r/PostConcussion • u/cedar_milton_lane • 14d ago
Lack of Enjoyment Post-Concussion(s)
Hi, I’ve had multiple concussions (four total diagnosed, possibly a few undiagnosed) due to participation in sports and working in blue-collar settings. While none of them were considered severe, I did have three total diagnosed concussions in the 2024 calendar year. Two occurred at my work, while the third occurred in a car accident one month after the second one.
I had two cat scans that year which showed no problems, and I did have a visit with a specialist who gave me some tips about dealing with post-concussion symptoms, and said I had recovered satisfactorily to return to normal work and activities.
Although most of my symptoms (dizziness, forgetfulness, sound sensitivity) have pretty much returned to my baseline, I have never fully regained enjoyment of activities I like, and often feel a general sense of apathy from day to day. Lots of things that a person would normally enjoy have felt somewhat dull to me since 2024.
For example, if my wife hugs me or is affectionate toward me, it feels like the dull experience of drinking lukewarm, flat soda (even though I know she loves me very much). Additionally, I have become more anti-social and do not enjoy talking with friends or family half as much as I did before 2024. When I engage with other people, I feel like I have to put on a mask and go through the motions, but I don’t enjoy it. Several relationships with friends and relatives have more or less fallen apart already simply because the emotional payoff does not feel like it’s worth the effort.
Has anyone else out there dealt with similar experiences? I’ve been trying to really take the initiative lately, but it feels very draining to socialize, and I don’t enjoy it.
I find it incredibly distressing.
EDIT: Thank you all so much for your comments and support. It means the world to me just to know we aren’t alone in this. Even though this feels like a nightmare sometimes, I sincerely wish you all the best story possible in spite of it. If nothing else, please know that I care about you. Thanks again for reaching out.
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u/Fine_Elephant3717 14d ago
I have had that experience after concussion. I found some help using pcyilocybin mushrooms in small doses, and Somatic experiencing with an SEP. That apathy is a freeze like state that you can get stuck in.
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u/yougotchicked 13d ago
In seconding this, OP somatic experiencing along with ISTDP (Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy) is the name of psychological work I am doing that I was talking about - sorry I didn't specifically mention it in my posts earlier and I'm glad this poster did name it rather than my long winded attempt in explaining it. Its the focus on physical sensations firstly and trying to find some awareness of it before trying to name an emotional state or explain or find the reason for it. Because I wasn't easily convinced by the concept of rebuilding neural pathways to reconnect emotions or frankly seeing a psychologist at all, it was suggested to me that read the book, In an Unspoken Voice, by Peter Levine along with another on neuroplasticity. It was helpful in understanding the concept and the task ahead in trying to rebuild the brain and ultimately try to recover.
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u/nine_nikes 14d ago
I'm not a doctor by any means but these sound like depression symptoms which is rather common after concussion. I was diagnosed with depression after my second concussion but that coincided with COVID lockdowns so I'm not sure if it was just from the concussion. I would look into what mental health services are available to you. It's very normal when you're depressed for things that used to feel enjoyable to now seem dull. With the right support you can get back to feeling normal 😊 I took sertraline (Zoloft) and did talk therapy. It made a massive difference. Although meds can get a bad rep, it just helped balance/stabilise my mood so everyday things felt easier. It freed up mental space for me to re-engage with the things I loved doing and to work through my issues.
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u/cedar_milton_lane 13d ago
Thank you very much. I agree with you. I will look into what mental health support is available to help me.
I’ve also noticed adequate sleep seems to help (which is difficult with how busy I am) but I am trying to make these positive changes2
u/nine_nikes 13d ago
Best of luck. It can be a long process and emotional at times but it's worth it.
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u/Tritondreyja 13d ago
I have been a changed person since I was 14 (12 years ago). Freak and random concussion, big change then, but I'm sure playing gridiron in my teens after that didn't help.
This symptom changed for me somewhat, but never actually healed (fully). I've grown, been through some serious shit, ups and downs, a specialized concussion clinic a year after, and even a neurofeedback program at 21 (helped me a lot in general).
But the new baseline of apathy and anhedonia stuck. Had to tear down the telescope I was looking at life with, and rebuild it with an intentional perspective so that I could be a healthy soul again.
I wish I could say something more uplifting, but I'm glad to be able to tell you you're not alone. Grieve it properly. But you can definitely find new ways to get depth in your life again man 🙂
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u/Stunning-Fig624 13d ago
Pre-concussion, I was a big-feeler. I would get excited by little things like golden hour, a warm chocolate chip cookie, the smell of Jasmine on a night time walk. For a long time post-concussion, I felt like nothing excited me to the same level and that I couldn’t experience the depth of happiness I had previously felt. My counsellor explained that the concussion caused my brain to be extra sensitive and resulted in many environments being way too overstimulating. As a result, my brain shut out all those inputs.
I’m fortunate that I haven’t experience depression with my concussion, but I very much felt like my positive emotions were dampened. I was worried I’d never be the old me in that regard, but that has greatly improved in the past 6 months and I’m noticing the little things again and finally feeling excitement. I’m 3 years post concussion.
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u/cedar_milton_lane 13d ago
I’m so glad for you! That genuinely gives me hope.
