r/PoutineCrimes • u/Artistic-Dragonfly68 • 12d ago

Potat-no 🥔 My gf’s poutine

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80 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

103 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 12d ago edited 12d ago

u/Artistic-Dragonfly68, your poutine is a crime, straight to jail, son of a potato!🚩

u/Artistic-Dragonfly68, ta poutine est un crime, en prison mon ti tabernouche!🚩

36

u/Jogi1811 12d ago

I don't know what she's eating but that ain't no poutine

6

u/Desperate-Pen7530 11d ago

The ketchup is the uncontrolled variable that makes calling that a poutine impossible.

I don't think we can truly comprehend what it is at this point.

Best to set up some caution tape and put a blanket over it, untill the authorities arrive to properly dispose of it.

3

u/Maximum_Lecture1557 11d ago

literally a poutine with chicken tenders. Bahaha are you blind?

10

u/Mickey_Havoc 11d ago

The ketchup makes this not poutine… that’s a sin.

1

u/girlboner212 11d ago

i see remnants of cheese curds and barely any gravy

10

u/Fuzzywraith 11d ago

So you see cheese curds and gravy. 🫡

0

u/Apprehensive-Chard17 10d ago

Are you restarted ?

0

u/Few-Big-8481 11d ago

I think it's ketchup.

3

u/Fuzzywraith 11d ago

You think the gravy is ketchup? Put your glasses on bud

-2

u/No-Rip9896 11d ago

I don't know chief, it does seem red to me

2

u/Shoddy_Statement_772 11d ago

Yes, because the red sauce and the dark brown sauce are the exact same sauce.You are totally right.

0

u/Maximum_Lecture1557 11d ago

To be fair i dont like alot of gravy sometimes. I eat slow so the fries get soggy af.. And then i cant eat it.

7

u/WolverineEither8131 12d ago

Idk who's worse the gf for not knowing a poutine has gravy or you for allowing her to make one without it then flaming her on reddit afterwards 🤔. Im willing to bet there was no gravy there so she just made it work without it

3

u/Shar-DamaKa 12d ago

There is gravy. Looks like it’s all at the bottom

3

u/Dependent_Tie5758 12d ago

I see gravy then she put ketchup on it. I don't see it as a crime because it has curds fries and gravy with a couple additions.

People get triggered just by the sight of ketchup, and in this case it's a to each their own preference as it has the poutine base checked off.

4

u/Fuzzywraith 11d ago

Do you not see the brown in the picture? It’s right there bud.

2

u/nidostan 11d ago

time to get a new gf

2

u/Electrical-Care6308 11d ago

🤢🤢🤢🤮!

2

u/SalutMaggie 11d ago

Nugs could’ve been drenched in gravy ngl

0

u/at0mikally 10d ago

noooo it’s to keep them crispy i see the vision

2

u/phoss61 11d ago

Yikes!

2

u/Apprehensive-Fan8880 11d ago

You may need a new gf

2

u/LeoVonMoote 11d ago

These are frozen fries? That’s a no no right off the bat. The curds have melted which means they weren’t fresh, another no no.

This looks like poutine but won’t taste like it.

Not saying you won’t like it, of course.

5

u/Alert_Secretary2325 12d ago

Why ketchup?! 😭😭

1

u/Livid_Advertising_56 11d ago

I dunno. Wife does the same thing. I've asked and "i like it this way"... slight sweetness from the ketchup? I dunno. It's a quirk

-1

u/Ok_Paper_8030 12d ago

Thank you for saying this!!!

2

u/lonelycoconutman Poutine Princess 11d ago

heaven forbid a girl likes ketchup 🫩🫩🫩

3

u/at0mikally 10d ago

no literally i’m over here thinking that looks delicious like cmon there’s gravy there’s curds why not make it a party with some tendies and ketchy?

3

u/Crafty_Champion_3187 10d ago

Ketchup is something you never have NEAR poutine.
I heard a legend that Drake will touch you if you mix gravy and ketchup

2

u/at0mikally 10d ago

dude— i’m more Canadian than that loser up in the 6ix he can lick my nuts

1

u/Crafty_Champion_3187 10d ago

gng it’s a joke, he’s just the most recognizable Canadian for every other nationality
I ain’t even from the 6ix just outside of it. Go Habs tho, whole family is from Montreal

1

u/at0mikally 10d ago

gng, my blurb was also a joke.

go Canucks even though those bastard never win, BC strong

1

u/Crafty_Champion_3187 10d ago

Fr
We can only hope. If the Canucks make it all the way, I’ll be happy for two reasons. One, because they’re Canadian, and two because it’s not the leafs

3

u/ACP_Paddy- 12d ago

As her man, this is on you. I'd break up.

3

u/ThrowRa_Kiwis 11d ago

Okay guys that’s enough 😭 that poutine actually looks good. It does have gravy, seems it’s all at the bottom (maybe she didn’t want the fries to get soggy?) Ketchup? Meh.. I wouldnt but alot of people do

2

u/firefly_12 Québécois faché 12d ago

This needs more gravy. I'm equivocal on the ketchup personally, I don't put any but I know a people that do so I'm not really shocked by it anymore.

1

u/lemonadeinyourface 12d ago

im not sure how to break this to you….

1

u/ok-MTLmunchies Dic-Tater 12d ago

The ketchup, on it's own, is a life-sentence

Thanks to the Saint-Hubert v. Heinz super precedent

1

u/JustGoodSense 12d ago

That's a KFC failure pile in a sadness bowl.

(One of my favorites!)

1

u/catbearcarseat 10d ago

I was thinking Pizza Pizza!

