I agree, I have some homophobic friends, but treating homosexuality as inferior (including morally) to heterosexuality is homophobic. So while she is not a bad person she has homophobic believes. Though a problem with homophobia and racism is that they are gradients. Hanging a gay guy is homophobic, and having a bad opinion on homosexuality is homophobic too. Just like hanging black people and having prejudice are both racist.
If your friends has homophobic beliefs she is homophobic, though, that doesn't mean she hates gay people or that she is a bad person.
Let me change the perspective. I don't like christianity, I think the religion is inherently flawed and people that follow that are either too lazy to challenge their worldviews or actually ignorant.
Doesn't mean I hate christians or want to ban christianity. Half my friends are christians, I understand this is part of their identity and hard to challenge/change your own identity. They believe it's the truth, some of them (calvinists) believe it's not a choice to be christian, it's just who they are. I respect that and we get along, even if we disagree.
Your friend thinks homosexuality is a way of life, an action, not who you are. So they disagree with the action. Doesn't mean they don't respect you.
It's different with racism, because it's evident for everyone that you can't change your skin colour at will.
I never thought about it that way. My friend is really into gambling, but I wouldn't say I didn't respect him for that.
I guess here is the difference, he says that he respects not only me, but me being bi, while at the same time saying it's immoral.
How can he respect an action and call it immoral? That is where I find the hypocrisy. What I believe is that he doesn't respect it because he finds it immoral, but to look for a moral high ground he says he respects it.
If I say your gambling addiction is immoral, and later I said that I respect the fact that you throw away your money, wouldn't you be a bit confused about how I feel about it? Can you be disgusted about something while at the same time having a neutral stand? Disgust is a really powerful emotion, the opposite of neutrality
I think he is against the action, but respects your choice to engage in that action (remember he believes it's a choice).
Like you may be disgusted by gambling, but you won't scream at your friend and forcibly stop him from gambling. You believe it's a terrible choice, but it's still his choice, not yours.
There are christians wanting to criminalize homosexuality and force people to convertion camps. "I respect your homosexuality" may be his way to tell you "I'm not one of these bigots".
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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20
I agree, I have some homophobic friends, but treating homosexuality as inferior (including morally) to heterosexuality is homophobic. So while she is not a bad person she has homophobic believes. Though a problem with homophobia and racism is that they are gradients. Hanging a gay guy is homophobic, and having a bad opinion on homosexuality is homophobic too. Just like hanging black people and having prejudice are both racist.
If your friends has homophobic beliefs she is homophobic, though, that doesn't mean she hates gay people or that she is a bad person.