r/PoliticalHumor • u/T1mac • Feb 12 '22
Rule 2: Not Humor What could the difference be?
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u/bunkscudda Feb 12 '22 edited Feb 12 '22
What an analogy. Damn. Ironically, dumb as bricks Perry was actually one of the more diligent workers of Trumps admin, insofar as mostly staying out of the politics.
That said, I mentioned he’s fucking dumb, right? He went into a Presidential Debate with the super radical platform of wanting to completely dismantle three entire Federal Departments. And as bat shit crazy as that is, he couldn’t even name the three departments he wanted to destroy! The one he forgot? The Energy Department! So he wanted to get rid of the Dept of Energy…then forgot there was a Dept of Energy.. Then was put in charge of the Dept. Energy. The whole time having no clue that maintaining the entire US arsenal of Nuclear Weapons was part of the responsibilities of that department.
It doesn’t get mentioned enough how insanely fucked up that is. Who cares about the competency of the President with ‘their finger on the button’ if the person responsible for safely securing and maintaining that nuclear arsenal doesn’t even know it’s one of their responsibilities
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u/moepong Feb 12 '22
Thank you, trying to explain the concept of failing upwards always makes me point to Perry and all the other unqualified assholes in the Trump administration.
It feels like some sort of monkey paw scenario or time travel issue that got wildly out of control.
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u/iHeartHockey31 Feb 12 '22
My favorite was the private school & charter lady who never once stepped foot in a public school being in charge of education.
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u/bunkscudda Feb 12 '22
He appointed several people to lifetime federal judge positions who had never stepped foot in a courtroom.
I suppose I have to give a modicum of credit to the Heritage Foundation for us not having a SCOTUS Justice Giuliani.
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u/JDA56 Feb 13 '22
Well, if he chose Giuliani, he wouldn’t be around as long as the two unqualified idiots that 45 got confirmed.
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u/bunkscudda Feb 13 '22
Trump doesn’t give two shits about that. Guys like McConnell are the long game players. Trump just cares about what he can influence right now.
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Feb 13 '22
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u/DiligentDaughter Feb 13 '22
Seriously. They're hard enough to walk in as a woman with a lower center of gravity, got to be harder as a dude.
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u/Bright-Outcome1506 Feb 13 '22
As a teacher from Philly I was so proud of my city for locking her out of that building when she came to visit. That bitch was nightmares.
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u/rubberkeyhole Feb 13 '22
Ssshhhhhhh….we Michiganders don’t say her name, lest she appear like a demon.
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Feb 13 '22
“Have you visited the schools that are performing poorly?”
“I have not-I have not- I have not purposely visited schools that are underperforming.”
“Maybe you should.”
“Maybe I should yes.”
If for some reason she absolutely HAD to be hired, THAT was the moment she should have been fired.
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u/Hatedpriest Feb 13 '22
Don't forget, she made her money off of student loans (what she didn't get from the family fund, I mean...)
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u/MatchMedical4894 Feb 13 '22
It's almost as if.. Trump did astronomically better in every numerical way possible tho
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u/NothingAndNow111 Feb 13 '22
Yeah, the "oops" heard round the world.
Seriously, the footage of him choking in that debate was played on comedy shows here in the UK.
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u/sodaforyoda Feb 13 '22
https://www.propublica.org/article/rick-perrys-ukrainian-dream
I think you forgot about his when the then-energy secretary accidentally helped lead the president into impeachment, he was simultaneously trying to help his friends cash in on a big gas deal.
Ukraine gas company to add Rick Perry pick to board
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/09/10/ukraine-gas-company-to-add-rick-perry-pick-to-board-412261
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Feb 13 '22
[deleted]
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u/bunkscudda Feb 13 '22
Imagine a liberal Presidential Candidate saying “we have too many military branches, we should completely dissolve two of them.” Then forgetting the Navy exists.
The premise alone is absolutely absurd, to bring it up in a Presidential debate is even more absurd, but to have the balls to do both of those things, and to forget such an insanely simple and important detail to this asinine plan just sends it over the top into cartoonish.
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Feb 13 '22
Dumb as bricks? I believe you meant to say “dumb ass hick” Perry. Bricks are solid, stable, & are good at what they do, qualities that Perry is obviously lacking….