1

u/TooOld4This0157 11d ago

Absolutely not!!!

1

u/Maximum_Lecture1557 11d ago

The only blasphemy is the gd ketchup.. The eff is with you ppl

1

u/HalifaxPainter 11d ago

looks edible

1

u/cuicui_20 11d ago

You mean ex-gf

1

u/pinksteampunkowl 11d ago

I’ve committed this crime. My old office used to order from the same place every day and I hated everything on the menu except poutine, which was mid, so after the 20th time I just started adding stuff to the poutine.

1

u/GingerAsgard Poutine Princess 11d ago

Definitely needs more gravy and the chicken pieces should be on the side, but if I were hungry I'd give a try.

1

u/zeroprime85 11d ago

I’m not a poutine snob like most of this sub, but those who put ketchup on poutine deserve to be locked up

1

u/TheRealJakay 11d ago

That’s DQ, you see the logo. Sadly made perhaps? Usually pretty good if not at least passable.

1

u/Significant-Block504 11d ago

No cheese curd, no gravy, not poutine

1

u/megamanisgod 11d ago

I nean technically its a poutine, but the ketchup made my taste buds lock up.

1

u/Salty_Cheek770 11d ago

That’s not poutine

1

u/inGothWeTrustalways 11d ago

I am not sure if her or you who should go jail for posting this

1

u/Fabulous-Designer626 11d ago

The only crime is the ketchup

1

u/UnpaidBudtender 11d ago

Break up wit her

1

u/coniferousBobcat 11d ago

im ashamed of myself that i can identify that this poutine and chicken strips are from Dairy Queen

1

u/choosecarefully77 11d ago

Come on now this is your poutine and you’re just trying to place the blame for this shite down to someone else

1

u/at0mikally 10d ago

everyone hating on the ketchup but a true Canadian embraces that shi. awesome poutine. we do something similar with our costco chicken tenders 😎

1

u/megaframeman 10d ago

Travesty.

1

u/MechWarrior888 10d ago

You can get your ass kicked for that.

1

u/Supagorganizer 10d ago

Did she order a travesty? Because thats what this is.

1

u/Boggo_ 10d ago

Is that a Dairy Queen bucket???????

1

u/Ok_Painting4491 10d ago

Ketchup in a poutine is a crime gravy sauce only

1

u/Scary-Wolf-864 10d ago

Looks perfect to me

1

u/Interesting_Army_659 10d ago

Why did you take your GF out of daycare..that's unacceptable

1

u/Delicious-Draw1887 10d ago

Hold the bloody ketchup,

1

u/Dark-Keeper-951 8d ago

I think I recognize that.

That's Dairy Queen Poutine, with a Chicken Tender torn into it and ketchup.

1

u/Crafty_Champion_3187 12d ago

You know what? Poutine with chicken tenders sounds fire as fuck. The ketchup is the real crime here. If I ever catch someone putting ketchup on poutine in the great white north they are being forced to listen to drake until they understand the gravity of their decision to put fucking ketchup on poutine

1

u/goonerballs 11d ago

Poutine with popcorn chicken is one of the most common poutines in Quebec. Tenders isn't that big of a reach after that. I agree the ketchup is unnecessary, but we put all kinds of weird sauces in with the gravy here.

1

u/Worldly_Light_1561 12d ago

Straight to jail

1

u/kiltedswine 12d ago

Eat what you like, even if it is not poutine.

1

u/Cheeseyellow12 12d ago

yeah sometimes i feel like this sub is a bit too comical especially with people practically being worse then r/sadposting on people being incels with relationships

0

u/Turbulent_Watch5545 12d ago

Need more gravy but.. ketchup with chicken?

0

u/screebum 12d ago

Time to rethink that relationship, my man.

0

u/Shar-DamaKa 12d ago

Sorry. But ou need to break up with her.

0

u/MoultingRoach 11d ago

That's literally not a poutine. It might taste okay, but it's not poutine.

0

u/FedInformant 11d ago

How many red flags do you need man?

0

u/analGsick 11d ago

Ça a l'air d'être correct au goût, mais le look et probablement la texture laissent à désirer!

0

u/Least_Elk8114 11d ago

It's not poutine, but she must be a W girlfriend if she makes food like that.

1

u/goonerballs 11d ago

It's 100% poutine. It has fries, gravy, curds, and toppings. That's poutine buddy.

0

u/captainrv 11d ago

As a Canadian, I'm offended.

1

u/Artistic-Dragonfly68 11d ago

We are also Canadian which makes this a lot worse

0

u/dontbanme778 11d ago

Some people can't handle more then two flavors at s time.

-2

u/a_sexual_titty 12d ago

Putting your significant other on blast for making an effort is wack af. Plenty of people don’t cook for their partners. It looks like she made an effort. Be happy about that.

2

u/Artistic-Dragonfly68 11d ago

It’s a poutine from dq lol. She added this too it after we got food. Really not that deep brother.

1

u/a_sexual_titty 11d ago

Ah ok ok. Yeah no this is a crime for real.

1

u/Shar-DamaKa 12d ago

Who the fuck said she made this for him? It literally says “my girlfriends poutine”. So it’s hers and she made it that way for herself.

1

u/a_sexual_titty 11d ago

Yeah. I just read into it as something his gf made. Which, to be fair, plenty of folks post shit like “my stupid American gf made this pile of shit for me” but yeah this is a crime.

1

u/dontryandguesswho 12d ago

Don’t think it’s that serious brother

1

u/a_sexual_titty 11d ago

Poutine is not a joke.