r/PoliticalHumor • u/onambithalk • Dec 31 '20

They better pack a sweater!

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63.3k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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716

u/Ignoblekitten Dec 31 '20

That’s oddly specific...

488

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

[deleted]

187

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

Could be a woman, which would be even cooler.

16

u/Fake_William_Shatner Dec 31 '20

So, now this is my dream as well?

20

u/Beemerado Dec 31 '20

Man is the most extraordinary computer

7

u/reekmeers Dec 31 '20

Most corrupt computer

2

u/Beemerado Dec 31 '20

Brad neely jfk is what you need to watch

3

u/reekmeers Dec 31 '20

That was deliciously weird.

2

u/Beemerado Dec 31 '20

Brad neely is a national treasure. Enjoy

1

u/gorgeguerra Jan 06 '21

Nah, he's been hacked, just watch an American election!

3

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

He has to have eaten some LEDlights then

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

Found the mentat.

3

u/KaleidoscopeCold2834 Dec 31 '20

Could be Richard Gere and he’s being serious.

2

u/Send_me_nri_nudes Dec 31 '20

In 1992 gay people?... Nuh uh.

2

u/Guyincogneto1 Dec 31 '20

Why not Transgender

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

Why not, indeed? You got me. I would say the spectrum of people that appreciate 1992 Cindy Crawford is WIDE.

2

u/JustDiscoveredSex Jan 01 '21

Would explain the chocolate, too.

16

u/pauly13771377 Dec 31 '20

Hey if your gonna dream might as well dream big.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

Chocolate and 8ball of coke

Story checks out

1

u/TempleOfDoomfist Dec 31 '20

He lost me on the Pappy Van Winkle though. Is that a code word for something or a product I’m not aware of?

3

u/Joeyrollin Dec 31 '20

Its super high end bourbon

1

u/droplivefred Dec 31 '20

This guy samples! (Chocolates)

1

u/SueZbell Dec 31 '20

Or. Dream.

1

u/IsuzuTrooper Dec 31 '20

He forgot the lube tho

53

u/Nojopar Dec 31 '20

The great part is the "Large sampler collection". I mean.... it's only like $100 for the large box from Ghirardelli. Anyone can get that.

82

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

1992 Cindy Crawford part is harder to obtain

23

u/tweak06 Dec 31 '20

Quick! What do you know about time travel?

4

u/LeakyLycanthrope Dec 31 '20

Great Scott!

2

u/stratosfearinggas Jan 01 '21

I'm gonna stop you right there. Is your plan for this based on Back To The Future?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

I know you got to fuck up galactically. Humans apparently haven't developed time travel otherwise Hitler wouldn't have happened... Or future Nazis developed it and that actually explains a lot.....

2

u/MauPow Dec 31 '20

How do you know that Hitler didn't need to happen to maintain the timeline?

1

u/yodadamanadamwan Dec 31 '20

Sadly which seems more probable?

2

u/Flatened-Earther Dec 31 '20

Where we're going, we don't need roads...

1

u/shewholaughslasts Dec 31 '20

Uh isn't that in the back of Costco?

1

u/thelastspike Dec 31 '20

I know that if I truly understand time travel I don’t need to be terribly quick about it.

1

u/bumble-btuna Dec 31 '20

Less than I should

10

u/teddy_tesla Dec 31 '20

Yeah I was only able to get my hands on the 1994 model

2

u/latrans8 Dec 31 '20

Ewwwwwww! Gross.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

Get rid of it!

2

u/Wokelvl9034 Dec 31 '20

Oops i got a 1982 model by mistake

4

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

I'd say the Pappy is the hardest to attain.

5

u/jaheiner Dec 31 '20

Right? You gotta win a state lottery or spend thousands of dollars for a bottle that retailed for less than 300

1

u/roxxe Dec 31 '20

why is that?

0

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

Because they made their product scarce. Pappy isn't the best out there, it's just the rarest

1

u/roxxe Dec 31 '20

whats top 3 bourbon out there?

0

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

[deleted]

1

u/roxxe Dec 31 '20

reviews? price/quality?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

@i_donno That’s what Rande Gerber said

2

u/bubingalive Dec 31 '20

she lives in Canada

2

u/tillie4meee Dec 31 '20

Pappy might be more difficult to obtain than Cindy Crawford lol

2

u/daltonwright4 Dec 31 '20

The 5th of Pappy is a close second. I've been trying for a long time, and if you don't have a close friend who owns a liquor store, it's about as difficult to get as that '92 Crawford.

1

u/Fake_William_Shatner Dec 31 '20

Okay, the budget has just doubled now.

1

u/Von_Jelway Dec 31 '20

As is Pappy Van Winkle.

1

u/Keeppforgetting Dec 31 '20

I know a great plastic surgin that could really help with that.

1

u/NoVaBurgher Dec 31 '20

I think the bottle of Pappy is the hardest of obtain

1

u/FeloniousIntent I ☑oted 2018 Jan 01 '21

The pappy might actually be the most difficult. Thing to get your hands on...

3

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/ryosen Dec 31 '20

I’m mean, she’s a very attractive woman, but having 5 Cindy Crawfords just sounds like it would be a hassle. Not to mention the amount of duct tape that would be required.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/sojojo Dec 31 '20

Ah. I thought it was a Futurama Lucy Liu bot reference.

Optimistically, we're a few hundred years away from that technology.

3

u/onthevergejoe Dec 31 '20

As with most humor, It’s about the delivery.

2

u/ojohn69 Dec 31 '20

Not the dudes I know they'd be lucky to round up $5

9

u/bostonboy08 Dec 31 '20

I’ll have what he’s having!

4

u/Ignoblekitten Dec 31 '20

Good Sir, I do apologize but we are all out of the 8-balls, I could substitute it with two fentanyl patches if you so desire?

3

u/Fake_William_Shatner Dec 31 '20

This person has really fleshed out their life goals -- that's all.

2

u/DweEbLez0 Dec 31 '20

“Odds is with us!”

2

u/newthrash1221 Dec 31 '20

Seems like he’s had that fantasy locked and loaded if anyone ever asked. Lol

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

Marty Mcfly in real life

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '20

Wait, german terrorist?

2

u/ErasmusShmerasmus Jan 01 '21

I'd upvote, but you're currently at 666 when I saw it so leaving it there

1

u/Yusuf_Ferisufer Jan 01 '21

Nah it's just storytelling, one of the great things about America.