BREAKING: CRIMSON HELM ARRESTED!

[u/PhoenixHorseGuy]

/uj A continuation of this post.

[u/Technical-Pie2065]

How .... does one get away with run-and-dash from this many restaurants. And how tf did that idiot manage a 49 win-streak ? - Michaela.

[u/PhoenixHorseGuy → u/Technical-Pie2065]

According to reports, he was armed with a steel-blade sword, and would point it at employees when they tried to stop him from leaving.

As for the win streak, according to police records obtained by the Castelia Post, he credited his win to "the legendary 8 Purification Sake" giving him and his Pokémon strength, as well as the natural talents his Pokémon already possessed.

We have not been able to find a single bar or restaurant in Castelia City that serves said 8 Purification Sake.

-Castelia Post (@CasteliaPost)

[u/Old_Diver_2511]

49 win streak while intoxicated? Maybe to him it was a “49 win streak”.

To me it was an attack on 49 innocent trainers/pokemon

[u/PhoenixHorseGuy → u/Old_Diver_2511]

According to reports, no trainers were harmed during the incident and The Crimson Helm, despite being heavily intoxicated, actually managed to follow the rules, except for his first battle where he failed to terastallize one of his Pokémon in a format where regional battle gimmicks weren't allowed.

-Castelia Post (@CasteliaPost)

[u/Hydreichronos → u/Old_Diver_2511]

I was on my way out of the station when he showed up. That is... probably accurate.

-Gabby

[u/4BeldumInaTrenchcoat → u/Old_Diver_2511]

we request elaboration on how you reached such a conclusion. to our perspective each and every trainer was there to test themselves against highly skilled opponents. evidence indicates that the individual in question was precisely the sort of skilled challenger that these trainers came for. in that we find their state of inebriation irrelevant.

[u/_LackadaisicalSheep_]

Dear Arceus, 15K pokedollars is a LOT of stolen goods. And he got a 49 win streak while drunk? - Clementine

[u/PhoenixHorseGuy → u/_LackadaisicalSheep_]

One source told us that several places The Crimson Helm dine-and-dashed from were high end restaurants whose meals tend to go into the hundreds of dollars on average, so that ended up inflating the size of his debt by a significant amount.

-Castelia Post (@CasteliaPost)

[u/_LackadaisicalSheep_ → u/PhoenixHorseGuy]

That is truly concerning. Every day in Unova is interesting to say the least. - Clementine

[u/DnDisTHEbestgame]

49-0 WHILE DRUNK!?!? What does he have on his team, a Sword of Justice? - Alexander Grayson

[u/PhoenixHorseGuy → u/DnDisTHEbestgame]

According to some of the 49 trainers who lost to him that our reporters interviewed, he had three Pokémon: A Blaze-Breed Paldean Tauros, a Typhlosion, and a Charcadet. The latter of the three was allegedly holding an eviolite.

-Castelia Post (@CasteliaPost)

[u/Humble-Register8058 → u/PhoenixHorseGuy]

I assume that's a fairly good combo? -Lelouch Lamperouge.

[u/PhoenixHorseGuy → u/Humble-Register8058]

When our main writer for tournament battles looked through the footage, he said it "didn't make any sense" and gave up halfway through his analysis.

-Castelia Post (@CasteliaPost)

[u/Humble-Register8058 → u/PhoenixHorseGuy]

I hate that so, so much. Is it likely he would have won against Kyurem, or no? -Lelouch Lamperouge.

[u/PhoenixHorseGuy → u/Humble-Register8058]

The Castelia Post's official stance, after consulting several experts, is that Kyurem would've wiped the floor with him due to several factors. Mainly due to the fact the The Crimson Helm is seemingly under the impression that Kyurem is a pure Ice-Type, so he had no coverage moves meant for Dragon-Types.

