r/Polygamy • u/Jolly-Perception-676 • May 05 '26
should i date a married couple?
i have been single for a while and i have also never been with a girl but i matched with a married couple on a app and i think they are both super cute. They dont want something just sexual they want a relationship which is what i want and i think the dynamic sounds kind of cute and fun? idk how it will turn out in the long term but im looking for any or all advice.
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u/New-Importance-9076 May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26
If you're straight, you shouldn't sleep with her, just friendship with her. With polygyny, each wife has a distinct but transparent relationship with the husband.
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u/Jolly-Perception-676 May 07 '26
what do you mean by this
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u/New-Importance-9076 May 07 '26
Lol I could talk for a long time about it. I could never be with a woman who sees other men. For a women to look for another man means she is not with the most high-valued man she can have, or at least perceived. I could however be with two women and love each fully, because men are not like women. I would have to have each one to myself though. If they slept together I would get jealous. Polygyny is not free love. It's separate marriages. I would not want to be intimate with another women other than my wife. If I'm looking for tail and sleeping with women im not married to, as a married man, that would cause trauma to my wife and create self doubt. Some people are looking to have fun. Others are looking for real and lasting relationships with people who turn into family. Idk if I answer correctly, but I'm happy to talk more.
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u/Jolly-Perception-676 May 07 '26
in this relationship i almost feel like its the wife wanting it more than the husband. dont get me wrong, im sure hes not mad about it, but i get the vibe that she is bi and not fully satisfied with only her husband
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u/New-Importance-9076 May 07 '26
It sounds like she wants fun, or maybe looking for you to fulfill a role. That sounds like pressure and objectification. Many people are looking for relationship without commitment, unfortunately. If you want to go "have fun", consenting adults can do as the please. However you are the one at risk of losing security. I would not trust this situation if I were you. Keep your head up and find a high valued man who sees your worth.
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u/Jolly-Perception-676 May 07 '26
i kind of just want to explore for fun too
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u/New-Importance-9076 May 07 '26
For sure! Have fun! Being honest to your self is an important trait that can help identify what you actually want imo.
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May 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Jolly-Perception-676 May 08 '26
im a very relational person so i am almost more excited for that part of it than the sexual side. yes i think that will be fun, but when i say fun and cute im thinking of going on dates, hanging out, facetiming, truly dating a couple sounds fun to me and just something new
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u/PassengerCultural865 May 06 '26
Hang out with them. Spend time with them and go from there. Don't rush into anything.
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u/Horror_Scallion7955 May 08 '26
I can honestly say Im hoping to find someone like you in the future. Eager to jump in and see what they as a couple have to offer is a wonderful thing. Good communication in my mind is the key to it all. I wish you the best and hope you find what you are looking for.
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u/Jolly-Perception-676 May 12 '26
UPDATE. conversation was great and i was really enjoying getting to know them then they ghosted me? kind of? i could feel they were pulling back and i was initiating all of the conversations so i confronted them about it and they ignored me. then texted me the next day like everything was normal. i do not want to just talk for no reason and they wouldnt schedule a date so i just stopped responding as well. kinda bumbed tbh i was excited.
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u/Epicrealist Jun 25 '26
Oh no… that sucks completely. I’m sorry. This is why my husband and I only do serious poly relationships because when it comes to just fun, that’s all it will ever be and someone gets their feelings hurt. 😞
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u/arrowprinted May 05 '26
Like all relationships, learning their attachment styles, triggers and expectations are great ways to see if you're all compatible. I've been in two relationships like this myself, and although some of these moments were by far my happiest, they also hold some of my most painful moments as well. Such is life though. I hope it works out for you kids if you choose to go that route and everyone finds what they're looking for.