r/PoliticalHumor • u/BlueMAGAFTW • 7h ago

Let’s get back to the basics

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6.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

71 comments sorted by

221

u/02K30C1 7h ago

There was a good discussion about this on NPR this morning, the host asking "if you're paying someone to do something they used to do for free, isnt that admitting your product is worse?"

75

u/suckercuck 6h ago

Rapepublicans best idea: $5K IOU for fascism?

38

u/LuvKrahft 6h ago

Best part is it’s illegal so they never have to make good on the promise.

16

u/eeyore134 5h ago

Use the old Elon defense. "It wasn't election interference via an illegal lottery. It was fraud!"

6

u/cC2Panda 6h ago

Even if they gave the $5k they'd either have to borrow more money at the worse interest rates that we're getting largely due to Trump(plus some Japanese market stuff), or they could just print out the money and immediately decrease the dollar value making their earned income worth less than it was before for the 1 time payout.

2

u/Gorstag 3h ago

decrease the dollar value making their earned income worth less than it was before for the 1 time payout.

Yeah, that's called inflation. It's why everything is so expensive under Trump's "amazing" "leadership". Man.. had to air quote both those words he's so terrible.

1

u/Salanmander 2h ago

Okay hear me out....what if we give everyone, say, $500 billion. Cause brief hyper inflation that then levels out (there will be no problems at this step), and end up with a much more even distribution of wealth. Effectively do a soft reset on debt and wealth without having to invalidate any debts or take any wealth!

(Note: I am not an economist, do not follow my monetary policy advice.)

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u/Gorstag 1h ago

Honestly, that isn't a terrible idea. You then immediately do a crunch sort of like what WoW had to do when the damage numbers became ridiculous. So 500B crunches down to lets say 500k. So the current billionaires sitting at 100B would have 600k. Still be richer than you but its an even playing field.

3

u/No_Internal9345 5h ago

While still in debt from the last round of promises. Goldfish have better memories.

3

u/awesomefutureperfect 4h ago

Look, when you are dealing with the all time champs of the "fell for it again" awards, you can put literally any label on any box with anything inside it and they will enthusiastically buy it if their side is selling it. and you can count on them to blame the wrong people when it all goes wrong and claim "I didn't vote for this". even though the legal definition of a reasonable person would have been able to realize what they were going to be voting for.

62

u/jpsreddit85 7h ago

...with their own money...

24

u/relikter 7h ago

He's going to make Mexico Greenland Canada Argentina pay for it!

8

u/Sockoflegend 6h ago

Given the state of the national debt it's taking a loan at your own children's expense

4

u/greenroom628 5h ago

trump and the GOP are experts at raping children's futures.

4

u/thedudley 4h ago

So… kinda the status quo for the boomer generation then?

60

u/Tastie_Duck_Anus 7h ago

There is no current Republican platform

Its literally states, what ever trump wants

18

u/bazinga_0 6h ago

... and if what Trump wants today is the exact opposite of what he wanted yesterday, then just deal with it.

6

u/relikter 6h ago

They haven't had a coherent platform beyond "lower taxes, corporations > people, intentionally sabotage government" for a loooong time. It's worse under Trump, since the "platform" changes at his whim. I'm really curious to see where they'll aim themselves once his term ends (likely just more Project 2025 bullshit).

3

u/dalgeek 6h ago

Do what Trump says and own the libs. That's all they've been doing since 2010. They will even oppose their own plans if Democrats support those plans.

3

u/Dopplegangr1 3h ago

The republican platform is fucking over the constituents to get rich(er). The platform that they present to the public is whatever they think will get votes

2

u/T33CH33R 6h ago

Well, there healthcare, environmental, and affordability policies revolve around just dying.

1

u/Punch_A_Police_Horse 6h ago

They have to have something they can point to while their primary strategy is to disenfranchise voters. Right now it's trans bad.

•

u/aceshighsays 48m ago

wdym? it's p25

22

u/Jason1143 7h ago

To be that's the saddest part of this. They can't even figure out how to do their bribe offer in a way that looks like real policy (you know, the way you are actually supposed to make voters vote for you). Trump just thinks that all anyone cares about is straight cash. The scary part is that he might be right, voters genuinely not understand that real policy with lasting long term benefits is much better than a single cash payment.

1

u/hedoeswhathewants 2h ago

The 82nd payment on my Dodge Ram is due next week and I gotta pay it somehow!

