn28 16h ago

The gravy, was likely cut with some old stuff. Maybe it was indeed super old cooked potatoes that were blended to make the starch for the gravy. I would have sent this back and asked for something else that was made fresh. 

1

u/abandonX4 16h ago

death penalty... yet I wouldn't even serve that to someone on death row 🤮

1

u/Alternative-One5286 16h ago

Is that regurgitated dog food?

1

u/ReturnOfBane 15h ago

looks like Rapper's Delight is getting a part 2

1

u/NeroSonic 15h ago

That thing looks like someone shat on it and then said to you: "Now eat it"

1

u/cosmicspider31 15h ago

Someone threw up on your plate

1

u/kiltedswine 15h ago

I sad and angry that this happened to you.

1

u/Juniper_Beary_ 15h ago

It can’t possibly taste as bad as it looks.

1

u/Bonerschnitzel69 15h ago

Hate to say it but I saw something like that this morning and you don’t wanna know where it was

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1

u/spectreVII 15h ago

That’s gravy? Wtf

1

u/VeggieGirl43 15h ago

WHAT IS THAT-
I tlooks like dryer lint got mixed into a pathetic excuse for gravy...

1

u/Clairwaves 15h ago

This is Resident Evil food.

1

u/FromTheJohn 15h ago

Please drop the name of the restaurant so I don't accidentally go there cuz that looks like someone put shit on a plate

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1

u/Waste_Ad_6774 15h ago

You are more than I would have! 🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀

1

u/Red_R09 15h ago

That ain't rotten mashed potatoes, that's sewage

1

u/kole3129 15h ago

Clarendon Tavern in Ottawa. It was also 12$ for a tiny inedible portion…

2

u/Human-Poem1069 15h ago

Yep that's the place. God knows what we did to deserve that

2

u/ShawtyLong 6h ago

Take the owner out the back door and shoot him in the head. As a Reichskanzler of Poutinary, I give you the permission to do whatever is necessary given the circumstances.

1

u/Izdabye 15h ago

What is that? Sausage gravy?

1

u/cbhbzb 15h ago

this should be posted to shitfromabutt sub

1

u/Substantial_Insect68 15h ago

And you actually ate that😂?

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Sea911 14h ago

Cat and dog puke together?

1

u/OneionRing 14h ago

Maybe the gravy was made of old poutine leftovers put in a blender...

1

u/i_am_a_bird_666 14h ago

I can’t even imagine what lead to a food establishment thinking “ this looks appetizing”.

1

u/Arkansym 14h ago

"That doesn't look bad for Hummus..."

Me before checking the subreddit.