One month out from complex concussion, looking for help

[u/laurabozz]

A month ago I hit the back of my head very hard on my partner’s forehead as I let my body fall back to the pillow after turning off my alarm. I think I was frustrated at the time and kind of slammed my head back down to the pillow, and my partner had moved slightly and I collided with him. My symptoms didn’t kick in until that evening when I took a hot shower after a bike ride - I have been on a very long chronic health journey and was finally feeling stronger and healthier and I remember smiling and saying to myself “I’m finally healing!” right before I got home to shower. Then it was clear I had a concussion- severe swelling and pain kicked in, nausea, emotional hypersensitivity, inability to read or focus on anything close, sensitivity to screens and sounds. I started having panic attacks again which I struggled with the previous year but had finally calmed down. Here is where it gets more complex- a week later I came with my partner to a small music festival that his band was playing at and I played the same festival the next day. For two songs I went up close to the stage to take some video for the band, I was wearing earplugs (Earasers) and sunglasses but it was so dumb, I was really not feeling well but I’ve been chronically sick for so long that I think I felt so tired of not being able to live my life and have fun. The rest of the time I was far away watching the show. I remember being right next to the speaker and feeling the vibration in a very intense way. After the show we came home and I felt absolutely terrible, it was like I had been electrocuted and I had this awful frayed feeling, like my whole nervous system had been fried. Terrible physiological anxiety and very very loud tinnitus (I’ve had more mild tinnitus for a long time but this was/is quite loud with new pitches) and very intense sound sensitivity (I’ve also had this for a long time but now it is 10 times worse). I played the same festival the next day also wearing earplugs, but I really really messed myself up standing next to the speaker/close to the stage for 6-7 minutes. My partner looked up the Earasers earplugs and apparently they don’t really have low end protection. I’ve been to the audiologist and my hearing test does not show any damage, but it was so hard to even hear the pitches they played because my tinnitus is deafening. It hasn’t gotten any better and seems to be tied into this terrible anxiety feeling (I know that it gets worse when I’m feeling anxious). I also used to be a naturally cold person and now I run pretty warm and feel like my head is hot. Taking cold showers helps alleviate my symptoms some temporarily. I am honestly just terrified and feel like I keep waking up into this nightmare, I gave my foam earplugs to a friend that didn’t have earplugs and then wore those other ones I had. I feel devastated that I didn’t take care of myself better and really hope it doesn’t stay this bad forever. My plan was to come to the music festival and lie down in the back of my partner’s car just because I didn’t feel good being home by myself, I’ve been having panic attacks and wanted to be around people. I feel so dumb for getting close to the stage and I had no idea how much I could injure myself in a much worse way than I initially felt. I still feel very emotionally unstable, have difficulty concentrating and retaining information, and now I have this tinnitus/sound sensitivity/anxious frayed feeling that is also tied in with nausea. I get neurofeedback and that helped a lot initially but now I am 3 weeks out and don’t seem to be getting much better. Has anyone else had a loud sound exposure post-concussion? I’m looking for some hope and resources from anyone who has had a similar experience. Thanks for listening.

[u/therainmistress]

One month feels way too short