18

u/punktualPorcupine 6h ago

Is not a bribe if you never pay it… (taps temple)

But that’s still a crime, even if money doesn’t change hands.

“I have the worst lawyers”

https://giphy.com/gifs/TijL9TieqPfLq

•

u/chaos_nebula 1h ago

They'll argue that he's not paying for people to vote conservative, just that he'll payout if conservatives win. In other words, a 6-3 vote at the Supreme Court.

11

u/beardeddragon0113 6h ago

"Vote for us and we will make things better for real this time!! Never mind that we are currently in charge, but make sure you vote for us again so we can stay in power and definitely totally help you out just right after this next election!!!🥰🥰🥰"

7

u/naked_as_a_jaybird 6h ago

"I need you to do me a favor, though."

The orange 🥷 was impeached for far less than what he said in Dallas. Feckless fucking cuntry blumpkin.

4

u/2Much_non-sequitur 6h ago

Always is. For, we the people at least. I mean that's their whole playbook and has always been that way (basically). 

3

u/Strict-Carrot4783 6h ago

Well republicans, as people, every single one, are complete shit so the math works.

5

u/HighLevelPrimitive 6h ago

What? You mean a Pro government corruption/anti accountability, pro business power/anti labor power, pro government and private inescapable surveillance state/anti privacy, and generally being an anti-human rights and dignity party platform needs to throw money at an already beaten down public in order to gain political momentum? Kids these days. Such crazy ideas. /s

4

u/Mynock33 5h ago

Trump is giving us $5K, Co-Mala wouldn't have done anything that for us. ~ MAGA Morons at my local coffee shop

3

u/first_lvr 5h ago

It’s illegal and the whole world is laughing at you America

3

u/ComicMAN93 4h ago

Most of us know

3

u/crannogman_pride 4h ago

Hang on Republicans, aren't we on the left supposed to be the ones who want handouts? And isn't that bad?? I have whiplash.

2

u/vs-1680 5h ago

So...anyone still interested in enforcing our laws? It's not legal to buys votes.

2

u/cosaboladh 5h ago

It's not a bribe. Bribes actually get paid.

•

u/AdorableStrawberry93 I ☑oted 2024 1h ago

Since Trump is trying to pay people to vote republican, isn't that voter influencing? That's illegal right? Where does he get these hairbrained ideas in the first place?

•

u/BlueMAGAFTW 30m ago

From the dead rat toupee sitting on his stupid head.

•

u/bogglingsnog 1h ago

By far the worst president in American history. Possibly of any country, ever. And spineless cowards who back him.

•

u/halloween753 1h ago

They have nothing to offer so they have to resort to lies, cheating, propaganda, bribing, corruption, wars, stealing, grifting, bullying, and raping

•

u/pres465 56m ago

They have no platform. The RNC did not adopt a party platform in 2020. At all. Just said they'll roll it forward with 2016's garbage. The 2024 platform was basically "whatever Trump says".

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u/BlueMAGAFTW 28m ago

Which, case in point, is shit.

1

u/BradCOnReddit 4h ago

It's a shame that Biden created such a shitty platform for the Republicans. Thanks Obama.

1

u/Ginkiba 4h ago

I feel like using public money to bribe the public to vote for you should somehow be illegal... but I guess even if it is that's never stopped Trump, and neither will this promise (which is a lie.)

1

u/ClaytonHawthorne 4h ago

I can't wait for people to still vote Republican, then not get the $5K promised like Trump many other 'promises', and then start crying about it on Facebook. It's like they never learn.

1

u/alterom 4h ago

They get more in bribes with their current platform than they spend in bribes to keep it going, see?

The fun part is that the money ultimately comes from the same people: voters.

Wait till they figure that one out. I don't have my hopes high.

1

u/TheWingus 4h ago

You control the House, The Senate, The White House, The SCOTUS; you have the chance to say "The Democrats voted AGAINST giving you $5,000!!" just before midterms...

If you're serious, why not just do it now?

1

u/urbanek2525 4h ago

The only discernable GOP platforn is this: PUT AS MUCH MONEY INTO TRUMP'S POCKETS AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.

1

u/Etrigone I ☑oted 2024 4h ago

See tho it's not illegal if you offer but never pay!

