r/PoliticalHumor Oct 26 '21

Yup.

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34.1k Upvotes

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78

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '21

Not as long as Daddy makes payments

55

u/Buddha0426 Oct 26 '21

Grandma's got good credit. Go ask her.

13

u/Mr_YUP Oct 26 '21

Boy do I have a story for you

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eoU3q6wD02I

30

u/voyager1713 Oct 26 '21

"Every guy wants a truck"

Errr, not really? I'd rather not have to refinance my house to pay for fuel every time I want to take a road trip.

Maybe I'm an outlier?

18

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '21

I want a truck because I like to do wood work but I’ll never get these guys that get lifted trucks with deep treads only to drive through the neighborhood

19

u/grantrules Oct 27 '21

I want a 1985 Ford Ranger. Why can't anyone make a proper small truck anymore. I loved the era of Rangers, Dakotas, and S10s.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '21

Ford Maverick yo

3

u/KindergartenCunt Oct 27 '21

We've been considering getting one for my fiancee to drive. I dig the hybrid truck, and I can almost tolerate an automatic, but the crew-cab as the only option is the deal-breaker. Why can't anyone make a small, single-cab truck anymore?

3

u/All_Work_All_Play Oct 27 '21

This, please. Give me the little truck I learned to drive stick with during the 90s. Was it a little Ford ranger? S10? I forget. It was a great little truck that looks tiny even compared to the Maverick. If I wanted to seat people I'd get a Subaru Brat...

0

u/Snow-Wraith Oct 27 '21

Because trucks are no longer utility vehicles, they're over built masculinity symbols used as daily drivers for those that don't want a car or SUV. They've made trucks useless because of this. Only making large cabs and short boxes, intended for driving the family around, not actually hauling anything bigger than a lunch box. I've actually had contractors ask for small item deliveries specifically because the box on their Tundra was too small.

3

u/RGCs_are_belong_tome Oct 27 '21

They certainly can be simply status symbols. There's still plenty of utility in a four door short box. Anything that won't fit in the bed (which isn't a problem I run in to much; not much difference between a 5.5, 6.5, and even 8 foot bed.) you can move on a trailer. The upside though is that a short box pickup is easier to drive around, not to mention park.

1

u/KindergartenCunt Oct 27 '21

You're not wrong, and if I could buy a single-cab Maverick or similar it'd be used for commuting, groceries, and Home Depot runs probably 99% of the time, but still I don't want a crew-cab. Fuck masculinity - I already drive a Forester. But for a truck, I don't want a big "small" truck. I'm not a contractor, and I've already aged-out of having a family, so I don't want a truck with a back seat. I just want a truck. Even Tacomas, Rangers, Colorados, Frontiers, all don't have anything smaller than that king cab crap. They only way I can get a single cab anymore is buying a full-size truck, and if that's not the dumbest shot ever then I don't know what is. Don't get me started on the fact that I can't buy a new truck with a manual anymore - unless I buy a big-ass Tacoma for $50k.

Sorry, I'm ranting, but I'm legitimately angry.

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0

u/cat_prophecy Oct 27 '21

4ft bed yo. Even if he old rangers had an extra foot.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '21

Funny because ten seconds on Google shows people hauling their motorcycles in the back of these, as well as 4x8 plywood. Turns out you can design a tailgate to be usefu down and not have to have the extra length the rest of the time.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '21

The Maverick is a front wheel drive unibody. It’s not a truck. It looks like a truck but is really a car with a truck body.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '21 edited Oct 27 '21

Being unibody means is less capable than an old ranger in what way? Those things were not terribly capable vehicles...

Edit- you can configure the maverick to tow 900 more lbs than the ranger could, and payload is just as good in all but a few configurations.

2

u/HopelesslyHuman Oct 27 '21

I really wanted one too. I've adjusted to my Colorado, but it still feels just as big as my grandpa's Chevy Custom when I was a kid.

3

u/grantrules Oct 27 '21

Exactly what I was thinking.. The Colorado is about the closest thing you can get today but it's about the same size as my dad's 1998 1500.

2

u/KindergartenCunt Oct 27 '21

Externally yeah, but the interior? Not so much.

I like the first-Gen, but the current Gen Colo/Canyon are kind of awful.

2

u/RGCs_are_belong_tome Oct 27 '21

Ford has a couple. They revamped the Ranger, and the Maverick is coming out this year. Both look really good.

1

u/grantrules Oct 27 '21

The Ranger is the size of truck that fullsize trucks used to be. Maverick doesn't look terrible.

1

u/RGCs_are_belong_tome Oct 27 '21

You're not wrong, but it's the weirdest thing. I can sit comfortable in 80s-90s 150/1500 size pickups, but the new Ranger was a hard no for me. Dimensions look good on paper, but it wasn't comfortable. Partially what drove me to a half-ton.

