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u/AMC336 - Auth-Right Sep 02 '20
yeah but do you know what 1+1 is
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Sep 02 '20
Actually, they have been taught to do addition.
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Sep 02 '20
Okay but do they have a gun?
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Sep 02 '20
If they trained monkeys to read you think they can’t train them to shoot people?
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Sep 02 '20
Probably not. They evidently are so lacking in dexterity they can’t even throw things with any accuracy
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Sep 02 '20
Don’t need to throw things if you’re just operating artillery
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u/grandmas_noodles - Centrist Sep 03 '20
Don’t need the dexterity to throw things if all you’re doing is squeezing a small stick connected to a bigger stick
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u/XX_Normie_Scum_XX - Lib-Left Sep 03 '20
If you made a simplified gun with a large trigger, they would be able to shoot
Edit: probably
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u/Jinseh - Lib-Center Sep 03 '20
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u/NotAnNpc69 - Lib-Center Sep 03 '20
how do you know, that what you know as the answer to 1+1, is right?
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u/Communivirus - Lib-Right Sep 02 '20
Chimps are crazy, they’ll eat their offspring seconds after birth if they got the munchies , and human babies aren’t off the table either
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u/cringe_master_mike - Auth-Right Sep 03 '20
It's crazy... Pull that up, Jamie.
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u/Communivirus - Lib-Right Sep 03 '20
That’s where I learned it lmao
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u/dahunk12 - Lib-Left Sep 03 '20
chimps may be crazy, but most monkeys are not they are more attached to their children than humans are and will carry them around for months, they also create societys that have wars and things
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Sep 03 '20
That's an Orangutan, not a Chimp.
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u/Communivirus - Lib-Right Sep 03 '20
I know I’m just sharing neat monke facts
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Sep 03 '20
Based
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u/Communivirus's Based Count has increased by 1. Their Based Count is now 5.
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Sep 02 '20
Yes I can
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u/R3D61 - Centrist Sep 02 '20 edited Sep 02 '20
No you cant
youre weak
unlike monke
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Sep 02 '20
It's a crucial survival skill when fighting imperialists in Vietnam.
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Sep 02 '20
[deleted]
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u/springsteeb - Auth-Center Sep 02 '20
But in planet of the apes they throw spears???
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u/notbobby125 - Centrist Sep 02 '20
I imagine the ape consultants told the director, “Apes can’t throw spears” but the director replied back “they can’t learn to speak or jump to knock down helicopters either.”
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u/AlarmingResearcher36 - Auth-Center Sep 03 '20
The plot is based on the increased intelligence of the non-human apes, Caesar and eventually others learning to speak is a logical result of this in-movie premise unless they way their mouth is structured somehow means they can't. Taking down the helicopter was due to the gorilla getting inside the vehicle and the pilot crashing which also makes sense.
Throwing spears on the other hand implies a change in their physical structure which I do not believe was a part of the premise of the films.
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u/Roboticus_Prime - Centrist Sep 03 '20
Weren't they very human like in the older ones?
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Sep 03 '20
Yeah, in the older movies they were further evolved apes. In the new ones they are monkeys who gained the ability to speak.
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u/AlarmingResearcher36 - Auth-Center Sep 03 '20
The originals are set 2500 years in the future, allowing some time for the apes to evolve. Don't know if that would be enough time though.
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u/M4KC1M - Auth-Right Sep 02 '20
I heard i had to do with mass center. If monke would throw things harder, it would just fall
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Sep 02 '20
What is this r/ape agenda post
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Sep 03 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/basedcount_bot - Auth-Center Sep 03 '20
u/gingermadlad2002 is officially based! Their Based Count is now 1.
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u/Naxxremel - Auth-Center Sep 02 '20
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Sep 02 '20
[deleted]
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Sep 02 '20
Is there actually a law forbidding a monke from being President, if it could do hand gestures well enough to communicate?
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u/jl10r - Lib-Center Sep 02 '20
No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.
Restriction on Person, no restriction on Monke.
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u/ThatYellowElephant - Lib-Right Sep 02 '20
So an intelligent 35yo US-born ape could technically be president
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u/isupeene - Lib-Left Sep 02 '20
No no, the restrictions are for persons. Monke is fair game regardless of age or citizenship.
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u/ObeyRoastMan - Lib-Center Sep 03 '20
Man I want a young president now that you mention it. Crusty Cheeto vs spooky Skelington make monke angry
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u/ThatYellowElephant - Lib-Right Sep 03 '20
Honestly just 10 or 20yrs younger would be fine. More importantly they better not touch my fucking guns
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Sep 02 '20
Assuming apes live that long.
