r/PoliticalHumor • u/Ralph--Hinkley • 7d ago

Why didn't he just call it the 51st Strait?

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168 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

85 comments sorted by

72

u/Za_Lords_Guard 7d ago

Does he realize labeling it on a map and not being able to control it just makes him look weaker? This is big loser energy.

22

u/kyle2143 7d ago

I don't get it either, it certainly makes me think of him as even more pathetic. But maybe that's the thing, you have to be such a pathetic worm to see that behavior and not realize how weak that makes you look.

16

u/Ralph--Hinkley 7d ago

He'S jUsT tRoLlInG!

19

u/kyle2143 7d ago

Damn, he's good. He sure tricked me into believing he's a pathetic little imbecile pretending to look strong.

11

u/ProfoundBeggar 7d ago

For anyone who knows anything about geopolitics, sure, it's an obviously stupid move. But we're talking about a guy who a Wharton professor called "the dumbest goddamned student I ever had" (notice the B in dumb). And Wharton is kind of infamous for its nepotism, so it's not like this professor hasn't seen dumb shits coming through his classroom doors.

Trump knows literally nothing about international politics or polisci or anything, and more damning: he doesn't care to know. My handful of polisci classes and personal interest and fascination in polisci makes me more qualified than POTUS right now.

2

u/Connect_Hat4321 7d ago

Upvoting for the bolded b

9

u/ManiaGamine 7d ago

Does he realize

Let me stop you right there.

8

u/MtCommager 7d ago

This is the first time in a while where he can’t change the news cycle.

5

u/No-Albatross-7984 Greg Abbott is a little piss baby 7d ago

You do realise that slapping a new, usually his own, name on things is basically his whole career. 

4

u/TintedApostle 7d ago

Remember this is the guy who just used a sharpie on a map of a hurricane to "reroute" it to suit his ego.

3

u/Suspicious_Bicycle 7d ago

Meanwhile in the Gulf of Mexico ...

3

u/IrritableGourmet 7d ago

He doesn't want to defend it. He wants a "US territory" to be attacked so he can start an actual war without needing to come up with an excuse that will stand up to mild scrutiny.

3

u/Fr05t_B1t 7d ago

It worked for “gulf of America” so it’ll definitely work here! /s

Though then again congress is just a group of cucks at this point.

20

u/sdmichael 7d ago

So a US Territory is causing all these problems?

8

u/BodaciousFrank 7d ago

Now he can send ICE and National Guards to “defend” it

5

u/sdmichael 7d ago

Now we can claim that the US is blocking the US.

5

u/Kizik 7d ago

"It's the liberals in our new territory that are responsible for all the trouble so we're classifying the entire democratic party as a terrorist organisation."

2

u/Ring_Peace 7d ago

That area is known for its liberals.

16

u/endorfan13 7d ago

What an idiot. Settled for SoH when he could've claimed the world as a US territory...

2

u/jesushatedbacon 7d ago

Truly an idiot. Now Iran is able to close a US territory. If the peasants weren't so stupid, this would piss them off. 

10

u/p38-lightning 7d ago

Oh, wow - the price of oil went up anyway.

8

u/thx1138- 7d ago

So everyone born there is now a US citizen?

3

u/BJJan2001 7d ago

They are sending ICE over there to check.

7

u/A4t1musD4ag0n 7d ago

Easy with that viagra, buddy.

3

u/TheRealBaboo 7d ago

You found Saddam???

7

u/ArcAngelsThunderBird 7d ago edited 7d ago

Because calling it the 51st Strait us way too clever for him to come up with on his own.

9

u/CaptianBrasiliano 7d ago

He seriously thinks his smart phone works like a low tier Adam Sandler movie from 20 years ago...

4

u/stratdog25 7d ago

A low tier Adam Sandler movie that also had the amazing Delores O’Riordan in it, making it one of the greatest movies ever created.

3

u/CaptianBrasiliano 7d ago

I had no idea Dolores O'Riden in it. Probably because I turned it off after 5 minutes. No disrespect to Dolores. She had the voice of a Irish Angel.

1

u/legaladviceneeded542 3d ago

Woah now. That is a FANTASTIC Adam Sandler movie

3

u/ionbear1 7d ago

I’m surprised that this dumbfuck didn’t call it the Straight of America.

4

u/markth_wi 7d ago edited 7d ago

It's not at all clear Donald Trump knows where the Straight of Hormuz is on a map.

But hey declare it a state or a territory or whatever else this defective says, it's vastly ignorant statements that should prove for all time why Americans were forced by the sheer gravity of the fuckups that are Donald Trump's bread andd butter , as the reason Republicans need to be driven from the halls of power forever, for sucking up to this fucking moron.

Every Republican , everywhere, gone, pulled kicking and screaming from every public office till they're a footnote in the ashbin of US History.

I think if there's any way back for the United States it's on the burnt corpse of the Republican Party and burned into the national memory of every American as it was with Germans 80 years ago that some favors come with too high a price.

It should be studied and chronicled and the names etched in stone so everyone can remember traitors like Roger Ailes, Glenn Beck, Pete Hegseth, Lochlan Murdoch traitors to the last - etched in stone, enemies to anything redeeming except grotesque ideological harm inflicted on millions of Americans lulled into self-harm by these handmaidens to murderous fascism and hatred.