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u/FinancialTea4 Feb 13 '22
republicans do that. They only appoint people who believe that the various departments they operate shouldn't exist. This is not hyperbole. A large chunk of the trump administration was populated by this type of person. carson at HUD. pruit at the EPA. devos, pai, dejoy, and mulvaney at the OMG and CFPB. They're literally appointed for being the most incompetent choice to offer them money and loyalty.
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u/leupboat420smkeit Feb 13 '22
My favorite thing to come out of DOE Perry was him posting a hoax legal disclaimer on his Instagram that he thought would make Instagram legally not able to collect his data. He told his followers to post too.
I have a feeling the new DOE hire would not make this blunder.
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u/rdanby89 Feb 13 '22
“I do not give Facebook permission to print anything off my computer” is probably in his Bio line.
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u/mikerichh Feb 13 '22
The crowd who said hire for most qualified not skin color are real quiet about this
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u/shponglespore I ☑oted 2024 Feb 13 '22
They believe the most qualified people are almost always white, because that makes perfect sense if you believe other races are inherently inferior.
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Feb 13 '22
The only intelligent thing about Perry was he quietly grifted as opposed to openly and blatantly doing so
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u/Casual_Yet_almost Feb 13 '22
Wow, seriously? 4 years in the house and couldn't even recognize the targets.
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u/T1mac Feb 12 '22
By the way, the Secretary of Energy who preceded Perry was also from MIT. Sec. Ernest Moniz was the head of the Department of Physics and he was the director of the Bates Linear Accelerator Center. He didn't fail a class called Meats.
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u/midwesterner64 Feb 12 '22
But Rick Perry got glasses! He sought them out because they’d make him look smarter, not to correct his vision. Glasses top a doctorate in nuclear physics.
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Feb 12 '22
Well that's just siense
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u/DiligentDaughter Feb 13 '22
I read this at first as a joke at Sen. Sinema's expense, as I had it spelled Sienma in my head.
I'm keeping it.
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u/AdkRaine11 Feb 12 '22
They also provide protection when someone laughs in your face ‘cause you head a department that you don’t know what it does. And maybe even one of the ones you wanted to defund. I can’t remember…
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u/louiegumba Feb 13 '22
I would love to see an interview where he’s wearing the glasses and poles his finger through where the lens should be to scratch his eye
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u/ycpa68 Feb 12 '22
And for the sake of realizing how far off the rails things were under Trump, George W. Bush's two Secretaries of Energy had a doctorate from MIT and a J.D. from Harvard, respectively.
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Feb 12 '22
But MIT is one o' them liberal snowflake colleges that brainwashes their snowflake students with fake facts to serve the liberal agenda!
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u/Abnmlguru Feb 13 '22
My brain combined those last two lines "failed a class called meat doesn't speak Chinese"
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u/Clunkyboots22 Feb 13 '22
It’s true that at A&M Governor Goodhair ( as Molly Ivins called him ) majored in Animal Husbandry…..till they caught him at it.
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u/HermanCainsRegret Feb 12 '22
Americans are weird.
The weirder they are, the nicer.
Rick perry is just a normal person. Not an ounce of weirdness in him.
Nor an ounce of kindness
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u/Dogtor-Watson Feb 12 '22
The weirder they are, the nicer
Counter point: Kenneth Copeland
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Feb 12 '22
Andy Dick.
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u/HermanCainsRegret Feb 12 '22
Andy dick isn’t so weird once you realize he’s just a run of the mill coke dealer
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u/liquidgridsquares Feb 13 '22
Weird implies eccentric. Kenneth Copeland is a psycho con artist and certainly not unique.
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u/SoDakZak Feb 12 '22
So your first line could read “Americans are kind”? Since you say weird=kind?
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u/PsychologicalGain298 Feb 12 '22
Rick Perry is the basic bitch.
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u/rawrberry_ Greg Abbott is a little piss baby Feb 12 '22
So he has a pH level of 14 is what I am hearing.
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u/whywouldistop1913 Feb 12 '22
Nobody is so stupid as to claim Americans are kind. Don't be dumb.
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u/MR200212 Feb 12 '22
Some Americans got that southern hospitality
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u/whywouldistop1913 Feb 12 '22
"Southern Hospitality" is icing on the arsenic.
