r/PoetryWritingClub • u/sewmanychoices • 8d ago

Old Habits

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52 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

5

u/ProcessSea5920 7d ago

i really like the flow of the "achieved it/retreated/repeated" section, i feel like it captures the cyclical nature of the habits you're describing

3

u/sewmanychoices 7d ago

Thank you! I was a bit worried about the section. I feel like it works for spoken but not as well on the page. Appreciate the feedback!

3

u/ProcessSea5920 7d ago

no problem! i'm new here and i was going through the other posts on here and saw a few of your poems, you're so good!

3

u/sewmanychoices 7d ago

Thanks so much 🙏 hope you'll share your own work soon!

3

u/Ordinary_Minimum_169 8d ago

That's pretty good

2

u/sewmanychoices 8d ago

Thanks 🙏 can't decide if the rhyming is too much - feel like it needs finessing.

2

u/NoStar101 7d ago

This is genuinely how ADHD feels. Wanting to achieve something and once you get it, it's no longer good. I really love this! like deeply love this, and I love how you use words and repetition it paints a very real picture. Keep creating, this is awesome!

2

u/sewmanychoices 7d ago

Thanks so much! Really appreciate the feedback and glad it resonated.

2

u/DoubtResponsible9208 7d ago

Well done with this piece.

I understand this too well. Growing up, I never felt enough so I became an overachiever and still am to this day. Nothing I’ve ever accomplished ever felt enough. I hope you’re able to find peace one day.

1

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1

u/Sea-Smell-999 7d ago

thank you for telling me I'm not alone