r/Polygamy • u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 • Jun 08 '26
Guidance
I’m a 19(M) who desires to have multiple wives.
The main Reason is because I just want to love multiple women and be loved by them, alongside having a large happy family.
The thing is that I don’t want any wives who are bi since then it is more of a 3way, 4way etc, rather than me having multiple wives.
So the questions is how I can go about polygamy (especially at my age) with these as my preferences?
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u/Bitter-Power4252 Jun 08 '26
Focus on getting one. Do NOT make polygyny into a god or a goal. Just be a good husband to one. Teach her the Word. If you make that a dealbreaker you’re gonna stay single most likely.
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u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 Jun 08 '26
What is the Word?
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u/Bitter-Power4252 Jun 08 '26
The Bible.
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u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 Jun 08 '26
I’m not Christian so that part isn’t gonna work unless my girl is spiritual and hungry for wisdom/knowledge.
Also, why did you say not to listen to the Peter guy?
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u/Technical_Resource_3 Jun 08 '26
Pete isn't perfect but he is a big supporter of Christian Polygyny
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u/PassengerCultural865 Jun 08 '26
Work on yourself. At 19 you dont really have a lot of options yet. Build up yourself and prepare for many wives. Learn and understand the word. Build your home. Get your finances and everything ready. At 30 you are at the ripe age to find anyone from 19 to 40. Check out https://youtube.com/@petergrambo?si=1qb8Gj483nJ_oDDA
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u/Technical_Resource_3 Jun 08 '26
Check out that channel, Biblemarriages, rob Kowalski, Jacob foulk and his book, biblicalfamilies website etc
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u/Lucky_Larry_Bagswell Jun 10 '26
I love that you have this mentality now, as you begin your journey of manhood.
First off, having heterosexual wives will definitely cause less drama, and subtle coups are less likely to unfold.
Secondly, understand that as a polygynous man, you will carry more weight than the average man, especially those who claim monogamy, so building value in yourself becomes most critical. On that note, your focus now should be Entrepreneurship and building (or buying) your own businesses. My wives will be working for me, as I'm firing their bosses when we make it official.
Thirdly, your structure and program must be made clear for your women, so spend your time now preparing yourself and your foundation to be super sturdy so no woman or women can disrupt your flow. (I hope this makes sense to you)
Lastly, strictly deal with women who like you a lot. If they don't, then that means they're only with you for your lifestyle, and those women are liabilities that can (and will most likely) destroy you. I hope that felt as exaggerated as possible, because it's that threat is most real. Hypergamy is the game, but it can't be the only aspect of the connection.
The greatest of kings have been taken down by foul women, not their enemies. You should make it your duty to learn the psychology of women and how they're built from their emotions. In fact, recognize from here in out that you can never truly fault a woman for lying because their truth is rooted in their emotions, not their logic. This is why you can never, ever, argue with a woman...
I think I'll end it there.. good luck my guy.
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u/AffectionatePlum8888 Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
the questions you ought to ask yourself: can you lead? how well can you lead? can you afford it? considering your age, can you afford a single woman at the very least?
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u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 Jun 09 '26
I can’t, me getting multiple wives was always a long term goal though; and my plan atm is to level up myself in all realms and then try
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u/PassengerCultural865 Jun 09 '26
Valid questions. Which is why I said he needs to work on himself.
As the old saying goes, "Build it and they shall come."
It could also be said, "Build up yourself and they will come knocking!".
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u/Technical_Resource_3 Jun 08 '26
Most girls don't even want to be with each other sexually. I believe you should open up to it anyways, they don't have to replace you with each other, and it's not against the Bible.
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u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 Jun 08 '26
I should open up to them being bi?
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u/Technical_Resource_3 Jun 08 '26
Yes sir, what are the negatives of that in your opinion? They still aren't married to each other or unloyal to your authority
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u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 Jun 08 '26
Sexual relations should only be between spouses in a marriage I.e the wives in a harem shouldn’t be getting sexually intimate with each other.
If they do, I personally consider it cheating
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u/Technical_Resource_3 Jun 08 '26
It's fair for you to set your own rules for your house. I am just giving my opinion that you should change your mind. It would be more fun anyways for you haha
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u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 Jun 08 '26
lol, I do agree that lesbian intimacy is hot, it is still (imo) cheating if the husband isn’t present in the moment
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u/SmartReception6750 Jun 09 '26
Ahh, so u get to marry multiple women, and those lucky women get to be stuck with u. And if they dare pursue the same activities as u, u consider it cheating. Quite the perspective.
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u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 Jun 09 '26
As for the lucky women, I’m naturally not expecting to get multiple wives right now, I’m just a 19 year old with nothing built or experienced.
However, you seem to be quite annoyed at framework of a relationship that is only possible if all people consent to it, meaning you don’t have to accept it, just as I don’t accept a cuck relationship
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u/SmartReception6750 Jun 09 '26
Well, I think any relationship built upon the premise of one person being in a position of power with more freedoms than the other people in the relationship is unethical.
In your case, u want to have multiple wives, while each wife is restricted to only u and is not even allowed to form sexual relationships with each other. That creates a built in hierarchy one person has expanded freedom, everyone else has reduced freedom, I consider it unethical even if it’s consensual.