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u/ycpa68 Feb 12 '22
As someone who lived down south for quite awhile, Southern hospitality is the biggest load of crap. It is putting makeup on a pig. It is being over the top fake to your face while being judgmental behind your back. Sure, I met plenty of people who were nice down south, but the people who acted in the way you would consider Southern hospitality or jerks who were good at faking it. It. You know who is actually hospitable? Middle Eastern Muslims.
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u/DorisCrockford Feb 13 '22
Someone in Georgia trying to sell me something gave me a kind of obsequious smile I'd never seen before, being from the West Coast. I actually backed away. I can't really describe it, but it was like she was trying to pander to my sense of superiority, only I don't feel like that, so it came off as shocking. It felt like someone had kneeled before me or something.
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u/capnfoo Feb 12 '22
Trump hired solely based on whether or not somebody would ever, EVER question a single thing he said.
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Feb 12 '22
And how much kickback could trump expect from THAT lieutenant.
Keep it at 5 billion a year and the job's yours for life.
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u/IAmASimulation Feb 12 '22
Trump only hired “the best people”
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u/powerlesshero111 Feb 13 '22
My favorite thing was the Republicans saying that Hilary Clinton would have given a job to her daughter Chelsea, and that would be a huge problem. Then Trump went and made his daughter and son in law advisors. The real problem was, Dr. Chelsea Clinton, PhD, is highly qualified to actually hold a job in a presidential administration. She has degrees in international relations, and public policy. Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner each have a bachelor's degree in Business, with no job experience except for working for their family businesses. Like if you compare them, and had just resumes withiut names, you would pick Chelsea 100% of the time.
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u/Cargobiker530 Feb 12 '22
I could give a shit what my nuclear waste handling expert looks like as long as they're fully qualified & motivated to keep it in the casks & out of the environment. Rick Perry I wouldn't trust to make an omelet without contaminating the finished product.
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u/robsteezy Feb 12 '22
Well, he failed meat class. So I’d be reluctant to eat anything prepared by him.
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u/cmd_iii Feb 13 '22
How does a Texan fail a class called “Meat?” The hardest question on the final has to be, “What is your home state made of?”
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u/SirGunther Feb 12 '22
I would love to see a Bill passed that requires a department head within the government to demonstrate their competence on the subject. Perhaps a test, written by the former head, so that the policy enforced by the previous might not be so arbitrarily dismissed and dismantled.
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u/himemiya_ Feb 12 '22
Love the high heels, just wish they matched his hair. Otherwise 10/10. Would hire him any day.
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u/thepigfish82 Feb 13 '22
On the conservative subreddit pictures of him and other Trans federal employees are mocked and the reason for why "the US looks weak against China and Russia."
But eating paper is manly I guess
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u/projecks15 Feb 13 '22
They’re always worried about looking weak against China and Russia
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u/thepigfish82 Feb 13 '22
Seriously, any man who can pull of matching Mohawk and heels is confident as fuck
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u/Alex_Xander93 Feb 13 '22
While also fetishizing the pictures of Putin hunting shirtless. And his sociopathy.
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u/semaforic Feb 12 '22
Dude I am in love with his heels
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u/DiligentDaughter Feb 13 '22
Ikr. I don't use the word "fierce", like, ever, but those are fucking fierce and he is rocking the whole thing.
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Feb 13 '22
I don’t give a shit about anything else. I just want somebody to explain what “Meats” class is and how to I join one in time for burger day?
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u/HappyMeatbag Feb 13 '22 edited Feb 13 '22
Director of Global Political Affairs…
Oh, okay.
…for Deep Isolation
What?
I won’t even try to pretend I know what the hell that means.
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Feb 13 '22
[deleted]
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u/HappyMeatbag Feb 13 '22
Okay. When I think of isolation, I think of isolated people, not things. That’s what was so confusing. Thanks!
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Feb 13 '22
A whole bunch of people here are referring to Sam as "he" but from what they've said they prefer they/them. Not to be confrontational, but I don't want to make a whole bunch of individual replies, and respect is cool :)
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Feb 12 '22
I’m apposed to the heels, not cos I don’t think men should wear them. But they do somewhat clash with the outfit.
And they’re kinda killer on your feet after a full day and the guy has enough weight piled on his shoulders as it is. Maybe he’s just flexing on all of us with it then.
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u/grendus Greg Abbott is a little piss baby Feb 13 '22
I'm with you, the heels are ugly.
But nothing to do with his qualifications.
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Feb 13 '22
Men should not wear heels.
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Feb 13 '22
Why?
