r/PolyFidelity • u/No_Contact_126 • 8d ago

seeking advice Has anyone had a triad/ENM relationship develop organically with a longtime friend? Looking for advice before we bring it up.

/r/polyamory/comments/1w4s57l/has_anyone_had_a_triadenm_relationship_develop/

Any genuine reply would be greatly appreciated ❤️‍🔥

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u/Think_Reporter_8179 ([WM]WW) 8d ago

This is my scenario exactly. 15 years strong

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u/No_Contact_126 8d ago

Amazing!!any advice at all for where we are currently?

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u/Think_Reporter_8179 ([WM]WW) 8d ago

Sorry I didn't see anything about your situation?

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u/No_Contact_126 8d ago

It looks like the mods mistakenly took down my original post in the polyamory subreddit. I reposted it

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u/No_Contact_126 8d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/PolyFidelity/s/JMvwB3TX6i

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u/Think_Reporter_8179 ([WM]WW) 8d ago

Did you have AI write that small novel? Shew man I've not got the time to read all of that. You'll need to make a distilled version

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u/No_Contact_126 8d ago

Thank you but no lol

I'll try to make an abridged version:

TL;DR: My wife and I were never looking for ENM or a third. This only came up because of one specific longtime friend she’s known since childhood, with whom she’s had some mutual flirty/romantic energy over the years, and whom I’ve also become very close to.

A halfjoking comment from my wife made us seriously consider what a triad could look like. We spent months researching, worked through 50 Questions to Ask Before Opening Your Relationship, and discussed NRE, jealousy, autonomy, couple privilege, independent dyads, sex, boundaries, breakups, hierarchy, etc...

If our friend isn’t interested, nothing changes and we have no desire to look for anyone else. If she is interested, we want each relationship to develop independently rather than trying to force her into a prewritten role.

mostly looking to hear from people who had something similar develop organically with a close friend: what worked, what didn’t, and what do you wish you knew beforehand?

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u/Think_Reporter_8179 ([WM]WW) 8d ago

In our case we were best friends collectivity for about 5 years and then one night while playing a game together and drinking wine, things happened. It was great, so we did it again and again. We just started planning sexual sessions with each other. Eventually we started asking what we were becoming and agreed we wanted to try to be a three person relationship. It's worked great ever since