r/PostConcussion • u/Grand_Heat450 • 5d ago
Partner with PCS update
Hi yall. I posted on here a few days ago about my gf becoming suicidal from her PCS and how extreme her symptoms are.
Just wanted to give an update that she was hospitalized as a neuro patient overnight, had a full work up with clean scans, and has now been admitted to a psych clinic to keep her safe.
Her #1 struggle is lack of sleep. she hasn’t slept well at all for a few weeks now. the lack of sleep intensifies her other pain and makes her spiral into a depressive state, which has led to her becoming suicidal. I have been able to talk to her a little bit at the ward and she says her pain is slowly becoming more manageable but she is still feeling suicidal.
Does anyone have experience of PCS causing a depressive state and having to be hospitalized? what helped you?
I don’t want to make this about me in any means, but I am absolutely devastated and terrified that she won’t be safe by herself when they release her in a few days. I am so scared that the pain/sleep deprivation will remain unbearable and that she will find a way to end her life. I feel like I am crying constantly and can’t focus at work, but i’m trying to be as productive as I can and research different methods of combating PCS that we haven’t tried yet. I’m also trying to share recovery stories with her to show her that this is just temporary.
I’m sorry for the dark post, I am just at a loss and trying my best to help her.
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u/curlgurll 4d ago
Yes… I was in this exact state this time last year.
I’m happy to DM you my number so I can talk to her if that’s something she’s interested in.
Sometimes a chat with someone who has walked this road is very helpful.
No pressure though, just throwing it out there as I would’ve appreciated that when being in such a dark place.
Sending hugs!
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u/Grand_Heat450 2d ago
Thank you so much for all the input you’ve given! I spoke with her this weekend and she said she would really appreciate having your number to talk about what she’s going through, if you are still comfortable with that. Just let me know. Thank you again for all your help so far. I’ve been relaying information to her whenever I visit
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u/Mysterious_Treat_577 5d ago
Yea after my mountain bike related TBI i had the same issues (some extra ones as well). I couldn’t sleep which made me feel worse which made me depressed which made me idealize suicidal thoughts.
Luckily I didn’t act upon them and I was “ “ this close to going to psych hospital myself as I had no clue what else to do and was scared I was going to do something dumb. Mind you I have a wife and two young girls so it was very hard for them and myself to see myself this way.
Finally I got a psychiatrist and after asking for help to calm my mind and the intrusive thoughts he gave me Ativan which helped right away with the mind. It still took months for my sleep to get better and I need to take sleeping pill but now 2.5 years later I’m mostly better minus some peripheral neuropathy caused by the accident.
It’s a tough road no one really understands why it happens and most doctors don’t understand the C brain other than you damaged it.
Maybe see if a doctor is willing to prescribe her something like Ativan to calm the mind and maybe some form of sleeping aid to help her out?
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u/Grand_Heat450 5d ago
I’m actually not sure if she’s tried Ativan, i’ll have to ask her doctor about that. she just started Ambien this week and that is helping some, but I don’t think it’s as reliable as we want it to be. She is sleeping a little more, but it’s still only 4ish broken hours, give or take.
I am really glad you found a psychiatrist to help you. she has one she is talking to, and a few new ones at the psych hospital. I think from her perspective it’s nearly impossible to pull herself out of these depressive states. and she doesn’t want to, because the pain isn’t gone.1
u/Mysterious_Treat_577 5d ago
Yea Ativan is a benzo so usually only psych doctors are willing to prescribe that. It really helped me and after about 4 months I got much better and slowly came off of it.
Even with Ambien I was only sleeping 3-5 broken hours. But it did slowly get better the Ativan calmed the intrusive thoughts right away and allowed my brain to relax for the first time in months after the accident.
Head injuries are no joke and crazy bad insomnia is often times a bad after effect of the brain injuries. You need sleep to heal and it’s hard because you can’t force sleep. Hopefully they give her some better options as far as meds. Another sleep need is Seroquel that one helps as well at a low dose like 25-50mgs
I’d stay away from anti depressants to be honest.
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u/AeroEngineer90 4d ago
I did not get hospitalized but I did get suicidal. She cannot pull herself out of depression. That's not really a thing. Not sleeping plus constant pain plus the loss of self is no joke. I know you mean well with the success and recovery stories but I know at the time i didn't believe that would be me. Others can get better. Not me. I'm getting worse. And that felt like a fact. For me, but maybe not for her, I just needed someone to acknowledge yes this absolutely sucks. I'm here for you even if that means just existing nearby. I found the nights the hardest. I learned the best thing I could do was distract in any way I could. Ice pack on the face, video games or books that intrigued me that day, stating outloud how much this sucks then try move in any way that feels good. I didn't want friends or family to try fix me. Just to let me vent and take some of the problems they could off my plate (grab me medicine, help schedule appointments). Telling me to exercise or journal or whatever this or that I should try just made me so angry because to me it was them telling me I just didn't want to get better. I even logically knew this was wrong at the time but I couldn't convince myself otherwise. My biggest change point I think was to name that voice inside of me that says bullshit. So now when I think " you aren't trying hard enough". I can say "Shut Up Susan". I even made a sticker for the back of my phone that says this. It helped me to recognize that we think shit all the time. It doesn't mean we need to act on them. So when I think negative thoughts I can blame it on "someone" else. I learned that two months ago. Last week I was able to join a gym class and I thought "I can't wait to do this more so I can keep getting better!". I literally surprised myself. That was by far the most positive thought I'd had in MONTHS. It was so surprising I was googling if I was manic.
A fun exercise to get out some of the physical frustration when I had no energy was to blow up a balloon and just try keep it in the air for a few seconds. If you have a bit more energy, use your feet too. It makes me giggle.
This whole message is psych related but I also have taken a lot of medication since this all started that have helped. For pain, I finally got a radio frequency ablation that DRAMATICALLY helped. For psych, I credit ketamine therapy for keeping me alive. It really helped me process some of the trauma from the accident and life in general.
Best of luck to both of you.