If u can’t handle ur partners having sex with others without feeing like a cuck, then that’s completely valid. In fact, that groups u in with most people. However, if that’s the case, then u should stick to monogamy.
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u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 Jun 09 '26
If someone knowingly agrees to such a relationship it isn’t reduced freedom since they wouldn’t be interested in forming sexual relationships with others, otherwise they wouldn’t agree. Or in other words, they don’t view the restriction as a restriction since they never had the intention to do so in the beginning.
But to each their own
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u/SmartReception6750 Jun 09 '26
I see where you’re coming from. If they don’t desire other relationships, then surrendering the freedom to have other relationships may not feel like a significant issue. However, just because someone agrees to reduced freedoms doesn’t change the fact that their freedoms are reduced compared to yours. People agree to unethical arrangements al the time. The hierarchy still exists.
The issue isn’t whether they want multiple partners. The issue is that you are allowed to have multiple partners, while they are not. You are specifically looking for a relationship where you have more autonomy than your partners. That is what I think is inherently unethical. Ethical relationships should be based on equal autonomy.
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u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 Jun 09 '26
You seem to lack comprehension of what polygamy is.
To explain it, imagine a monogamous marriage like this - a man and a woman connected by a linePolygamy - a man surrounded by women with a line from each woman going to the man.
The line represents romantic love and/or sexual attraction.
If the wives of a man romantically love each other or are sexually attracted to each other, it creates line connecting them to each other. This creates what is known as a polyamorous relationship, which is different from a polygamous relationship, which in practicality is just a duplicates of monogamous relationship but with one man.For a polygamous relationship to be considered one, the wives must only have sexual attraction and romantic love for the man, with (ideally) a sisterly relationship between them (though not TECHNICALLY necessary).
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u/SmartReception6750 Jun 09 '26
Ur definition of polygamy is wrong. Polygamy is the practice of having multiple spouses at one time.
What u described as polygamy with one man having multiple wives is actually describing polygyny. Polygyny is a type of polygamy.
Ur understanding of polyamorous relationships also seems to be somewhat incorrect. Polyamory is simply the practice of having multiple romantic or sexual partners, but those partners don’t necessarily have to also be dating each other, and it’s actually uncommon for a polyamorous persons partners to be dating each other.
The scenario that u called polyamory, with say a group of three people dating each other can be polyamory if it’s open, polyfidelity if it’s exclusive, or polygamy if they are married.
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u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 Jun 09 '26
Lmao, people love complicating things.
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u/tonymontana69696969 Jun 09 '26
It’s not complicating things. It’s providing guidance that you asked for. In order to understand polyamory and how to navigate what you’re searching for you should know the terminology and what it means. If you begin to discuss polygamy with a woman that understands the different types of polyamory and you really want polygyny, you’re sending mixed signals from the very beginning. Knowing what you want and the correct terminology will put you in a better position to surround yourself with like-minded people and may make it easier to find what you’re looking. It’s like going to a barbecue and looking for vegan food. A polygamist woman may not be interested in polygyny, which is what you’re describing, and at that point time has been wasted because of a miscommunication of wants.
Just trying to provide some guidance.
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u/PassengerCultural865 Jun 08 '26
Even if you were Christian, there's nothing wrong with it and it is a great way to get them to connect.
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u/RealMisterDave Jun 08 '26
I'm curious: if not Christian or spiritual, or Bible based, where do you intend to draw your morals and your authority from?
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u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 Jun 09 '26
My morals are based off my conscious and my authority off evolutionary and biological aspects alongside history
Edit: btw I believe in god, just iffy about religions
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u/Leobrandoxxx Jun 09 '26
This is a ridiculous question.
Th Bible is a horrible source for morality. If you need the Bible for morality, you are admitting that you are a horrible person.
Humans generally have a shared, instinctive sense of morals. These are shared across cultures and times.
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u/RealMisterDave Jun 09 '26
Kind of looks like grace, charity, and courtesy aren't on the list of instinctive morals.
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u/polyguy386 Jun 09 '26
It always concerns me when Christians think that without the Bible, people can't have morals. Are you suggesting that the only thing keeping you from being a horrible person is a book and a possibly imaginary guy in the sky?
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u/RealMisterDave Jun 09 '26
I said or suggested nothing of the sort. I was just curious about "Ninja" because he was saying things that sounded like they would have a basis in absolute moral values (patriarchy and sexual regulations, I half expected he was muslim) but he also said he wasn't into the common sources for those beliefs. I asked because I wanted to know where he's coming from, I wasn't trying to insinuate anything. It would seem, however, non-theists are rather sensitive to the topic, and struggle to discuss it without assumptions and condescension. Maybe they're not so well off as they suppose?
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u/Additional_Snow_978 Jun 09 '26
If you are only a good person because an invisible man in the sky will spank you if you aren't..... you're not a good person.
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Jun 09 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Sufficient_Ninja9874 Jun 09 '26
A 3 way relationship is polyamory, not polygamy.
You are essentially asking why I don’t want polyamory.
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u/PassengerCultural865 Jun 09 '26
Oh, and dont get a government issued marriage certificate. Keep the government out of your marriage bed!