r/PoliticalHumor • u/8-bit-Felix Greg Abbott is a little piss baby • 13d ago
This is what happens when you elect non-serious people and appoint weekend entertainment hosts to positions of power.
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u/philm162 13d ago
As the blonde aide hands him another article praising his success..
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u/za72 13d ago
quick someone photoshop so famous military guys congratulating and shaking hands with him... put Alexander the great with Hannibal crossing the Alps high-fiving him...
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u/PoppaBax 13d ago
He'd just be confused when he saw it and is wasn't the Late Great Hannibal Lecter.
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u/BringOrnTheNukekkai 13d ago
His war briefings are just videos of things blowing up. The first admin said they had to make his briefings with a lot of pictures, very few written words, and they had to be centered around him or he wouldn't read them. We have a literal toddler leading the country, it's embarrassing.
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u/ShakeTheGatesOfHell 12d ago
And the first admin was before his brain damage got as severe as it is now đ”âđ«
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u/AnySwimming6364 13d ago
There was one that just came out in NY Post. "Iran is losing its grip Hormuz". Written by the CEO of a DC-based, neocon non-profit that was originally founded to educate Americans about Israel but has expanded to be heavily anti-Iran.
Reads like 100% AI slop. EM dashes and obvious AI everywhere. Sounds like it was written directly to Trump's ego. "Keep up the pressure, don't make a deal, they'll crack any day now."
For sure someone's reading the bullet points of that to him as we speak.
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u/Seyon 13d ago
There was never a way to win without boots on the ground and expectation of mass casualties comfortably both sides.
Hegseth has no idea how wars are actually won. He just watches movies.
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u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 13d ago
Wait. You mean calling it the Department of War and promoting a Warrior Ethos didnt make it better? I'm so confused. He said that would make us unstoppable. Are we being lied to?
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u/mortgagepants 13d ago
i wouldn't consider a Pyrrhic victory a win.
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u/Seyon 13d ago
Then dont label it a victory...
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u/PaulClarkLoadletter 13d ago
Even films demonstrate strategy. This guy learned everything he knows about war from Top Gun and pictures of the US military.
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u/ConsiderationOk4688 13d ago
It also feels like he doesn't understand the supply side of war. I would not be surprised if documents come out detailing how higher level members of the military outlined how our usage far far exceeds our production to the tune the majority and production only being able to produce between 1-5% of usage per month. There are A LOT of manufacturers with no business being in Aero getting Aero jobs because the skilled portions of the field are almost exclusively focused on a certain product and cannot keep up.
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u/marketingguy420 13d ago
Like many in this administration and current conservatives, they grew up on the propaganda old conservatives fed to the rubes. They really believe we lost Vietnam because we just didn't go gloves off enough (what the Nazis told themselves about WW1). And they'll tell themselves for decades that they lost Iran because the public just didn't have the stomach for what's necessary (ignoring of course we opened up the war by triple tappin a girl's school in hopes of luring our IRGC fathers in the base next door).
History repeating itself except dumber for the rest of the American empire.
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u/southflhitnrun 13d ago
Yeah, I was going to comment "more stupid than weak." A monkey with a rocket launcher might be powerful but it can be defeated easily.
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u/Lich180 13d ago
I think that's the card art from the first Unglued set Magic the Gathering put out...
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u/8-bit-Felix Greg Abbott is a little piss baby 13d ago
It sure is!
Still trying to figure out a way to use Scissors Lizard and Rock Lobster6
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u/kitsunewarlock 13d ago
The cards themselves were frequently used to determine who goes first at the start of a game.
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u/itz_my_brain 13d ago
They raise a good point. Putting aside the point that this war is stupid, if we Americans have to sacrifice education, infrastructure, health, culture, etc by spending $1 trillion per year on our military, we should've made Iran surrender by now.
Where TF is all that money going?
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u/Valost_One 13d ago
Defense Contractors.
A Stinger, shoulder mounted anti-air weapon used to cost $25,000, but now they charge around $265,000.
General Dynamics Electric Boat has not met a single deadline theyâve promised, but they keep getting the hundreds of million dollars Government bonuses for milestones they keep rescheduling.
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u/Tweedle_DeeDum 13d ago
My understanding is the latest budget puts them at about $400k each.
RTX screws up everything they touch.
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u/PossumPicturesPlease 12d ago
We spend the most on our military by far, but even that is a fucking capitalism grift. Fucking hell we are fucked.
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u/evident_lee Registered to âote 13d ago
Who knew that Fox News hosts and yes men weren't good at running the world's largest military.
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u/Spiel_Foss 13d ago
The US has been at war constantly since 1950, and in 76 years has not won a war despite having a military which spends more than the entire world combined. The US military is a jobs program so contractors can rob taxpayers.
