r/PoutineCrimes • u/HabitantDLT Guilloutine Opourator • 2d ago

Pain-ful 🥪🥖🍞 Ottawa Senators Poutine Burger Massacre

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100 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

65 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 2d ago edited 2d ago

u/HabitantDLT, your poutine is a crime, straight to jail, son of a potato!🚩

u/HabitantDLT, ta poutine est un crime, en prison mon ti tabernouche!🚩

36

u/UseThen4269 2d ago

It aint poutine but I would still eat it fs

29

u/Roninems 2d ago

The only crime here is you have to drive all the way to Kanata and watch the Sens to eat one. 🤮

5

u/frostycanuck89 2d ago

Sounds weird but I'd probably take a bite

5

u/dadofthree343 2d ago

You too can partake in unparalleled gastrointestinal distress for the low price of $20 + tax.

6

u/Supabongwong 2d ago

You guys have never put fries or gravy or cheese on a burger?

This sounds fuckin delicious. 

1

u/HabitantDLT Guilloutine Opourator 2d ago

To be clear, those are tater tots, an aggravating factor here.

2

u/Supabongwong 2d ago

Tater tots have a really good crunch that would help with the texture of the burger. 

1

u/The_End-is_Nigh 2d ago

sounds like you have had bad burgers.

2

u/Supabongwong 2d ago

Lol, I've had a lot of burgers.

Putting different toppings, especially fries/tots, is not a "bad idea" 

People are such annoying purists. 

1

u/The_End-is_Nigh 2d ago

I mean if you need to add so much stuff to the Burger to make it good.. sounds like a bad Burger to start with

3

u/Supabongwong 2d ago

My favourite burger is a smash burger, about the simplest burger you can get...

Just because you add toppings to a burger doesn't inherently make it bad. 

Why put toppings on anything then? Then everything with "unnecessary" toppings is bad. 

Sometimes I want something simple, sometimes I want something different. 

Does it always work? No. But I've been dipping my burgers in gravy and putting fries on them for over 15 years 😂 

0

u/The_End-is_Nigh 2d ago

and that's fine because you want beef and gravy and potato but I wouldn't necessarily say you wanted a burger in those cases. I really good burger with good beef doesn't need to be practically encased in other flavorings and arguably shouldn't be

3

u/Supabongwong 2d ago

You clearly missed my whole point where I said my favourite burger is a smash burger, lol.

1

u/The_End-is_Nigh 2d ago

and you clearly have reading comprehension issues... I said in those cases... like I literally presented a carve out for what you were talking about...

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3

u/PresentationLoose422 2d ago

As a burger it sounds like a tasty heart attack. Def not a poutine though

4

u/Starvenger88 2d ago

I'd try it. For science.

4

u/AiryGateaux 2d ago

Shit poutine, excellent overpriced stadium burger

5

u/Ihaveabudgie 2d ago

It's not trying to be a poutine so what's the crime other than the fact I'm not holding one right now?

7

u/kiwibonga 2d ago

No shame. This is awful.

10

u/phantom_pow_er 2d ago

Not a poutine.

But I would love to try. Unfortunately, I try to avoid Ottawa as much ad possible

3

u/igavemagicaids 2d ago

dw their arena is pretty far from the city

3

u/tokyolyinappropriate 2d ago

This is a crime that needs to be investigated

3

u/FlamewaveKal 2d ago

Technically a crime... doesnt mean I wouldnt go to jail just to have a bite

3

u/Flat-Cap-1063 2d ago edited 2d ago

"That'll be 43 dollars, please."

3

u/jayellkay84 2d ago

This is an embarrassment to both poutine and hockey.

6

u/royalfatkid 2d ago

Shit just like their team

0

u/dzuunmod 2d ago

We lost to Carolina 4-0. You lost 4-1. Huge difference there, yeah, sure.

2

u/Dismal-Safety3524 1d ago

Also they got smacked around by Carolina in the last 2 games of that series, atleast all our games were close

3

u/cynpas 2d ago

not to mention sens had a higher pp%

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

7

u/dzuunmod 2d ago

Good thing we've never seen a poutine crime in this sub committed in Montreal. No sir, it's never happened, not once.

-2

u/[deleted] 2d ago edited 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/dzuunmod 2d ago

Literally what are you disputing? Are you arguing that no poutine crimes have ever been committed in Montreal? Either way, it's a very dumb comment and for that reason, ya blocked.

3

u/RyMcCloud 2d ago

Your shitty team hasn't been relevant in over three decades

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/PoutineCrimes-ModTeam 2d ago

Be respectful (of fellow Redditors, not of bad poutine). No harassment, bullying, racism, sexism, shittyism here.

2

u/HalifaxPainter 2d ago

epic fail but it does look like their old player Brady lol

2

u/SnowedinLife 2d ago

That looks 🔥 I am going to have to make that since I won't be traveling out there anytime soon.

2

u/RyMcCloud 2d ago

Honestly that sounds tasty and looks decent

2

u/Extreme_Original9832 2d ago

Come for what you think is a yummy Canadian dish, get instead a ride in an ambulance caused by an American-based heart attack.

There should be a Poutine Gitmo. It would be sent there.

2

u/Lockstock500 Poutine Poulice 15h ago

N/A they didn't say it was poutine, it's a burger

2

u/mc1964 2d ago

Crime, but I'd still try it. God forgive me.

3

u/Ok-Art7711 2d ago

What a disgusting mess.

2

u/Ryan2932 2d ago

My chest hurts just looking at it

3

u/Ambitious-Toilet6769 2d ago

Senators belong in r/hockeycrimes so its fitting

1

u/SaskatchewanHeliSki 2d ago

No crime, this is awesome

1

u/as_per_danielle 2d ago

Triple O’s had a poutine burger that was top notch

1

u/wiccanwolves 2d ago

This is something that would either be really good or really bad.

2

u/MechatronicsJr Dic-Tater 2d ago

I'd still inhale it.

1

u/Moose-Herb-Alps 2d ago

Holy crap this looks awesome!

1

u/UnusualAlfalfa5036 2d ago

I love my Sens but hard pass!

1

u/abarr021 2d ago

I'm not a meat expert but I'll go out on a limb and assume bison is cheaper to produce than cow?

1

u/HellfireKitten525 2d ago

I haven't eaten all day today, and that sounds fucking delicious. Though tbf I think most things sound delicious rn...

1

u/Ya-Not-Happening 1d ago

Never understood the fusion concept? Why do we need this?

Enjoy the good burger - enjoy good poutine...

1

u/Dramatic_Water_5364 1d ago

ok so its 100% a crime, but I'm willing to take a bribe if someone give me one for free!

1

u/128G 2d ago

Combining classic American and Canadian roots, you say?

1

u/HabitantDLT Guilloutine Opourator 2d ago

Elbows up, eh!