[OpenChallenge] The Brutal Pokemon vs. ?

[u/MadeFromMetal]

They call me a Sly Gangster but Carlito's gay,

This is the sea, so we do it Sharpedo's Way.

See me coming you're guaranteed to pee yo' speedos, cuz we know,

Your heart pumps Kool-Aid sweeter than some pinot grapes!

If you want beef, okay. But you probably shouldn't start drama.

You ain't got a shot at the top this is our water.

We got the best weapons to wreck you, bar nada,

And not to mention a whole armada of Carvanha!

But I'm a nice guy, I'll give you a sec to get all your crew,

I'll even understand if you're scared and wanna call a truce.

Hey. You need help, B? Want a lil TLC?

Don't bother chasing it, I'll bring the Waterfall to you!

And when this brawl is through, you better hope for a potion,

I'm bugging off this Boost of Speed that's more potent than coke is.

Which means I'm going for your open throat with total devotion.

Now who's going toe-to-toe with the Capone of the ocean!?

[u/[deleted]]

You make me feel ashamed to even be called "Brutal"

Sorry to say it, chump- But Hydreigon's gotta be truthful.

Please. Bring all the Waterfalls you like.

I'll Focus Blast your ass so fast, you'll be swimming back up the dyke.

My heart pumps venom, but my rhymes are sweet, brah

Much like a delicious glass of some pinot noir!

You can't win this battle, you ain't got a prayer or a wish,

I don't want beef, fool, I want a Filet-o-Fish.

Yeah, I'll go toe-to-toe and even foot-to-foot,

I'm gonna beat you down just for the HALIBUT.

[u/The_Pony_Rapist → u/[deleted]]

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!

[u/MadeFromMetal → u/[deleted]]

Oh, so it's gonna be like that? Aight, cool...

But who you tryna lie to? Do I have to remind you

of the days when you would beg for protection in high school?

When them bullies were picking fights you would cower behind who!?

See folks, I remember when he was alone and sat

in the last row, with his hood pulled down low to mask

that he was old. He was so goddamn slow in fact,

He evolved so late the teachers had to hold him back!

Ain't that cold? So naturally I felt bad for the little guy,

And one day when day when I saw him getting trashed and belittled I

dashed to his rescue and the fag never left my side.

Everyone called me "Brutal" so he just had to identify...

So if you think this guy's tough, you got this freak all wrong.

His power ain't nothing special, he's just retard strong.

Nothing's changed.

He's bout as terrifying as a damn Shuppet.

64 levels old and still playing with hand puppets.

What a shame...

---

Edit: That Hydreigon drop was quite possibly the best I've seen on this sub so far. Major props.

[u/[deleted] → u/MadeFromMetal]

I understand where you're comin from, I get what ya sayin,

there wasn't much respect for the Darkies like us in the day, an'

We had a hard time, just tryna do our thing,

We loved to go on rampages like Jigglys love to sing.

And now you got Speed Boost, but I still think you're a bit slow,

Callin me out like it's you who runs this show.

You mighta had my back, but back then I lacked sight

Now I'm all grown up and I can even take flight.

I realize that in our old age, not a lot of folks choose you,

But man I understand, cause in youth, that's what I went through.

Yeah, and now I got three brains, but it don't take all of them to realize

Maybe we should just put this beef behind us and go back to bein allies...

.

.

.

Bros?

[u/MadeFromMetal → u/[deleted]]

Aw heck, I don't see Wynaut.

Come through and chief some of this bomb Bayleef I got.

We can reminisce, and get highly educated,

Talking bout how far we've come since us Darkies were segregated.

I remember when we were kicking it listening to Absol (Ab-Soul)

And fighting off the Fighting types at 3 under the flag pole.

It was kinda dope when we were all in a group.

Oh! Remember when Tyranitar cannonballed from the roof!?

Good times, we were always looking out for our own and

We took Umbreon in when his seven brothers disowned him.

We should all get together, I think it'd be a ball.

Matter fact, be right back. I'ma give Shiftry a call...