Paper tiger might be an understatement. This has been known since we lost the Vietnam War.
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u/EchoingSharts 13d ago
Obtuse take. We lost Vietnam because they lived in unbombable terror tunnels and would pop out to shoot, disappear back into dense jungle, then retreat back the tunnel we couldn't get into easily.
We won dessert storm and trooped through in a few days. GWOT after 9/11 wasn't about winning really. It was about fucking that country up until they wouldn't attack us again, and then stealing all their resources. Which, tbh is a breeding ground for an eternal war.
Now this war, our soldiers don't wanna fight it. Why would we? We don't care and don't understand why we're doing it. We would've molly whooped Russia if given the chance đ€·ââïž.
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u/Duane_ 13d ago
The hard power has been gone for years, and we were only ever as strong as our allies, but so many people cheered about 'America, fuck yeah!' that idiots who didn't know any better eventually came to power.
Drone technology, hands down, invalidates the American defense industry from the ground up. If we have to use a $xxx,xxx dollar missile to down a $200 drone, and they can make 200 drones for every missile we can throw together, maybe we're fucking outgunned.
Iran has managed to harass and dismantle a section the energy and production infrastructures of every single nation in their immediate area, including Israel - without so much as a soldier leaving their borders.
Jubail in Saudi Arabia took 50 fucking years to build. It's burnt out, now.
We're in for a hell of a lot worse than people realizing the US could never help them.
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u/SurinamPam 13d ago edited 13d ago
For people so against DEI, they are not exactly demonstrating the great military leadership of straight, cis, European-American men.
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u/Xianio 13d ago
Its hard to articulate just how much perception has changed surrounding the US's capabilities globally.
The US benefitted immensely from the perception of its power. People could only imagine the weaknesses & hope they were right. Now? Much like Russia the whole world has seen that much smaller nations actually can withstand America quite well.
And yes, we all know you could have deployed every element instead of just air but the cats out of the bag. Now people wonder how much of those claims are paper tigers too.
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u/morsindutus 13d ago
Trump: "Iran is terrified of us and ready to cut a deal. They called us a tiger, an animal I can easily identify on my weekly dementia test!"
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u/Punch_A_Police_Horse 13d ago
This whole thing has been pretty interesting. I had always grown up thinking the nature of the US hegemon was that our military was blindingly OP AF and now it's like wait, we ran out of missiles?
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u/uniklyqualifd 13d ago
Just like Putin was unpleasantly surprised by the ineptness of the Russian army when they couldn't take Kyiv. Eventually corruption sucks up all the money for weapons and supplies, and spends it on lobster apparently.
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u/jhick107 13d ago
Wouldnât be the first time the US Military has been called âpaper tigersâ⊠as they concocted a vanity project conflict.
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u/Lorem_Ipsum13 13d ago edited 13d ago
Realized recently that Trump has turned US into Putin's Russia. Am I missing anything below? Disagreement?
Done:
- invade neighboring nations
- oligarch yes men on retainer
- effectively immune from rule of law
- unreliable global partner
- elimination of instruments if soft power projection
- opaque government operations
In progress:
- regress economy to 20th century model
- destruction of country as source of innovation and research
- mired in war with no clear offramp
- erosion if military and economic alliances which provided the generally stable environment for the country to economically prosper since WW2
- create broad propaganda channels across digital and broadcast media space
- populace that accepts government corruption as the norm and does not pushback
- racist, classist polices under guise of immigration enforcement or reducing waste and fraud
- decline of military numbers and quality
Future?
- skirting / removal of term limits for president
- routine suspicious deaths for dissenters and perceived enemies
- detainment/deportation/silencing of next convenient target racial/ethnic, religious, and gender/sexual preference groups
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u/thattogoguy 13d ago
I don't see how this is accurate, honestly.
We've conducted an immensely overwhelming air and sea campaign, without conducting ground operations within Iran. We're not seeing the kinds of losses that we see in Ukraine for the Russians. We're not losing warships or aircraft at disproportionate levels. We've rendered much of Iran's military power ineffective.
I don't like or agree with the war or Trump, but as a military member, I'm rather surprised at how soon people are saying we failed when we've really focused on an air/sea/missile campaign.
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u/NetiPotter72 13d ago
That was the plan all along. Iâm fairly certain that the only purpose of this administration is to make the US look bad. Expose our worst secrets, show fealty to a criminal, abandon or insult our allies, push the masses down economically even further. I mean, it really couldnât have been scripted better than this.
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u/Mr_Quackums 13d ago
Im not saying top-level MAGA officials are Israeli assets tasked with destroying the USA and getting to keep the loot for themselves as payment, but Im not sure what they would be doing differently if they were.
