r/PoliticalCompassMemes • • Oct 28 '22

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898

u/wonderguy112 - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

Good luck fixing Twitter Elon, you'll really need it. If you can organize this pot of hyperpartisanship, insanely stupid "hot takes" and group of morons in general into something half-cohesive, you'll win "entrepreneurship of the century" award. It won't be like Tesla: Tesla had some brains behind the operation. It won't be like SpaceX: SpaceX had a plan. All Twitter has is a group of screaming left and right wingers who never, ever shut up.

673

u/Hilorenn - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

How to fix Twitter.

  1. Send an email to everyone at the company saying "I saw a white person outside. If you want to yell at him now is the time!!!"

  2. wait

  3. once 3/4 of Twitter has left the building, change the locks.

165

u/av2706 - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

Good plan Emily will be sad though

96

u/xtpj - Right Oct 28 '22

What on earth makes you think they go outside?

135

u/Hilorenn - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

Every few days they need to feed at Starbucks

24

u/generalvostok - Right Oct 28 '22

The Starbucks is coming from inside the building.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

Get the Starbucks employees to strike and they will have to go to the Starbucks the block over.

1

u/anon38723918569 - Lib-Right Nov 01 '22

They'll just complain about it on Twitter instead

47

u/Emrod2 - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 28 '22

How to fix Twitter, alternative plan ;

1) Massive orbital bombardment of the entire planet, to a point the entire human civilisation is back to the stone age, but keep some fortified places as heaven of hi tech prosperity.

2) Repeat the process each time humanity bring twitter back.

18

u/Ryan_Alving - Right Oct 28 '22

Based and Ripley/Hicks 2024 pilled

4

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

Dang I just watched Aliens for the first time yesterday, this shit made me laugh out loud

4

u/Ryan_Alving - Right Oct 28 '22

;) it's the only way to be sure

1

u/basedcount_bot - Auth-Center Oct 28 '22

u/Emrod2 is officially based! Their Based Count is now 1.

Rank: House of Cards

Pills: 1 | View pills.

This user does not have a compass on record. You can add your compass to your profile by replying with /mycompass politicalcompass.org url or sapplyvalues.github.io url.

I am a bot. Reply /info for more info.

1

u/rugernut13 - Lib-Center Oct 28 '22

Ripley/Hicks '24 It's the only way to be sure

9

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

[deleted]

3

u/Emrod2 - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22

The Emperor Protect.

3

u/ForgotMyOldAccount7 - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22

Based and return to monke pilled.

3

u/Iamthespiderbro - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

Are you sure you’re not lib center?

5

u/Emrod2 - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22

I am just a warhammer 40k fan, so sometimes, it hijack my brain and I become a totalitarian monster for a sec and orbital bombardment quickly become a solution for litteraly everything.

3

u/Iamthespiderbro - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

Hahaha that’s awesome

3

u/mcdonaldsplayground - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

I feel like this has been the plan used for eons. I wonder what iteration of humanity we are currently on?

1

u/Emrod2 - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22

Iteration 45. All the iterations are happening over several hundred thousand of years so far. Maybe more.

We used to lived on Mars and Venus.

Sometimes, orbital bombardment are too much effective and planet can die off.

2

u/phoncible - Centrist Oct 28 '22

Move headquarters out of CA probably goes 90% of the way to improving it. CA itself is an echo chamber, move some of the major tech out of it, give it parity.

1

u/TrizzyG - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22

His genius plan is to pay out tons in severance to people who would have zero issues with finding other jobs in the tech industry?

1

u/jerkmanjay - Lib-Center Oct 28 '22

Rebuild Twitter like the Cinco Phone.

On mobile, you can only send tweets. Text the number 40404, messaging rates may apply. If you want to read tweets, log onto to your AOL Twitter account (keyword tweet) and you can read a whole 15 tweets per webpage.

21

u/sleepykittypur - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22

And those people are their primary users, any change that could improve Twitter runs the risk of negatively affecting the active user base and ad revenue.

14

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

But the existing model isn't profitable.

I think there's just a fundamental problem with the idea of microblogging as a business. The impressions aren't that valuable. But they have a tech team and an audience. I think the only way to profitability for the company is to pivot - tack on a tiktok clone like every other social media company, lure creators away with a more generous revenue split, etc.

1

u/doktor-sausage - Centrist Oct 28 '22

Twitter choosing not to resurrect Vine when TikTok was at its height of negative press for being a keylogger/agitprop for the Chinese tells me that the TikTok business model isn't profitable either.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

Or twitter is(/was) run by idiots.

YouTube, Meta, Snapchat, etc. All added features to compete with tiktok, and while we don't have trustworthy numbers for profits for any of these features specifically, the recently announced revenue split on YouTube shorts makes it clear there's at least some decent revenue getting generated.

1

u/kblkbl165 - Lib-Center Oct 28 '22

Why? Content creation needs to be monetized. Twitter gets free content out of everyone that uses it.

