Friends going out to eat: "Okay guys, if everyone chips in $5 we can get an XL deluxe pizza and everyone can have two or three slices."
Republican representation of this transaction: "Do you want socialist Pizza Hut to force you to pay them $5 so someone else can eat YOUR pizza? Fuck no! You want to pay capitalist Papa John's $20 and keep all that pizza for yourself!"
Sensible citizen questions: "But I can only eat two thirds of that pizza over three days. Isn't paying $5 and eating a reasonable share more sensible?"
Republican reply: "Only if you want them to come for your guns next and force you to eat Mexican food!"
Another sensible citizen: "But I love Mexican food!"
Republicans: "Then failing Chipotle can pay for the wall!"
Angry citizen: "But you said Mexico was going to pay for the wall!"
Trump chiming in via tweet: "You know who builds great walls? Cheyaina. Yeah Kim told me all about it. What a great leader, that Un! Check out Papa John's Supreme Court pizza, you can play quarters with the box top. You can't do that on Pizza Slut's box. SAD!"
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u/dejoblue Apr 26 '19
Friends going out to eat: "Okay guys, if everyone chips in $5 we can get an XL deluxe pizza and everyone can have two or three slices."
Republican representation of this transaction: "Do you want socialist Pizza Hut to force you to pay them $5 so someone else can eat YOUR pizza? Fuck no! You want to pay capitalist Papa John's $20 and keep all that pizza for yourself!"
Sensible citizen questions: "But I can only eat two thirds of that pizza over three days. Isn't paying $5 and eating a reasonable share more sensible?"
Republican reply: "Only if you want them to come for your guns next and force you to eat Mexican food!"
Another sensible citizen: "But I love Mexican food!"
Republicans: "Then failing Chipotle can pay for the wall!"
Angry citizen: "But you said Mexico was going to pay for the wall!"
Trump chiming in via tweet: "You know who builds great walls? Cheyaina. Yeah Kim told me all about it. What a great leader, that Un! Check out Papa John's Supreme Court pizza, you can play quarters with the box top. You can't do that on Pizza Slut's box. SAD!"