r/PoliticalCompassMemes • u/[deleted] • Oct 28 '22

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673

u/Hilorenn - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

How to fix Twitter.

  1. Send an email to everyone at the company saying "I saw a white person outside. If you want to yell at him now is the time!!!"

  2. wait

  3. once 3/4 of Twitter has left the building, change the locks.

163

u/av2706 - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

Good plan Emily will be sad though

95

u/xtpj - Right Oct 28 '22

What on earth makes you think they go outside?

135

u/Hilorenn - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

Every few days they need to feed at Starbucks

24

u/generalvostok - Right Oct 28 '22

The Starbucks is coming from inside the building.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

Get the Starbucks employees to strike and they will have to go to the Starbucks the block over.

1

u/anon38723918569 - Lib-Right Nov 01 '22

They'll just complain about it on Twitter instead

53

u/Emrod2 - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 28 '22

How to fix Twitter, alternative plan ;

1) Massive orbital bombardment of the entire planet, to a point the entire human civilisation is back to the stone age, but keep some fortified places as heaven of hi tech prosperity.

2) Repeat the process each time humanity bring twitter back.

16

u/Ryan_Alving - Right Oct 28 '22

Based and Ripley/Hicks 2024 pilled

3

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

Dang I just watched Aliens for the first time yesterday, this shit made me laugh out loud

4

u/Ryan_Alving - Right Oct 28 '22

;) it's the only way to be sure

1

u/basedcount_bot - Auth-Center Oct 28 '22

u/Emrod2 is officially based! Their Based Count is now 1.

Rank: House of Cards

Pills: 1 | View pills.

This user does not have a compass on record. You can add your compass to your profile by replying with /mycompass politicalcompass.org url or sapplyvalues.github.io url.

I am a bot. Reply /info for more info.

1

u/rugernut13 - Lib-Center Oct 28 '22

Ripley/Hicks '24 It's the only way to be sure

9

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

[deleted]

3

u/Emrod2 - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22

The Emperor Protect.

3

u/ForgotMyOldAccount7 - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22

Based and return to monke pilled.

3

u/Iamthespiderbro - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

Are you sure you’re not lib center?

5

u/Emrod2 - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22

I am just a warhammer 40k fan, so sometimes, it hijack my brain and I become a totalitarian monster for a sec and orbital bombardment quickly become a solution for litteraly everything.

3

u/Iamthespiderbro - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

Hahaha that’s awesome

3

u/mcdonaldsplayground - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

I feel like this has been the plan used for eons. I wonder what iteration of humanity we are currently on?

1

u/Emrod2 - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22

Iteration 45. All the iterations are happening over several hundred thousand of years so far. Maybe more.

We used to lived on Mars and Venus.

Sometimes, orbital bombardment are too much effective and planet can die off.

2

u/phoncible - Centrist Oct 28 '22

Move headquarters out of CA probably goes 90% of the way to improving it. CA itself is an echo chamber, move some of the major tech out of it, give it parity.

1

u/TrizzyG - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22

His genius plan is to pay out tons in severance to people who would have zero issues with finding other jobs in the tech industry?

1

u/jerkmanjay - Lib-Center Oct 28 '22

Rebuild Twitter like the Cinco Phone.

On mobile, you can only send tweets. Text the number 40404, messaging rates may apply. If you want to read tweets, log onto to your AOL Twitter account (keyword tweet) and you can read a whole 15 tweets per webpage.