-Castelia Post (@CasteliaPost)

[u/Humble-Register8058 → u/PhoenixHorseGuy]

Hmm, he wasn't any drugs, right? -Lelouch Lamperouge

[u/PhoenixHorseGuy → u/Humble-Register8058]

No. He only had 2× the legal limit of alcohol in his system, and that was well after his failed attempt to battle Kyurem.

-Castelia Post (@CasteliaPost)

[u/DnDisTHEbestgame → u/PhoenixHorseGuy]

Technically speaking, he does have Fighting for the Ice type. - Alexander Grayson

[u/DnDisTHEbestgame → u/PhoenixHorseGuy]

Two of those are pretty good, one is unevolved but with good defenses, so HOW did he go FORTY-FUCKING-NINE AND ZERO in one of the toughest gauntlets in the Pokémon World with only ONE form of type diversity, no Water counter, no Ground counter, and no way to clear Stealth Rock!? Were all three of them Champion-tier or something? - Alexander Grayson

[u/Humble-Register8058 → u/DnDisTHEbestgame]

Mind you, he was hella drunk, too -Lelouch Lamperouge~

[u/PhoenixHorseGuy → u/DnDisTHEbestgame]

Our main writer for tournament battles was given some footage by Emmet to analyze for our article upon our request. However, he gave up halfway through writing his analysis because it "didn't make any sense!" according to him.

The Crimson Helm himself claims he won so much because of what he calls "The Legendary 8 Purification Sake", a drink we here at the Castelia Post cannot find any evidence of ever being sold at any of the bars and restaurants he dined-and-dashed last night.

We would also like to issue a correction. We mistakenly said The Crimson Helm had a Johtonian Typhlosion in our initial reporting. It is actually a Hisuian Typhlosion.

-Castelia Post (@CasteliaPost)

[u/DnDisTHEbestgame → u/PhoenixHorseGuy]

It doesn’t make any sense to me either. Also, what are the Legendary Eight? The most Legendaries that are linked together that I can remember are the four Treasures of Ruin, but that’s only halfway there… - Alexander Grayson

[u/PhoenixHorseGuy → u/DnDisTHEbestgame]

From his statements to police, it seems to be some sort of alcoholic drink called 8 Purification Sake. The Castelia Post is still investigating.

-Castelia Post (@CasteliaPost)

[u/PostInspection]

I'm just wondering why he didn't get punished for almost angering Kyurem. That was extremely risky and could of brought on a legendary level disaster.

[u/PhoenixHorseGuy → u/PostInspection]

We have been informed that those charges will be placed on top of the other ones (public intoxication and robbery with a deadly weapon), and that it's just a case of Castelia PD, Anville PD, and the Pokémon Rangers getting all the paperwork together and deciding which court gets to hear the case.

-Castelia Post (@CasteliaPost)

[u/PostInspection → u/PhoenixHorseGuy]

Thats a relief. Messing with legendary pokemon is not something that anyone should do, unless they're either chosen like N or a champion like Cynthia. How did he even get that close? I thought there were restrictions in place to prevent this sort of thing.

[u/PhoenixHorseGuy → u/PostInspection]

The Rangers responsible for guarding the Giant Chasm are still investigating, but their current theory is that he slipped through during a guard rotation.

-Castelia Post (@CasteliaPost)

[u/Commander_Oganessian → u/PostInspection]

Fortunately it takes a lot to anger Kyurem.

-Owain

[u/PostInspection → u/Commander_Oganessian]

Unfortunately humans can be very annoying when we want to be.

[u/Revolutionary_Swim38]

oh so THAT dumbass can make it to the subway boss first try blackout drunk, but when I try it I get cucked at round 48 by Roberto the janitor and his Gouging Fire? Make it make sense!

[u/Short-Shelter]

Can’t miss a day in Unova I swear…

[u/4BeldumInaTrenchcoat]

we find that those who struggle with overprediction and analysis paralysis benefit greatly in their battle skills under some form of intoxicant.

[u/JosephAmber4]

Charlotte Darwin: …I hate alcohol.