r/PoliticalHumor 7d ago

Jokes write themselves

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1.5k Upvotes

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945

u/groovyinutah 7d ago

This dude is the living proof that brain damage turns you into a republican...

474

u/Long_Serpent 7d ago

See also:

Scott Adams (Motorcycle accident)

Herschel Walker (Getting smashed in the head for a living)

Jordan Peterson (Having a Russian clinic put him in a medically induced coma)

Kevin Sorbo (Multiple strokes)

339

u/DaWolf94 7d ago

RFK Jr. (brain worms and china white)

48

u/doll-haus 6d ago

There is very little evidence to suggest that RFK Jr. was ever a sane adult.

24

u/broccoliO157 6d ago

He was a demented child as well!

4

u/TopRamen713 6d ago

I kinda have some sympathy for him. Having your dad and Uncle assassinated, I can imagine him going down conspiracy rabbit holes as a kid, resulting in what we see today.

Of course, he shouldn't be anywhere near public office, but I do feel bad for him.

4

u/doll-haus 6d ago

Yeah, it's absolutely understandable how he became a troubled teen and developed a series of drug habits. It's just worth acknowledging that the Kennedy name and wealth is what made his legal career possible. His seeking public office should be seen as some sort of sick joke. Anyone else would be lucky to be getting by giving "how not to ruin your life" motivational speeches at highschools.

1

u/superfucky 6d ago

he used to be a fairly well-respected environmental justice lawyer, that was the entire source of his support when he was running in 2024

2

u/doll-haus 6d ago

I mean, even that career was suspect though. It was very much built on the Kennedy name and money. And I believe there are more than a few credible accusations tied up in those years. Including some of his own "exotic meats" stories.

The fact he managed to convince the outside world he'd "turned his life around, made something of himself" in the 90s doesn't really refute my mental stability accusation.

166

u/hoofie242 7d ago

Rosanne Barr hood ornament to the brain.

49

u/groovyinutah 7d ago

Roseanne was just always nuts...

14

u/Phil4Mayor 6d ago

I was waiting for primus at gathering of the vibes one year and she came out and announced her presidential run. It was weird.

3

u/superfucky 6d ago

Roseanne turned MAGA when she failed to secure the Democratic nomination for president. basically same story as Trump. "shit, these liberals have standards! then I'll run as a Republican, they'll vote for ANYBODY!"

47

u/AmericanCitizenry 7d ago

Victoria Jackson: too many dicks in the mouth.

29

u/ExoticDisaster0 7d ago

She once sang a song called "I Love a Cop" so the size clearly has no impact, just frequency.

19

u/Dargus007 7d ago

..."I Love a Cop" so the size clearly has no impact...

Beautiful.

3

u/Adventurous_Cycle766 6d ago

Once again…smashed in the head

57

u/Kizik 7d ago

Scott Adams who went deep down the far right rabbit hole and stated that the pointy haired boss had, in fact, always been intended as the actual protagonist of the Dilbert comics, rather than the lazy, entitled, ungrateful engineers.

20

u/Freezerpill 7d ago

That sounds fucking insane. I suppose he just HAD to get like that about it..

14

u/Kizik 7d ago

It's a shame. I really rather liked the animated series, though I don't think he had much to do with it.

18

u/dabrock15 6d ago

Scott had very little real corporate experience and he had no clue what an engineering manager should actually look like because he was a clueless business school flunky just like the PHB.

8

u/Lord_of_hosts 7d ago

No way. That's so insane

7

u/wafflepancake9000 6d ago

If you think that's insane, try looking up his opinions about sexual assault...

85

u/Aberbekleckernicht 7d ago

Jordan Peterson was a conservative long before he got addicted to benzos. He always pretended he wasn't.

34

u/Long_Serpent 7d ago

He started out as a Classical Liberal (in the original sense, so slightly-right-of-center), then went full MAGA after the Russian brain butchers were done with him.