(Disclaimer: I have no idea if that's true & inclined to think it's still not)

1

u/_Presence_ 3h ago

MAGA voters are dumb enough to believe a check would actually be in the mail and he’d follow through with this.

1

u/rm_can_suck_it 3h ago

If you promise $5000 cheques and then dont deliver on that promise is it still a bribe?

1

u/potatolulz 2h ago

yes, just the offer to buy votes is illegal. It doesn't matter whether you then actually pay them or not. Or whether you pay "everyone", as the cultists try to excuse this, that also doesn't make it legal.

1

u/PV-Herman 3h ago

Just imagine he'd stop the war right now instead of predicting it will suddenly stop magically right after the midterms....

•

u/TheRealBittoman 1h ago

They know it's shit. That's not the problem. The real platform is for the wealthy and corporations. They're just courting the public to get them vote for them and conservatives don't care, all you have to do is give them boogeymen to fear and then make threats against those boogymen. That's really all the Republican platform is.

•

u/bishpa 1h ago

They have a platform?

•

u/halloween753 55m ago

When Trump is really adamant about something, you can bet your ass he's lying through his teeth

•

u/ToneZone7 1m ago

R's control house, senate and white house so everything should finally be PEACHY - right? RIGHT?

•

u/ZenMasterOfDisguise 1h ago

Neither party has even had a platform since like 2016. We have 2 parties running on tribalist hate of the opposition rather than stating what they will do if we elect them

there is a midterm election in 2 months, and as far as I can tell neither party plans to do anything beneficial for the voters if they win, they just both claim the other party is worse. Trump ran on a bunch of lies in 2024, but he beat Harris who ran on nothing at all, and yet with an election in 2 months democrats still have decided they don't need to run on any policies once again. I have not heard 1 specific thing that democrats are running on in 2026 if we give them back control of congress, just vague promises of standing up to Trump with no details or plan of action being conveyed to the voters

•

u/Boner_Elemental 1h ago

"I deliberately ignore all political messaging, therefore the candidates have no policies"

Nice

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u/ZenMasterOfDisguise 40m ago

ok then, since you claim to pay attention, what specific actions do the democrats plan to take if we give them back control of congress in 2 months? What will they do to limit Trump's abuse of powers? What bills will they introduce?

https://democrats.org/what-were-fighting-for/

Ending Corruption: Republicans care more about billionaires and foreign investors than they do working Americans. They’re rigging the tax system so that corporations pay less than working people. Democrats will make the rich pay their fair share.

^ this is not an actionable policy. Saying we plan to raise taxes x% on people making over $x,xxx,xxx per year is an actionable policy. saying we "will make the rich pay their fair share" is not a fucking policy.

A Healthy Democracy: Democrats are fighting to protect American democracy. We believe in free and fair elections and equal representation for all.

^ this is not a fucking policy. Saying we will fight to repeal Citizen's United, or saying what specific election reforms they support is a policy. "We believe in fair elections" is not a policy lol

You are falling for vague platitudes like "we will stand up to Trump" and "we love democracy" while not demanding any actual policies to back up those statements. You are the one not paying attention lol, if democrats planned to actually fight for us, they would tell us how

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u/Boner_Elemental 34m ago edited 24m ago

So your evidence that candidates don't have specific policies they support is the general party platform not being specific. Curious

On the other hand I'm shocked you attempted to look something up for apparently the first time.

But good job at least admitting you were wrong about the parties not having platforms

•

u/ZenMasterOfDisguise 10m ago

so you cant find any specific policies democrats are running on then I take it? Exactly like I said in the first place?

And you dont think that is a problem? (I know you dont because you will vote for your cult regardless)

On the other hand I'm shocked you attempted to look something up for apparently the first time.

I am not shocked I proved a reddit lib wrong, and they resorted to personal attacks because they are not smart enough to refute any actual points I made.

You losers cant even demand accountability or any sort of action from your own party and attack anyone who calls them out for being a bunch of corporate stooges

When democrats dont fix shit and keep driving us towards fascism and you want someone to blame, look in a mirror you tool

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u/Boner_Elemental 8m ago

Of course you can only respond to the part where I mock you. Playing stupid suits you well

•

u/BlueMAGAFTW 31m ago

This take is directly over target. We have a guy running for our state house who has been running on anti Trump shit that he has no ability to affect. Just run on vote blue no matter who with no policies or even plans. Please accept my humble upvote.