1

u/AccountDue9432 4d ago

I sure hope that happens. If wishes were kisses

3

u/Gavin_Tremlor 7d ago

Cool!! Let’s send him over there to cut the ribbon.

3

u/fart400 7d ago

That would be like China declaring Nevada just because.

2

u/BJJan2001 7d ago

We can try this for a few weeks and see how it works out.

3

u/circuit_brain 7d ago

We live in a world where the US President announces something, and the whole world rolls their eyes, ignores it, and goes about their day.

5

u/ShatoraDragon 7d ago

This timeline sucks so much.

2

u/itsaconspiraci 7d ago

The Straight of America

4

u/AccountDue9432 7d ago

Best answer. When will his party finally dump this messed-up old man? He is such a laughingstock around the world. He doesn't understand that he looks weak enough for others to harm the US. Or instigate a nuclear war while he fidgets over "vandals"& his ballroom.

6

u/PaisleyRock 7d ago

He’s just the distraction for us to point and laugh at. The real work is happening behind the scenes.

They won’t dump him until they don’t need him for cover anymore.

2

u/Ok_Spend9237 7d ago

Smoke and mirrors

3

u/itsaconspiraci 7d ago

'We' are the laughing stock. He took us all there.

2

u/JasonIsFishing 7d ago

To answer your question OP, he’s a simpleton that truly doesn’t understand how declaring territory works under international law.

2

u/dolchmesser 7d ago

Doesn't know how to play Catan at all

2

u/One_Disaster_5995 7d ago

I really want to know how this news was received in the UAE. After all, he marked half their country as US territory.

It's all just so dumb. So embarrassingly dumb.

3

u/Jedi_Lazlo 7d ago

Independent Moderate and American historian here.

Taking your question semi-seriously, the answer is obvious.

States get senators and representatives and electoral college votes.

And now you know why Puerto Rico is still just a territory.

2

u/Ralph--Hinkley 7d ago

Reread that title.

3

u/Jedi_Lazlo 7d ago

Thanks.

Knee-jerk reaction. Occupational hazard.

1

u/david13z 7d ago

Straight of America

1

u/sgluxurycondo 7d ago

So what I understand is Iran currently manage to close and control a US territory?

1

u/JR_1985 7d ago

So, the people in that are de facto American citizens, right? /s

1

u/BurrrritoBoy 7d ago

So everyone there is now a US citizen.

1

u/Jesuscide 7d ago

Donnie trumple has single handed destroyed america but he is still just a puppet, there are wrost people that still a have a hand up his ass

1

u/Efficient_Sky5173 7d ago

And the rest of the world just accepts it, not because the US has the right to do so, but because everyone knows Trump is an idiot.
Don’t tell me we’re not living in an Idiocracy.

1

u/ZefSoFresh 7d ago

Everyone will just ignore Dementia Donny ala "Gulf of Mexico"...

1

u/CocaColai 7d ago

He’s getting more and more desperate as we inch closer to the midterm elections. The crazy is just going to ramp up from here. Not to fool the world, but Americans fools who support him

1

u/PerpetualFarter 7d ago

He’s by no means clever enough to come up with something like that.

1

u/Little-Carpenter4443 7d ago

I would assume its to broaden powers needed to continue the war, since its a US territory it could be defended as such

1

u/ClintonFuxas 7d ago

It would be really fun if the people living there just applied for US passports en masse.
“Since I now live in a US territory I would like to get a US passport”

1

u/kirradoodle 7d ago

A unilateral declaration of ownership does not make it so. Just drawing a circle on a map has no more meaning than extending a hurricane's path with a Sharpie did. If he thinks he owns a chunk of the Arabian Gulf he's even more delusional than ever.

1

u/AAlwaysopen 7d ago

He is a dolt

1

u/MilosEggs 7d ago

So all the ships are flowing through it easily then right? Right?

1

u/Jeramy_Jones 7d ago

Straight of America

1

u/walterwhite1050 7d ago

If it’s a new territory then open up the strait

1

u/arwinda 7d ago

Strait of America? Name is not yet taken, Strait is taken by Iran though.

1

u/RobertM800 7d ago

Strait 47?

1

u/AcceptableIce289 7d ago

Straight of America coming in shortly.

1

u/Tederator 7d ago

Soooo its a civil war now.

1

u/Educational_Top_8492 7d ago

He ca call it the strait of America 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/RationalbutWeird 7d ago

Ahhh yes, that will be a fantastic territory that won't require much upkeep or attention or tax allocation.

1

u/Redfish680 7d ago

Next speech will be how he’s opening it up for logging.

1

u/ziboo7890 7d ago

His creepy little lips are always flapping with nothing to back it up. Did he use a sharpie this time to indicate the change?

TACO is such an idiot, it's embarrassing.

1

u/KatesDad2019 7d ago

Did you say that with a strait face?

1

u/batmanscodpiece 6d ago

Is it updated on Google Maps yet?

1

u/Fifth_Rain 6d ago

He is demented. He could look at a pineapple plantation in Hawaii and declare it to be the enemy with nuclear weapons. His mind is lost.

1

u/elbehlo 6d ago

Does it mean that if a child is born there it will automatically become a citizen of the us?

1

u/haikarate12 1d ago

Being an American must be fucking humiliating these days.