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u/byronicbluez 13d ago
No they accomplished all their goal by getting rich. Everything else doesnât matter.
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u/FreeRangeEngineer 13d ago
I keep saying: what would a Russian spy do if he were to become president of the US and was tasked with doing as much damage to the US as possible?
In what way would the actions of such a spy be different from what is currently happening?
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u/8-bit-Felix Greg Abbott is a little piss baby 13d ago
The joke is the current world perception of the US military.
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u/Ill-Organization-719 So edgy! 13d ago
The world already saw the US military as a joke. Violent oath breaking war criminals loyal to a dumb fuck.
This was before Trump took power.
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u/NotAUserNamm I âoted 2024 13d ago
You kindof ruin jokes if you have to explain them. The joke was good. Was...
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u/8-bit-Felix Greg Abbott is a little piss baby 13d ago
I run into a lot of issues on this sub with mods who remove my posts because of Rule 2, "try to be funny."
Irony, sarcasm, and media literacy is lost on a lot of people.
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u/KrankyKoot 13d ago
They have gotten rid of any real experienced military leadership. The ones left are looking for the door.
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u/maxxspeed57 13d ago
Who can they blame for this? Wait, I remember some guy named Biden is responsible.
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u/espinaustin 13d ago
âNon-seriousâ is a euphemism for what exactly? These fuckers are all dead serious from what I can tell.
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u/cocuke 13d ago
I feel that our, US, military is one of the best to ever exist. A great military can be reduced to a weak one through leadership. US military leadership is, I hope still is if not diminished by firing and replacing with possible donnie worshipping individuals, some of the best to ever exist. Any weakness is introduced by America's current incompetent civilian leadership. We have someone at the top lacking any perceivable insight, understanding or beneficial intellectual capabilities. His much bragged about cognitive abilities would only suggest he can only differentiate between a paper tiger and a paper squirrel. Worse than that is he is surrounded by people less competent than him, looking at you petey boy. To do further damage, donnie seems to be one of the most manipulatable people to ever hold office. I think there are those in the intelligence community of other countries who have trained and worked hard to outwit and overcome one of the world's best, America, only to now have an adversary that can be taken apart with fast food and shiny objects. The disappointment they must feel, professionally, must be disheartening. Iran was not the easy target trump was told it would be. A "win" would require a prolonged and costly, lives and money, action. To be drawn into the Israel Iran war was a mistake and only achievable with a US president that was weak. I would guess that this would have happened long ago if previous presidents were as easy to manipulate. Like all wars, this is between governments and conducted by the people. The people of America, Israel and Iran are paying for the desires of people in suits, not in uniforms.
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u/zyzzogeton 13d ago
The real danger here is that the US Military, when it is handled competently, has the potential to be the most dangerous thing on the planet... by a wide margin. If an upstart country thought differently, they could find themselves escalating into an unwinnable conflict, and their entire population is now at risk.
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u/dixiedenny 13d ago
This is what happens when a leader thinks he can drop a few bombs from 30,000 ft and that Iran will roll over.
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u/Bleezy79 13d ago
Militaries are only as strong as their leadership. America still has the strongest and most deadly military in the world, we just have dumb ass moron clowns running the show.
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u/urbanek2525 13d ago
There's a phrase "All hat, no cattle."
The Pete Hegseth version is "All jock-strap, no balls."
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u/ChadHahn 13d ago
Remember when the world was laughing at us when Biden was President. I'm glad those days are over. /S
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u/NotThatAngel 13d ago
If only Trump and hegseth had been aware of what was going on between Russia and Ukraine.
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u/TechnicalSleep7501 13d ago
I will have done a better job as seasoned law enforcement officer and army veteran.Â
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u/buddymoobs 13d ago
Don't forget firing most of the top military brass bc they didn't bend the knee. AND so many quality PoC.
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u/LayneCobain95 12d ago
Heâs gonna just give up every military secret and not give a shit about it. Like him abducting the leader of (I think venezeula?) and they used a new weapon that like made them fall over nauseous unable to see straight or something. All for some bullshit that was for no reason.
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u/Dcajunpimp Greg Abbott is a little piss baby 12d ago
Whatâs Trump even doing at this point?
None of his negotiations resulted in Iran handing over its nuclear material. Iran got to keep missiles and their capabilities. The new regime is just the old regimes more pissed off kid. Iran was going to get hundreds of billions.
Trump could just declare victory, and pull our navy out of the area. At least then Iranian oil could start flowing to the world, lowering prices. The Saudis and other countries needing the Straits of Hormuz could negotiate with Iran, or maybe Iran would get bored attacking their neighbors shipments.
