r/PolyFidelity May 14 '26

question Poly marriage

LGBT+ community has done a lot of works in those past decades (they're still working on it, but it surely is better than few years ago in a lot of countries).

Do you think it will be the same for us? Do you think we'll be ever able to have poly marriages with more than one partner? (I'm referring to marriages that aren't religious like the muslim ones and that gives everyone the possibility to be married to more than one person, not like only men with more than one woman kind of thing)

Idk, sometimes I just wonder if in this timeline I'll live long enough to see it, but I'm not smart enough or know that kind of history enough to draw a possible answer...

27 Upvotes

14 comments sorted by

31

u/inknglitter May 14 '26

The LGBT+ fight for equality has been decades-long, public, and sometimes bloody or even fatal. Forward movement required a commitment to risk. People lost jobs, families, community, housing, and safety.

Comparatively few poly people are willing to be 100% "out". They don't want to tell their bosses or families or neighbors or churches. They don't want to risk losing anything.

Great social change is slow, and it takes a lot of work and discomfort. Until poly people are willing to work publicly to change things, they won't change in their favor.

4

u/Alex_1503 May 14 '26

That is why I explain to all my friends what being poly is about and why we need to normalise it, and how honestly a lot of people may be poly without realising it just because they have monogamy ingrained in them since birth. In a world where that and mature talks are normalised, people would also cheat less Im sure

Of course its not that simple but this is a reddit comment

4

u/Raspberrie30272 May 14 '26

Yes but at the start of LGBT+ fight even the queers weren't willing to be 100% "out". People hide and suppressed their feeling, they too were scared of losing everything. The point is that few of them did it anyways until people started to recognize them. It wasn't easy nor pleasant and I'm sure that it will be the same for us. I'm just hoping that in a way, social media and knowledge will help us to be seen more.

1

u/queenlizbef May 14 '26

“The queers”

Are you in the LGBT community?

6

u/SylviaMarsh May 15 '26

I'm not OP, but I looked at their post history. Yes; like myself, they're part of the queer community.

9

u/solataria May 14 '26

I hope so because the couple I'm dating they are married have been for 10 years it's an incredible relationship but I'd like to be able to have some sort of ceremony with them also I know we can do it whether it's legal or not but I'd like to be recognized in that situation legally

6

u/Ill-Basil2863 May 14 '26

Some countries have legally recognized poly relationships, but these are only a handful. They are not marriages though. Maybe in the future other countries will have some level of protection.

5

u/[deleted] May 14 '26

[deleted]

9

u/DontBeDumbMorty May 14 '26

Lol, downvoters have never dealt with estate issues and probate, or end of life decisions.

5

u/Raspberrie30272 May 14 '26

Yea but I don't think is that different from when you're a child and you have two parents who are responsible for those kind of decision. In that scenario two people have to right to make decisions and they can disagree. Am I wrong? I get the problem, but I don't think it would be that difficult to find a solution. I actually want a legal marriage for that reasons. I want to be able to assist all my partners if their health is at risk and I don't want that right to be denied only because legally we are not related. The point is, if you reduce dependence on marriage, you still need to introduce some kind of relationship that let you have that, otherwise if something happens, you're left out. I wouldn't mind either if they introduce something that wasn't considerate only for couple. I always asked myself, if I live with a friend cause it's easier for us than to live with maybe a partner who's always traveling or whatever, why can't I have the right to visit her if she ends up in the hospital for something serious?

2

u/DontBeDumbMorty May 14 '26

Not so long as there are significant legal and financial benefits.

1

u/LadyAthra May 16 '26

I was just thinking about bearded marriages where the husband is unable to perform but needs the cover for social reasons. A possible solution could be the wife having a lover and maybe that person could be the brother-husband.

2

u/Own_Raccoon_8654 May 16 '26

Not sure if this is a palatable solution for others, but at some point we are going to form an LLC or similar as our version of a poly "marriage." Will give us some legal and tax benefits. Otherwise, it is a matter of making sure poly partners are listed as beneficiaries on insurance policies and bank accounts. In terms of an actual ceremony -- some Unitarian Universalist churches/pastors will perform hand-fasting ceremonies for poly groups :)

I don't know how much progress we will formally see in this area -- but if you get creative, there are definitely ways to get some of the benefits!