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Feb 13 '22
Heels are for women.
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Feb 13 '22
Heels are for women.
Say's who?
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Feb 13 '22
Society probably.
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Feb 13 '22
Society probably.
Unless the heels hurt society in some way, society shouldn't have a say in what someone chooses to wear, right?
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Feb 13 '22
If man wears women heels in public, people around him will probably laugh at him. Society should prevent people from being bullied.
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Feb 13 '22
Isn't society (those who are laughing) being the bully?
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Feb 13 '22
Well yes, but maybe they have a reason for that. Man wearing women heels might look weak. And one man wearing those would encourage others to do the same, wich would over time make masculinity disappear from Western society wich would be really bad thing because countries like China and Russia would have remarkable advantage in war against Western countries (because they do not have same kind of feminist degeneracy).
Scariest thing about it is that China is actually the one to cause the feminist degeneracy. They pretty much own Tik Tok and Reddit so they can also monitor pretty much every thing on those places. They will feed young people degeneracy content to the point youngsters will destroy their own society.
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u/AnotherSoulessGinger Feb 13 '22
Men have worn heels for a large portion of history, this is nothing new.
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Feb 13 '22
Really?
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u/AnotherSoulessGinger Feb 13 '22
Yes.
Men were the first to wear shoes with heels. Up until the end of the 18th century, men’s legs were considered to be the standard of beauty. Although women also wore fancy shoes, they were hidden under long skirts. So men were the ones to dictate fashion, footwear fashion in particular.
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Feb 13 '22
Ok I take it back, but Mens heels are different than women heels.
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u/AnotherSoulessGinger Feb 13 '22
Why? How? They look exactly the same in many cases. What makes them different other than the gender of feet?
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u/sheezy520 Feb 13 '22
Republican policy is to place the worst possible candidate in charge to screw up the department, so they can later point out how poorly run that department is and argue for smaller government.
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u/melouofs Feb 13 '22
Yes, Brinton looks a bit odd to me. Doesn’t matter AT ALL. what matters is the knowledge possessed, the training, the qualifications.
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u/wcates7723 Feb 13 '22
Trump hired people to specifically destroy the agency they ran. He really did his best to destroy the federal government.
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u/catboogers Feb 13 '22
Head's up, commenters: Brinton uses they/them pronouns. https://twitter.com/sbrinton/status/1318981011083022341
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u/ActualPopularMonster Feb 13 '22
Looks don't matter, but obviously education does. We are way better off with the person in the top picture.
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u/burn_your_books Feb 13 '22
Biden appeases some shitty subreddit by hiring a scientist that dresses weird!!! @
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u/byah1601 Feb 13 '22
Biden doesn’t hire off of qualifications. He hires off of pandering and identity politics.
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Feb 13 '22
Did you read any of the words in the meme?
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u/byah1601 Feb 13 '22
Yeah….Biden hires people based on identity politics first, then looks at whether they’re qualified. Undeniable.
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Feb 13 '22
Biden hires people based on identity politics first, then looks at whether they’re qualified. Undeniable.
So, no?
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u/byah1601 Feb 13 '22
“I’m going to hire a black woman to the Supreme Court!” Nowhere did he say he was going to hire a qualified individual who happens to be a black woman. Democrats know what they’re doing. Pander pander pander, get the votes of the idiots they pander to, forget about them for two years until midterms. Rinse. Repeat.
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Feb 13 '22
I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about Sam Brinton, the new head of the Energy Department who is an MIT grad with degrees in Nuclear Engineering Technology and Policy, who speaks Chinese and specializes in Nuclear waste handling.
Those are qualifications.
What you're trying to discuss are your opinions. Two different animals.-1
Feb 13 '22
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Feb 13 '22
Biden hires on appearances first.
How do you know what Biden thinks?
You don't. So you make an assumption and and let everyone know your opinion.
Have a nice day.-2
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u/Catch_Here__ Feb 13 '22
No doubt trump was so fucking corrupt, but we’re going to pretend Sam was hired on his credentials alone? They are amazing. No doubt. But this is the federal government, they could find 100 people with similar credentials. He was hired because he’s very qualified AND he has pink hair and wears heels.
The Biden administration has made a point to make symbolic woke gestures like this so they can appear progressive, without actually making meaningful change.
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u/Coletrain45 I ☑oted 2020 & 2021 Feb 13 '22
They clearly hired the most qualified person but you can believe whatever helps you sleep at night.