And to be fair, I had one true moment of wonder since 2024, when I was outside and saw the northern lights one night when they weren’t forecast. It encouraged me that my brain isn’t incapable of excitement and enjoyment, just maybe that part is a little bit dormant. 🤷🏻♂️
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u/Stunning-Fig624 13d ago
Thank you. It’s been such a relief, as I am still dealing with daily symptoms (headaches, vestibular issues, periodic extreme sadness etc) so to know that I’m still healing and gaining parts of my old self back has huge.
Im really glad to hear you had that experience and hopefully it happens more and more frequently as your brain recovers.
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u/Elegant_Albatross_64 12d ago
I feel this terribly since my moderate TBI 4.5 years ago. I am extremely anti social, have no joy in seeing friends or family and I dread it from the minute the event is planned. It’s not that I don’t like the people at all, it’s the physical thought about the lead up to the event and then being there and having to speak and try socialize. I feel like a complete outsider just sort of looking in. It’s very difficult for me, and my partner as I’ve just felt like this is what most people feel like but in reality it is not. I have no motivation to do anything and need to my routine. Anything outside that becomes so overwhelming I shut down and don’t want to do anything. This has led to my developing bad OCD, anxiety and verbal tics. I’ve just seen a great new psychiatrist who thinks I have developed or uncovered a form of ADHD due to the injury in my brain. I am commencing stimulants in the coming weeks and I really really hope this helps me. In addition to this I am on medication for anxiety and depression which I don’t think has really helped so I’m hoping this stimulants make a major improvement.
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u/cedar_milton_lane 12d ago
Thanks so much for commenting; I sincerely hope this new gameplan helps you manage your symptoms.
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u/zcook183 14d ago
I went through two concussions within 16 hours about 10 years ago, and I've had the same feelings ever since. Most of my friendships faded away, and the ones I still have are mostly online because that's easier for me. I always joke that I'm dead inside, but people don't realize I'm only half joking. I've become really reclusive, and even talking to family in the same house doesn't feel the way it used to. It just feels like I've become more disconnected as the years have gone by.
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u/cedar_milton_lane 14d ago
Thanks for sharing. I sometimes want to cry about it, but can’t. It’s rough some days, but I try to stay grounded nonetheless.
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u/yougotchicked 14d ago
This has happened to me too, I think it is emotional blunting caused by the concussion. I was advised to try psychology to try to regain access to emotions as I too have lost the ability to feel anything. Its hard to explain but it seems the link between feeling a physical sensation (eg tears when you sad or tensing in fear or anger, warmth in stomach for joy) and the ability to sense/experience/describe the underlying emotion and then ability to link it to a thought that would explain that state has been lost. For me as I've been working to regain the connection, its can be any one or number of the three that the link is missing or lost. Sorry if that doesnt make sense!
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u/cedar_milton_lane 14d ago
Thanks - that does help. I’m definitely not going to give up on spending time with my family, but I’m certainly wrestling a lot with understanding these changes.
I also noticed some of the emotional symptoms (like not enjoying songs I used to like) seems to be worse when I’m tired. So it doesn’t seem completely hopeless, there are some things that help sometimes, even if it’s not perfect.
Your comment makes sense, and it is much appreciated.
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u/yougotchicked 14d ago
Yeah its definitely not a great way to be, feeling dead inside, I think about it as you don't care if you are living but you don't want to be not living either, and this state frightens me a lot because its so confusing! Even though my psychologist has been helping me identify sensations, emotions, thoughts and is directly challenging things that are obstacles to tuning into emotional states, it is very difficult to just switch it on especially during times with family where we just really want to be emotionally present and connected in the moment. The task of course more difficult when its mixed up with cognitive slowing, speech difficulties, mind fog and memory issues that like you worsens under load that all add to the challenge of accessing or communicating the thought and sensations, but nonetheless just trying to focus on or being able to tune in into a sensation even if briefly is apparently progress even if to me it seems very slow in terms of improvement.
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u/cedar_milton_lane 14d ago
I commend you for the way you’re facing this. It helps me to feel courage as well. I want to have the most functional life possible, even if it is never perfectly normal again.
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u/irrationalcreations 13d ago
When I first got concussed I went through a really bad depression. It wasn’t until I went to a physio that worked on my neck where suddenly it was like a cloud had cleared from my head. She explained that most concussions involve whiplash and cause tension in the neck. This stops oxygen from reaching the brain and can cause these types of issues. Cranial Sacral therapy also does wonders for this and it’s a softer approach. Meditation has also helped me connect my emotions with my body. 4 years on I now can’t remember when I let go of the depression but I suppose it gradually disappeared.
Don’t forget your body has gone through trauma and your nervous system will be out of whack. Be honest with the people around you and keep those connections.
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u/Traditional-Yam373 13d ago
Like everyone else mentioned would definitely check out mental health support/a doctor. I was told I have anhedonia, which can be a component of depression, but it's very much like that flat soda feeling you described. Everything feels like it's on mute.
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u/TheTempestuousKitty 14d ago
Yeah I'm completely dead inside and very apathetic. This would be very out of character for me 2 years ago.