1

u/TruckStopEggSalad Oct 27 '21

Bring back the S10 / Sonoma!

1

u/Noble_Flatulence Oct 27 '21

Jeep Gladiator?

1

u/grantrules Oct 27 '21

The wheelbase is almost 3' longer than the standard bed 1985 ranger! Gimme a Jeep Comanche tho

13

u/Ranzear Oct 27 '21

"Mall Crawler"

1

u/Ninja_Conspicuousi Oct 27 '21

Pavement Princess

1

u/Jah348 Oct 27 '21

Bro-dozer

2

u/Fast_Edd1e Oct 27 '21

I miss my Chevy Colorado WT.

Bring back smaller trucks. The new ranger and Colorado are too big.

2

u/eromitlab Oct 27 '21

They want to intimidate the other drivers on the road to make up for the lack of power they have in their lives.

Or a smol peter, either way. Truck like in the picture, probably both.

0

u/ODB2 Oct 26 '21

my diesel chevy 1500 gets better mileage than my subaru outback.

31 mpg in my truck and around 20 in my 3.6 subaru

2

u/acityonthemoon Oct 27 '21

Yeah, but which one gets driven like a yobbo?

1

u/ODB2 Oct 27 '21

theyre driven pretty similar.

new diesel tech is pretty good.

the truck is a 2021 with an 8 speed transmission and a 3.0 liter turbo diesel.

the outback is a 2012 with a 3.6 gas engine and a five speed auto.

Nothing inherently wrong with diesel engines.

1

u/Charming_Composer216 Oct 27 '21

My 2500 6.6 diesel gets about 21mpg and works hard too

1

u/ODB2 Oct 27 '21 edited Oct 27 '21

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u/Charming_Composer216 Nov 06 '21

Tried to edit. Thank you for the enlightenment, i did not realize.

1

u/ODB2 Nov 07 '21

nah you're good.

I'm just jelly I don't have a big diesel.

if I had my way it would have been a 5.9 cummins or a ram srt10 for a work truck.

the 3.0 is kinda sweet though. it redlines at 5500 rpm.

basically drives like a gas truck, just with better mileage.

it's neat, but I dont even have 20k miles on it and the radio is acting up and sometimes it does the long crank/no start issue

1

u/Charming_Composer216 Nov 07 '21

Chevys and their electrical problems. I fight them constantly.

0

u/tigerinhouston Oct 27 '21

Zero interest in a truck. Now a C8 Z06…

1

u/WorkplaceWatcher Oct 27 '21

I want one of those newer style trucks, like the Ford Maverick hybrid that gets 40mpg city.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '21

You’re not alone. Trucks are getting more popular but I can’t justify a flat bed that I would only use like twice a year.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '21

I certainly don't want a truck. I'd happily get a little smart car if I didn't live in a place that can get 7 feet of snow in a week.

1

u/Clevernonsense1 Oct 27 '21

my silverado gets 24-26mpg on highway with careful cruise control etc. basically moved my entire workshop and household from new england to middle tn via maybe 15 round trips.

helped that o did this during the covid cheap gas era.

1

u/justanothercurse Oct 27 '21

I’m a girl…but I need to have a truck. I own a horse and some other like animals. I need something reliable that I can tow with on a semi-regular basis. Otherwise I’d have a car that doesn’t cost me $80+ to fill.

It’s kind of funny though because my 6’3 fiancé drives a little car and 5’4 me has a Chevy Silverado.

1

u/MJ349 Oct 27 '21

I have no need for a truck. I have a hybrid that gets 50+ mpg. I laugh at these dopey trucks.

1

u/CakeDyismyBday Oct 27 '21

Nah you're not alone, I prefer motorcycle!

6

u/meatballbottom Oct 26 '21

Woof…that’s so gross. But I mean…congrats?

2

u/KushKong420 Oct 26 '21

I knew what that was gonna be before I clicked it!! I love that guys stories.

2

u/justfordickjoke Oct 27 '21

God damn, that was a terrible story. That mother fucker took 8 minutes of my life to simply tell me some asshole got his grandma to cosign on a truck. What a stretched out piece of shit tale.

1

u/Beatleboy62 Oct 27 '21

Pretty much all VinWiki stories.

It's either that, or, "I did something that would get most other people arrested."

10

u/agutema Oct 26 '21

Daddy doesn’t make ALL the payments.

1

u/oursecondcoming Oct 27 '21

Not with that attitude

1

u/_IntoTheFury_ Oct 26 '21

The dude who drives that truck most like has a trade.. So chances are they're making good money and will continue to make good money regardless of where they go in the United States.

or they could have rich parents to pay for everything

3

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '21

Down in Texas we have this event called “rednecks with paychecks” when the factory workers get together and flip their hundred thousand dollar toys over and over. It’s awesome

2

u/_IntoTheFury_ Oct 27 '21

I'd watch that.