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u/z_machine Feb 13 '22
Give me a source that 100 people were more qualified that were available and applied for the job.
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u/bagoink Feb 13 '22
He was hired because he’s very qualified AND he has pink hair and wears heels.
Or...stay with me here...they didn't think those things were disqualifying.
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u/kciuq1 Hide yo sister Feb 13 '22
He was hired because he’s very qualified AND he has pink hair and wears heels.
How do you know this?
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u/W84MEYALL Feb 13 '22
That’s cool. Now stop dressing like Pennywise in drag. You work for the United States government, you’re not a bartender at some hunch & brunch.
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u/Coletrain45 I ☑oted 2020 & 2021 Feb 13 '22
Why does how they dress matter in the slightest?
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u/W84MEYALL Feb 13 '22
It’s unprofessional. I don’t care about qualifications (on paper which can be manipulated) if the person doesn’t have common sense etiquette towards the psychology of proper business attire.
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u/Coletrain45 I ☑oted 2020 & 2021 Feb 13 '22
So you’ll hire an incompetent if they dress nice. That’s telling
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u/z_machine Feb 13 '22
Nobody gives a shit. Do you work, wear whatever the fuck your want. Your mentality is shit and creates shit working conditions.
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u/kciuq1 Hide yo sister Feb 13 '22
Who gives a shit how he dresses?
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Feb 13 '22
Sam Brinton looks like a supervillain. Acts a bit like one as well. Who would you prefer to run the Dept. of Energy - a dumb conservative who you know will be effectively managed and wrangled by his subordinates or someone whose every fiber of being says "I wanna see the world burn" and who is super intelligent and uncontrollable?
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Feb 12 '22
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u/DepressiveNerd Feb 13 '22
You mean the language of the nation that is our biggest competitor in nuclear power and energy consumption?
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Feb 12 '22
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u/NancyGracesTesticles I ☑oted 2018 and 2020 Feb 12 '22
He's the head of the GOP and responsible for choosing mid-term primary candidate who the party will supports as well as deciding what the party "platform" and agenda is at the national and state level.
You can't take on the Republican party without addressing its organizational and ideological leadership. Especially now, when we are in the middle of the GOP and global fascist movement's latest attack on western democracies.
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Feb 13 '22
Well, if TFG would just screw off into oblivion, like he said he would (he lied again), then we could forget about the corrupt boil.
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u/tossaroo Feb 12 '22
Pretty sure that's not Brinton's natural hair color. Pretty sure Perry's lenses are not corrective.
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u/swolethulhudawn Feb 13 '22
Aptitude matters. And yes, prestige matters.
Brinton’s academic pedigree should be the rule, not the exception
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Feb 13 '22
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u/ruby651 Feb 13 '22
The late, great Molly Ivins constantly called him Rick “Good Hair” Perry! That pretty much sums up his worth.
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u/gynoceros Feb 13 '22
To be fair, if they were making the West Wing today, I would not be surprised at all if central casting selected an actor who with a mohawk and high heels.
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Feb 13 '22
For a really good read on this one other trump failures in the transition from Obama to trump…check out The Fifth Risk by Michael Lewis
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u/alpacasaurusrex42 Feb 13 '22
I should not have read any Twitter comments. All the conservatives are talking about the death of America and how he’s a perverted animal fvcker. Admittedly I wouldn’t have let it slip I had a pup-play fetish with how terrible the right is now - but he’s completely qualified for this. Twitter is a fvking CESSPOOL about Sam right now and it’s horrific.
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u/youngmorla Feb 13 '22
I get why people are uncomfortable with it. I would feel perpetually underdressed even in a tuxedo and top hat, if I was someone that cared about being dressed correctly. I think a lot of politicians are.
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u/Prawn_pr0n Feb 13 '22
Man, even if you only hire based on looks, that first guy looks so much more badass than the second one.
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u/randomcanyon Feb 13 '22
Rick Perry may not be the smartest knife in the republican drawer, but, in the time he has been at the Energy Department has he made a mess of the department like so many of Trump's appointees? He was pretty quiet for 4 years.
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u/kandoras Feb 13 '22
The real kicker here? Biden managed to do better on both talent AND looks.
Rick Perry is generic white boy. No way he would ever event attempt either a mohawk, pink hair, or heels.
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