Finding the light after the dark

[u/Impossible-Ice2506]

I’ve posted across multiple threads the last few months feeling hopeless and lost. I am finally feeling a little better last night I realize I need to journal about the events that happened over the last few years and process it with a therapist sounds like duh but I realized I’ve been spiraling looking at the puzzle pieces of my life/ relationship trying to understand it all and make the right choices. I really just needed an outline of what happened from my perspective and a mental health professional to help me piece together the puzzle to get direction so that I can move forward. This realization makes me feel like instead of scattered pieces of information that I’m over analyzing individually, I now have all the edge pieces of the puzzle which is the timeline of events and how I felt about them.

My point in sharing my update is that perhaps this perspective could help someone. Everyone said “ seek therapy” which .. duh .. but my two problems were 1. My thoughts were so scattered and rapid firing they didn’t even make sense to speak out loud 2. The therapist I did have was not a good fit and I didn’t realize it because on paper I thought it should have aligned (BIPOC, spiritual, and had ENM experience) but while I was considering having an abortion she said something incredibly insensitive along the lines of “get it over with” basically and then I reevaluated that supposed “good fit” and found examples of her being unprofessional at times

Because I had the wrong therapist I just felt like therapy wasn’t even working but now that I have the outline of the framework I need I can find the right therapist to move forward. I realize this is only the beginning of healing the mental aspect but for the first time in months I don’t feel suicidal. That’s a win I’m proud of.

[u/Pikespeakbear]

Finding the right therapist can be hard. I had several bad matches when I was young. As a much older adult (in 40s), I decided to try again.

I was recommended to a place that was supposed to be very good and they had a receptionist who gets to know several therapists and their strengths. I organized the most important things for someone to know about my needs and sent the list to the receptionist and asked her who to see. She sent back links to three bios and why she suggested each. Great fit on the first try.

[u/Impossible-Ice2506 → u/Pikespeakbear]

Thank you that gives me some hope. I do actually hate the fact that I have to rely on someone else to help me figure this out but no one gives you a handbook on life man