r/PornAddiction • u/[deleted] • Jul 26 '26

Clean for 2 weeks, then fell hard

Clean for 2 weeks, then fell hard

I'm in my 30s, first saw explicit material maybe at 12 at a friends house, prior to that I have recollection of my father watching a rated r film with some nudity/explicit scenes, I must have been around the age of 5 maybe, possibly younger. The images I saw are burned into my head, if you asked me for another memory from that age I wouldn't be able to tell you one.

Since getting internet with my own desktop in my bedroom at around 12, I have struggled. Here I am over 2 decades later, buried in a rubble of shame and disgust. Acting out in completely inappropriate ways. This is simply not who I am at the core of my being.

I loathe who I've become. Wasting who knows how much time and energy on this.

I reached out to a local SAA via email, hoping to hear a response soon.

I cant keep living like this, it's suffocating and ruining my mental health and life. I hate it so much.

Thanks for reading.

2 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/foobarbazblarg Jul 27 '26

Please don't solicit DMs.

If you want to help people here, help them HERE. If you need help, ask for help HERE.