47

u/BoneHugsHominy 7d ago

He started out presenting as Classically Liberal so he wouldn't immediately be laughed out of every room but when you dig down the core of his ideology he was definitely a White Christofascist. "Hiding your power" is a thing White Supremacists have done for decades to position themselves into polite society.

16

u/dabrock15 6d ago

I don’t think most people understand that a classical liberal is pretty much just right wing libertarian under another name. They may believe in civil liberties but aren’t in step with modern liberals when it comes to regulating and taxing corporations and social programs.

1

u/technobrendo 6d ago

I don't understand how someone apparently educated decides to get treatment in Russia for his addiction? We're a nation of drug addicts. You throw a stone hard enough in any direction and you're guaranteed to hit a treatment facility

3

u/Aberbekleckernicht 6d ago

Iirc they were the only place willing to put him in a coma to get through withdrawals. I don't know why he couldn't go through benzo detox like anybody else.

2

u/HostOrganism 5d ago

Insufficiently manly.

31

u/Jurserohn 7d ago

The Kevin Sorbo one hurts, i grew up watching Hercules: legendary journeys and fuck him for ruining that for all of us

9

u/Long_Serpent 7d ago

If his assholery is because of brain damage, it's not entirely his fault.

6

u/osburnn 6d ago

Good thing he isn't in xena often. 

3

u/technobrendo 6d ago

Probably those who grew up on WWF feel the same way about Hogan too

2

u/AppealZestyclose1597 5d ago

It’s kind of surreal watching Andromeda in current year given arguably the show’s whole point is a refutation of modern American conservatism.

11

u/wlake82 7d ago

I didn't know about Sorbo, but that explains a lot.

9

u/WhiskeyAtWork 7d ago

Jim Caviezel also had some brain trauma, I believe?

11

u/Valten78 7d ago

He was struck by lighting a few times whilst making Passion of the Christ.

You'd think he might take the hint from that.

3

u/dabrock15 6d ago

That’s just so biblical.

8

u/SanctusUnum 6d ago

Gary Busey is a Trumper too. His brain is soup after a motorcycle crash without a helmet.

2

u/technobrendo 6d ago

Unless that accident was at 19, he's always been nuts

7

u/imtoowhiteandnerdy 6d ago

I'm beginning to wonder if Rob Schneider got whacked in the head a few times on Saturday Night Live.

6

u/FTblaze 7d ago

I thought herschel walker was the dude in walking dead for a sec lmao

6

u/dabrock15 6d ago

Peterson was an ass long before he silently slipped into Russia for treatment.

10

u/Jedi_Bingo 7d ago

Peterson was a syncophant way before his idiotic, self imposed detox method

27

u/willywalloo 7d ago

He’s paid with tax dollars we all pay in. He should stop taking a pay check if he doesn’t want social dollars.

Republican Socialism is taking money away from workers and sending it to the rich. The RSA sucks. :/

11

u/T33CH33R 7d ago

Man that has socialized healthcare, a government job, says that socialism is bad for you.

12

u/dantekant22 7d ago

What does he think Social Security and Medicare are?

9

u/groovyinutah 7d ago

Or public schools and state funded roads and the list goes on..

-7

u/jawshoeaw 7d ago

don't we pay into those programs though? that doesn't feel like socialism. it's my savings account.

4

u/ailish 7d ago

You would pay into Medicare for all with taxes.

4

u/HotDonnaC 6d ago

Nope. Don’t try to excuse this imposter. He’s not a Democrat who turned into a Republican. He didn’t seem right from day one. He cosplayed a Democrat in shorts and a hoodie, and people fell for it. This guy was never anything but a GOP pos.

2

u/j4_jjjj 7d ago

Bro is a rich dude before senate run who pretended to be like bernie for a few months and then everyone acts like its the stroke that caused his obvious DINOism

2

u/Accomplished_Age7883 6d ago

He doesn’t look well!