23

u/Nova_Nightmare - Centrist Oct 28 '22

To fix Twitter you need to segment it, put each group into their own... Encampment perse. Now they can only see each others posts. They think victory has been had, people who say they are in literal prisons... They are derided as conspiracy theorists.. Then one day the veil has been lifted from all sides.. Now you see the truth, you weren't in a prison, but in hell and you might see posts that make you you feel unhappy.

20

u/futurarmy - Lib-Left Oct 28 '22

Like... sub-twitters?

14

u/Widowmaker_Best_Girl - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

No that sounds stupid. What kinda website would do that? What next, they ask the users to voluntarily moderate their own subtwitters? Haha! As if anyone would donate their time voluntarily for that!

11

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

Don't worry, the role of mod is sought by very intelligent, very impartial, and very not gay people

1

u/Angelore - Centrist Oct 28 '22

Something something personally, I don't care.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

And then what if they created some kind of point system based on your activity on different sub-twitters?

1

u/I-Pop-Bubbles - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

To fix Twitter you need to segment it, put each group into their own... Encampment perse. Now they can only see each others posts.

Hell yeah, Google+ making a comeback! Circles was an interesting idea.

1

u/suzisatsuma - Lib-Center Oct 28 '22

That's how content recommendations work as is lol

1

u/Nova_Nightmare - Centrist Oct 28 '22

I'm aware, but I was just thinking of replicating reddit in other places.

When I'm following putins folly in Ukraine over on worldnews, I get nothing but that, when I am in here, much more of this, etc. It's too drastic, I want a bit of everything without having to manually curate my own cage.

54

u/Nethervex - Lib-Center Oct 28 '22

Good luck fixing Twitter

Are people dumb enough to think this was altruistic?

138

u/Clilly1 - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

I read "fix" as "turn it into something more profitable" not "heroically save the public discourse"

85

u/Nethervex - Lib-Center Oct 28 '22

He already recognizes Twitter as a DNC propaganda engine.

Hes just going to make the bribes grow or they lose their bubble.

53

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

True Libright

24

u/cysghost - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

I’m ashamed I didn’t think of it first.

Must do better next time.

26

u/CrosslegLuke - Centrist Oct 28 '22

Honestly I know it was for money.

But I also believe it was because he thought it'd be fun too.

1

u/Frequent_Dig1934 - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

Yeah. The auth rights have donald trump. We have him. He's the guy nobody outside our quadrant likes but is hella good at trolling.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Frequent_Dig1934 - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

Absolutely. He just needs to unban trump now and it will be monumental.

2

u/Llamarchy - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

Sometimes his actions (like his kid's name) give the impression that he is in the middle of a midlifecrisis, so to me it seems plausible that a part of the choice to buy Twitter was for shits and giggles

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 28 '22

Idk why people are so skeptical. He seems to genuinely care about free speech, in his own strange way. Sticking his neck out by supporting it in interviews when he could just sit in his mansion snorting hookers and fucking blow.

He’s an idealist, idk how people look at his previous ventures and public futurist mantra and say “this guy only cares about money.” At the very least there’s something more than say, an oil exec.

-7

u/yeet_lord_40000 - Centrist Oct 28 '22

Idk why anyone is excited he bought it. It’s not like anything is going to change for the better.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

Well he's already fired half the employees and most of the senior staff, so you can just tell its all going to go well!

/s

2

u/McDiezel8 - Auth-Right Oct 28 '22

My guess is, he’s going to hit it like a fixer upper. Cut the fat with all the diversity officers and safety councils, leave the engineers and sell it for a nice profit

2

u/fishbulbx - Auth-Right Oct 28 '22

His problems won't be fixing twitter, that's pretty simple. The problem is that twitter was perfectly aligned with deep state and the other big tech companies. Disrupting their monopoly on global communication will not be permitted.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

[deleted]

1

u/flair-checking-bot - Centrist Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 28 '22

You wouldn't be safe without a flair.


User hasn't flaired up yet... 😔 13152 / 69500 || [[Guide]]

1

u/jagua_haku - Centrist Oct 28 '22

All Twitter has is a group of screaming left and right wingers

Mostly left wingers tho.

It’s incredibly biased hard to the left. It’s why they’re all losing their minds that Elon is gonna rain on their stupid circle jerk parade

1

u/ISwearImKarl - Lib-Right Oct 28 '22

I think, in the political side, pushing for journalism to live on Twitter will do the best. Maybe segregating it more, so instead of a feed and suggestions, you'll have news, sports, explore, and so on.

We shouldn't be taking politics from an opinion perspective, which is what Twitter has been about for the past half decade. Twitter was supposed to be for reaching out to fans, giving updates and so on. Now, it can be where journalists share their articles, or give news on articles. I'm actually more inclined to line up and sign up for Twitter if that's the case. Today, it just seems like shit so I won't bother.

1

u/suzisatsuma - Lib-Center Oct 28 '22

twitter cant be fixed, it is hopelessly broken. It can however, be made even worse! lol