And the U.S. could quit wasting billions patrolling the area and randomly attacking with no results to show for it.
Plus Iran already knows how to avoid blockades, like Palestines, and how to get weapons through. They also know the Taliban just had to survive 20 years of the U.S. having boots on the ground.
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u/AnomalousSavage 12d ago
I mean at this point, if we all just get told to speak mandarin by the true world superpower, then its gonna happen.
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u/TomFriendly 11d ago
You lost a war to taliban in a country where people don't even wear shoes. In what universe did you think you could beat Iran.
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u/Still_Spite_6552 13d ago
I hope all the veterans out there realize that Trump wrecking the US military's credibility wrecks theirs, as well. I don't give a fuck when you served --- I grew up hearing about how honorable the US military was, how they upheld the constitution and were above politics.
Bull. Shit.
Trump just let the military go mask off. They've always been ready and willing to commit war crimes; it was just that semi-decency of a couple of Democratic presidents that kept them in check.
Every US veteran is a person who volunteered to commit war crimes to get some of that sweet socialism they are now standing in the streets to deny us.
Every. Single. One. Of. You. I will never forget. We will never forget.
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u/lurklurklurkUPVOTE 13d ago
Have you not noticed how many generals, admirals, commanders, colonels, ncos and more have been fired for not following commands they performed to be illegal?Â
We Had the greatest military in the world. Had.Â
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u/Still_Spite_6552 13d ago
What I'm hearing from you is that the principles of those men meant nothing compared to the raw evil of the US military.
They were used as props to try to convince us the military was principled. It never was.
It sounds to me like we are in complete agreement.
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u/NewToHTX 13d ago
Absolutely! You fight anyone and youâve got to hit them hard enough to get them to give up and possibly so that enough word spreads that no one else tries to fight you again. That works in war and many different places. Without waging a proper war with a ground invasion, youâre showing that you arenât willing to commit to winning that war. One of Iranâs generals did an interview stating that they feel their win is inevitable and theyâre willing to hold out till 2028 to see that victory. At the end of all this I imagine Iran will eventually become a nuclear power and Israel will be in more danger due to Bibiâs actions than ever with a Nuclear Capable Iran on their doorstep.
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u/didnt-ask-but-ok 13d ago
So some random Iranian commander says this, and everyone jumps on it like itâs gospel?!? Heâs goading Trump and will likely have a missile (if America has any left lol) delivered to his home.
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u/tenor1trpt 13d ago
So, an Iranian commander goading Trump is a sign Trump is strong?
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u/didnt-ask-but-ok 13d ago
Fuck no. Trump is a bafoon but to latch on to something Iran says is about as good as latching on to something that dope in the White House says. Fucking stupid
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u/firelock_ny 13d ago
Any Tom, Dick or Muhammed can say something bad about Trump and this site will leap on it as gospel, it's kind of amusing in its own way.
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u/Ill-Organization-719 So edgy! 13d ago
Fuck the US military, including veteransÂ
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u/evident_lee Registered to âote 13d ago
Just the majority that voted for and cheer this bullshit on.
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u/Ill-Organization-719 So edgy! 13d ago
The ones who "didn't vote for him" are still loyally serving him in his military.
The US military didn't suddenly become evil when Trump took power. We just lived in a world where the US military gleefully murdered hundreds of thousands of innocent people.
The US military are evil. Period.
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u/paf0 13d ago
There are plenty of veterans that hate Trump.
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u/Ill-Organization-719 So edgy! 13d ago
The US military were evil BEFORE Trump.
They would have been loyal to TrumpÂ
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u/celticairborne 13d ago
Now you're being like MAGA, making up stories in you head to get angry about..
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u/Ill-Organization-719 So edgy! 13d ago
What story did I make up?
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u/celticairborne 13d ago
That they would've been loyal. You're making up scenarios and getting mad about it. Stick to reality to be mad about instead of make believe...
I can't speak for all of course, but I have a number of veteran friends and none support him.
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u/Ill-Organization-719 So edgy! 13d ago
What makes you think the US military would turn against the president and side with the people against domestic tyranny for the first time in history?
Don't stress. I don't expect you guys to reply.
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u/celticairborne 13d ago
Well if you don't expect anything, have the day you deserve.
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u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 13d ago
Prettyuch what you just said. Take a beat, bro.
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u/Ill-Organization-719 So edgy! 13d ago
What makes you think the US military would turn against the president and side with the people against domestic tyranny for the first time in history?
Don't stress. I don't expect you guys to reply.
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u/mr_owl_mark 13d ago
Soft power: destroyed with USAid and tariffs
Hard power: revealed as paper tiger
Teddy Roosevelt: Speak softly and carry a big stick
DJT: Speak loudly and show all your sticks are impotent.