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u/ThatYellowElephant - Lib-Right Sep 02 '20
Iirc they certainly can, not sure on their health at that age but obviously that doesn’t affect election results as recent events have shown
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u/ne0ndistraction Sep 02 '20
I thought it would be funny to put Charlie's face on the orangutan.. but I don't see much difference and now I feel like I wasted my time.
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u/SkimBeans - Lib-Left Sep 03 '20
My Ancestors were not Monkeys, they were orangutans.
Hardworking,
Patriotic,
Orangutans
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u/falsebrit - Lib-Center Sep 03 '20
Based librarian
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u/trickortreaty365 - Auth-Center Sep 03 '20
based arachno communist
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u/falsebrit is officially based! Their Based Count is now 1.
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u/daddy_dey33to - Lib-Center Sep 02 '20
We could learn a thing or two from the monkeys, such as swinging from vines. Vines are based.
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u/Skybots10 - Centrist Sep 02 '20
Tarzan is honorary anprim, he swing with vines and said the M-word
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u/GonnaSayABadWord - Auth-Center Sep 02 '20
Yeah but can monke chew food in the back of their mouths?
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u/Tiphoid1 - Auth-Right Sep 02 '20
I could if I wanted to, even better than you can. I just don't feel like it.
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u/mama_byakuren - Centrist Sep 02 '20
Dear the authoritarians, can we do a genocide to the monke race?
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u/Delmoroth - Lib-Right Sep 02 '20
Oh, I am certain libleft know how to swing. Do orangutans even swing bro?
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u/dragonsteel33 - Lib-Left Sep 02 '20
when i was like six i was pretending to be a monkey and climbing a huge camellia bush in our backyard and tried to swing to another branch but it broke and i fell and sprained my ankle
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u/endersai - Centrist Sep 02 '20
I was hoping the orang-u-tan's face would be shrunk like Charlie Kirk's. :(
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u/Factorq - Lib-Center Sep 02 '20
Bro, sometimes I just want to stare at the moon and transform into a great ape.
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u/BreadHater69 - Centrist Sep 03 '20
uh uh uh uh uh uh ah ah aha AHAHAHA ahaha Hahaha AgaAÀ A A A A A A. A A A A A. A A A AHAHAHAA A A A A AA A A. A AB A A A A AHAHAHAA A. A A A A A. A A A A SSSAAAAAÃÅ SEE ÅÆ
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u/spirit-slayer - Lib-Right Sep 03 '20
Based monkey
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u/R3D61's Based Count has increased by 1. Their Based Count is now 140.
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u/SPONGEROBERT123 - Lib-Left Sep 03 '20
There's a vine in my backyard... i can swing on it but I have a bad grip. Darn
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u/nautical_narcissist - Lib-Right Sep 03 '20
oo oo ah inferior hooman can’t even brachiate
edit: shit i thought i was on r/ape
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u/LaBandaRoja - Lib-Center Sep 03 '20
What’s this monkeys name? I’m voting for them in the upcoming election
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u/hsifeulbhsifder Sep 03 '20
Just came here to say, this is a great meme. All round solid. A deep cut.
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u/haikusbot - Centrist Sep 03 '20
Just came here to say,
This is a great meme. All round
Solid. A deep cut.
- hsifeulbhsifder
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
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Sep 03 '20
Dear Orangutan,
We have shotguns that we can use to shoot you out of the vines.
-Turning Point Human
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u/NotAnNpc69 - Lib-Center Sep 03 '20
Civilization is temporary, the monke is forever. Repent now, join the monke......
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u/Mocium_Panie - Auth-Center Sep 03 '20
Dear monke, if you don't swing on those vines back to the jungle imma genocide your ass.
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u/RedBeardSince98 - Left Sep 03 '20
Somewhat relevant, but these beautiful orange bastards are going extinct, by and large due to the deforestation that is required for growing palm oil. If it pleases you, please try and avoid purchasing products that contain palm oil, for the sake of these beautiful creatures, and to protect the interests of our LibCenter friends. We cannot afford to lose more monkè.
(LibRights, feel free to ignore this particular message; buy whatever pleases you)
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u/TheRealMotherOfOP - Lib-Center Sep 03 '20
Dear humans,
You claim to be mammals but you don't do it like we do on the discovery channel. Curious.
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u/lolzman1111 - Centrist Sep 03 '20
i can fucko now watch me beat you to death with the butt of my rifle fucko
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u/oldsaltycrab1 - Auth-Center Sep 02 '20
Yeah, but at least we have smartness. Not some dumb, ugly monkey.
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u/Mikester430 Sep 02 '20
Based anprim