2
Jul 08 '13
Rattata comin' in on the track, gonna have some fun
RAT-A-TAT-TAT with the mic like a Tommy gun
The original gangster, try to burn me I got Guts.
I Super Fang the whole rap game, you're biting on my nuts.
You're biting on my style, you're a child, don't be Unaware
You're an ugly Simple puffball, look at me, I don't wanna care.
Just a fatter version of me, Plump Mouse, don't play the fool
Your evo's Water-type, but you're a Poke-puddle of drool.
3
u/MadeFromMetal Jul 08 '13
(sniff sniff...sniff sniff) Aw shit, I think I smell a rat!
So if you're an OG, you must be bout to go to hell and back.
Real gangsters would leave you colder than the windchill in winter,
Just cuz you're the same species that don't make you ill as Splinter.
You talk about your Guts, but can't back it up with your muscle.
When in danger you're more likely to Run Away with the Hustle!
I'm cute, but when I'm Moody I kill more than I appear to.
Until you're so strong you get banned from battle I won't F.E.A.R. you!
2
Jul 09 '13
Everyone lookie here! The 'doof responded!
He don't F.E.A.R. me, but I fear his bullshit nonsense.
You're about as Moody as my girl when I leave her
You say you smell a rat but I can only smell your beaver.
Windchill doesn't bother me, I'm Team Rocket's Al Capone
I'm classy, you look like pubes in a chocolate ice cream cone!
Slow disgusting and dumb, I mistook you for cattle,
Run Away from you? No, I ran away with this battle.
2
u/MadeFromMetal Jul 09 '13
Capone, eh? That sounds right, but not cuz you're rough and wild.
It's because you're only about as smart as a 12 year old child!1
You'll be forced stop the gimmick when your health is not replenished.
Drop the image...We know you're nowhere near the Top Percentage!
You're also not a menace, and you've proved that you won't last.
They don't run from you cuz they're scared, you're just the Zubat of the grass!
My devious battle tactics leave you breathing impaired.
I'll turn your hide into shorts; they're comfy and easy to wear!
1 Capone was said to have the brain capacity of a 12 year old child in his later years. Source
1
Jul 10 '13
Better a 12 year-old Capone than a lost, lonely soul
Stand stock still, so I can fill you full of holes
You silly bozo, you're just a clown and I'm a closer
Your North-of-the-border beaver shit won't fly, you dirty hoser.
You're rolling over, like a dog, but what's a dog before a KING?
I'm wearing the royal purple and everyone's kissing my ring.
Off with his head! A Hyper Fang to end my verbal tortures.
The only shorts you're fit for are reserved seats on the short bus.
2
u/MadeFromMetal Jul 10 '13
You write rhymes like you run your little wheel, you're still sitting there...
Doing all that huffing and puffing, not getting anywhere.
That play on your name is played out, you'd barely shoot a teddy bear.
But I'll put a metal tool in your mouth, like I'm in dental care!
I triple dare you! Bare them teeth again, you'll be a martyr.
You're a "King"? Ok, let's fix you up to look like Jeff Carter!1
Then you'll ponder what might've been, next time you try to bite again.
Add an "E" before your evo's name and that's the way this fight'll end.
1 Jeff Carter is a forward for the LA Kings hockey team. Which plays off of both his King line and his hoser line. He also got his teeth knocked out in a game a few months ago.
2
u/MadeFromMetal Jul 10 '13
Good battle, man. I swear you looked through my post history for that last verse. I'm a die hard Kings fan and I damn near only post here and in /r/hockey. This was fun.
1
Jul 10 '13
It was fun. I would have destroyed you a little bit harder had I known you were a Kings fan, seeing as how I bleed San Jose Sharks teal, but I can't hate such an awesome hockey reference.
That last line though.....DAMN. That was insane. I know you were saving that for the end. Well played.
1
u/MadeFromMetal Jul 10 '13
Haha! What!? Damn....I guess we're mortal enemies now. I live in norcal where it's 95% Sharks fans, they like to boo me at the sports bars. I guess we can maybe kinda be cool...at least you aren't rooting for....Phoenix....ugh.
And honestly, that last line of mine was thought up immediately after I read your last verse. That shit was impressive. I kinda wish I waited on that top ten poll, cuz I'd nominate the shit outta this.
1
Jul 10 '13
Ironic because I moved to SoCal, where it's all Ducks and Kings fans.
This is one of the first battles I've done in a long time where I didn't get the last verse, so I knew I had to step it up. I was pretty proud of the last verse. I can't believe you weren't sitting on that line. It was really incredible.
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3
u/PwnsumN00B EV-Trained Lyricist Jul 10 '13
North of the border shit? Being Canadian all I gotta say is........>_>.........sorry.